Failzeton

The newest nickname for Hazleton, Pennsylvania. Based on the facts: a) Hazleton misspelled it's own name; b) all attempts to salvage this city always fail; c) Hazleton, PA = epic fail.
Another pimp killed another ho, instead of pimping that bitch for mad money. Welcome to Failzeton, biatch!
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 24, 2010
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Stone Couch

An unofficial landmark for kids in the Hazleton area of Anthracite Coal Region, consisting of a formation of rocks resembling a couch. It is located east of Hazleton, and south of Eckley Miner's Village Historic Site & Museum.
The Stone Couch appears to be man-made, but the culture that manufactured it is unknown. It is purportedly haunted, but no proof by local paranormal investigators have turned up any evidence.
Local legend says that if you sit on it once, you get scratched. Twice you sit on it, something bad happens to somebody close to you. Thrice you sit on it, you die.
The Stone Couch isn't scary at all, but just plain queer. The worst that can happen, is you waste a tank of gas looking for it.
by Hazletard-in-Chief November 22, 2010
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Nationwide Thugs

The nonexistent gang, all the the wiggers in Hazleton claim to be a member of. Sometimes shortened to "Nationwide."
hazletard: I'm in da Nationwide Thugs, yo. I'll cap your ass.

human: Does the Aryan Brotherhood, now except wiggers? That's the prison gang that runs the white section in state prison. That's were crackers like you go, when you keep this act up into adulthood.

hazletard: Watch your mouth fool. Nationwide will fuck you up.

human: Thanks, for all the footage of your terroristic threats, for my new cellphone. Enjoy prison, biznitch!

hazletard: I'm sorry. Don't call the police. I just act like this, because I'm a loser.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010
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Nueva República Dominicana

Spanish for New Dominican Republic. The Dominican nickname for Hazleton, Pennsylvania, due to it's evergrowing Dominican population.
white hazletard 1: I heard some spick, tell me to get my mullet out of his Nueva República Dominicana. Is that spanish for business?

white hazletard 2: Nope, that means move out of Hazleton, before you get your white ass mashed. I'm moving to Sugarloaf ASAP.
by Hazletard-in-Chief November 27, 2010
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hazleton

A style of mutual masturbation, in which a woman hangs upside-down, while her male partner stands rightside up.
man: This hazleton, is the bomb. We got to do it more often.

woman: Shut the fuck up, and work my clit!
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010
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hazletard

1) noun: A mentally impaired person from Hazleton, Pennsylvania; 2) verb: to render something or somebody useless; 3) verb: to act mentally impaired while in the city limits of Hazleton, PA
A hazletard (definition 1) stole my quad, barrelled up City Hall's steps and hazletarded (def. 2 past-tense) the fucking bitch. The cops found him hazletarding (def. 3 past participle) down the block, from meth. I got to leave this fucking town!
by Hazletard-in-Chief October 11, 2010
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Hazleton, PA 18201

If Pennsylvania was to have an illegitimate retarded child, this hell hole would be it.
Commonwealth of Pennsylvania: Can't we just abort Hazleton, PA 18201?

United States Supreme Court: No. Once you hit the third trimester, it's illegal. You are well over three hundred trimesters, already!

Commonwealth of Pennsylvania: FUCK!
by Hazletard-in-Chief November 29, 2010
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