Herbert Schweffe's definitions

Gunk Cannon

A particularly large and angry erection

Gary dropped to his knees to admire Alan’s enormous Gunk Cannon, “I couldn’t possibly fit that in” he exclaimed.

by Herbert Schweffe October 24, 2019

Protein Balloon

To ejaculate and hold the keeps in the foreskin, pinching the end to block seepage.

Barry thundered towards a massive orgasm and without missing a beat, Rick smartly grabbed the end of his foreskin, just as the tip of Barry's flesh chimney filled up like a protein balloon. Rick positioned his nostrils in line with Barry's shuddering trunk and released his grip...

by Herbert Schweffe November 15, 2017

Comfort Glove

In isolation wards where patients die alone, nurses fill rubber gloves full of hot doctor spunk, to simulate comfort.

As Grandma Trisha took her last dying breathes, a nurse lovingly attached a warm comfort glove to her ancient outstretched hand.

by Herbert Schweffe April 10, 2021

Personal Pipe

Male penis

He felt the blood rush to his Personal Pipe as she appeared at the doorway, with Tits to spare…

by Herbert Schweffe November 30, 2021

Holy juice

The ejaculate of a person of high ranking. Normally a member of the ruling classes or clergy.

Lord Hazelmere unleashed a fountain of hot spaff all over the marble floor. He hauled himself back into his trousers and left the room. From the shadows, his man-servant emerged with a Tupperware box and scooped up the holy juice for safe keeping.

‘’That’s some good keeps’’ he chuckled.

by Herbert Schweffe August 13, 2018

keeps

Spunk held in high regard. (Normally semen from the ringleader or alpha male)

Justin sprayed his magnificent keeps all over Adrian's outstretched hands, as Clive and Gordon clambered desperately for their own greedy fist full .

by Herbert Schweffe February 9, 2018

Spuff

A word smash of ‘Stuff’ and ‘Spunk’; quantities of semen so voluminous that it simply becomes meaningless or immeasurable… like the amount of individual shit tickets on a jumbo roll of toilet paper, or the quantity of dog turd collected by every council in the UK over the course of a year.

As Angus, Felix, Humphrey, Baxter, Maddox, Julien Clive and Barney all reached a frenzied and unified climax, they released enormous ribbons of Spuff over Duncan’s prone backside…
Later, as they moped up their collective triumph, it dawned upon Maddox how much more Spuff they could have created if Henry, Jacob, Gerald, Marmaduke, Cecil, Peter and Eggy Rupert hadn’t all been away at the Rugby 7’s in Gloucester.

by Herbert Schweffe June 18, 2023