A synonym for smegma. Sometimes used specifically to describe dick cheese belonging to a person of hispanic origin.
Armando: Duuuude have you seen how much boner queso Jose has? You could make a quesadilla with that shit.
Carlos: Nah mang, I'm not really into checking out other dudes dick cheese status.
Carlos: Nah mang, I'm not really into checking out other dudes dick cheese status.
by Hammer of Jesus March 14, 2017
The Devil's kiss is the heinous action of the tip of one's penis making contact with the cold porcelain of the inside of a public toilet.
I went to take a shit in the strip club bathroom, where I was unpleasantly surprised by the icy cold sensation of the Devil's kiss. Now it burns when I pee. Thanks, Satan.
by Hammer of Jesus August 06, 2017
An acronym for Sudden Extreme Boner Syndrome. SEBS may occur due to a sudden high volume of stimulation, or occasionally no apparent reason at all. Unfortunate recipients of SEBS often experience pain, rupturing of clothing in the crotch, among other unpleasantries.
Stacy was going down on Chad, when Chad suddenly thought about Stacy’s mom and immediately contracted SEBS. His powerful erection broke the sound barrier and punched a hole in Stacy’s skull. Stacy’s mom heard the sonic boom from downstairs and immediately knew that SEBS had just lobotomized her daughter.
by Hammer of Jesus February 05, 2019
An award-winning combination between the classic themes of Big Black Cocks and Cock and Ball Torture, resulting in a streamlined term, BBCBT.
Gerald: I heard the boys were headed to Bill’s house tonight for a chill BBCBT sesh. You down?
Tom: When the fuck have I ever said no to some dank BBCBT with the boys?!
Tom: When the fuck have I ever said no to some dank BBCBT with the boys?!
by Hammer of Jesus July 14, 2019
Bob: I heard Frank had to get reconstructive surgery on his asshole after spending an evening with Don.
Gerald: Just one night? Damn, there must have been seriously heinous anus gayness afoot.
Gerald: Just one night? Damn, there must have been seriously heinous anus gayness afoot.
by Hammer of Jesus August 18, 2019
A fartjob is a sexual act in which one particularly flatulent individual fully inserts their partners penis into their rectum. No thrusting is involved in a fartjob, otherwise it it simply farty anal sex. Instead, one remains idle sitting on their partners dick, and stimulates to completion using only the vibration of flatulence.
Chet: So my neighbors had me over for dinner, after I had them for burrito night at my place.
Jörg: You sneaky bastard! I see where this is going.
Chet: Yeah after a few drinks Mrs. Steinwald moved from her husbands lap over to mine and my dick was already out.
Jörg: Nice! Mexican food the night before really seals the deal. Was her husband suspicious?
Chet: Not at all! Once she finished the fartjob, Mr. Steinwald plopped right down on my dick for fartjob round 2!
Jörg: You sneaky bastard! I see where this is going.
Chet: Yeah after a few drinks Mrs. Steinwald moved from her husbands lap over to mine and my dick was already out.
Jörg: Nice! Mexican food the night before really seals the deal. Was her husband suspicious?
Chet: Not at all! Once she finished the fartjob, Mr. Steinwald plopped right down on my dick for fartjob round 2!
by Hammer of Jesus October 29, 2018
The act of using one’s penis as a makeshift gavel to strike a surface. One must loudly exclaim “ORDER IN THE COURT” as they strike said surface.
“Order in the court!” Bill shouted.
Bill brought so much order to Steve’s court that Steve was knocked unconscious.
Bill brought so much order to Steve’s court that Steve was knocked unconscious.
by Hammer of Jesus January 30, 2019