A person who believes in the teachings of Christ. Christianity was originally canonized and collated by the Roman Catholic Church. In the late 1500s, Henry VIII of England split with the Church and founded a Protestant Church. Later offshoots of this Protestant faith reached America and gave rise to the large number of different denominations and sects of Christian faith.
Statistics indicate that Christianity is the religion with the largest number of believers worldwide.
Christianity shares many facets of faith alongside the other Abrahamic faiths Judaism and Islam. All are monotheistic, all stress kindness to your fellow men, and all faiths maintain that the path to true happiness lies in devotion to God and the adherence to guidelines set out in canonical texts, whether these be the Old Testament, the New Testament, or the Quran.
Statistics indicate that Christianity is the religion with the largest number of believers worldwide.
Christianity shares many facets of faith alongside the other Abrahamic faiths Judaism and Islam. All are monotheistic, all stress kindness to your fellow men, and all faiths maintain that the path to true happiness lies in devotion to God and the adherence to guidelines set out in canonical texts, whether these be the Old Testament, the New Testament, or the Quran.
"I can't seem to get any water out of my faucet and the bathtub backs up with dirty smelly water. I've tried Draino and Clorox and nothing works. I think I should call a Christian."
"Dude, don't you mean a plumber."
"Actually yeah you're right. I need a plumber."
"Dude, don't you mean a plumber."
"Actually yeah you're right. I need a plumber."
by HMB April 07, 2003
A variant on the famous "Schrodinger's Cat" thought exercise, which questions the living or dead status of a cat locked in a box with a randomly-released toxic gas.
In a Schrodinger's Crap situation, a form of uncertainty principle is applied to certain types of bowel movements which defy pre-emergence classification. It is impossible to accurately predict their state until after it has emerged, by which point it is too late.
Parameters:
1. Something in your rectum is trying to get out.
2. It will be a solid, or a liquid, or a gas. And no other. (No plasmas, etc.)
3. If its final state is gaseous, you can liberate it with minimal concern.
4. If it is either liquid or solid, it will require further steps for successful disposal.
The paradox lies in the fact that the exact state of a Schrodinger's Crap cannot be accurately deduced before opening the system to observation. But opening the system to observation is fatal to the system's continued existence, as the toxic gas is already released. Followed to its logical extreme, the Schrodinger's Crap theory posits that the contents of the system are ALL OF: a solid, a liquid, and a gas - simultaneously.
(Note: the word "uncertainty" also has the word "taint" in it. Coincidence? I think not.)
In a Schrodinger's Crap situation, a form of uncertainty principle is applied to certain types of bowel movements which defy pre-emergence classification. It is impossible to accurately predict their state until after it has emerged, by which point it is too late.
Parameters:
1. Something in your rectum is trying to get out.
2. It will be a solid, or a liquid, or a gas. And no other. (No plasmas, etc.)
3. If its final state is gaseous, you can liberate it with minimal concern.
4. If it is either liquid or solid, it will require further steps for successful disposal.
The paradox lies in the fact that the exact state of a Schrodinger's Crap cannot be accurately deduced before opening the system to observation. But opening the system to observation is fatal to the system's continued existence, as the toxic gas is already released. Followed to its logical extreme, the Schrodinger's Crap theory posits that the contents of the system are ALL OF: a solid, a liquid, and a gas - simultaneously.
(Note: the word "uncertainty" also has the word "taint" in it. Coincidence? I think not.)
HMB: Dude, you're walking funny.
HDT: I can't help it. I feel like I wanna fart, or maybe take a dump. But I can't figure out if I'm going to "gamble and lose". I feel like I'm touching cloth.
APLR: Wait, I have an answer. Your digestive system is entirely described by a single state function, "psi". For every observable, "A", there is a corresponding Hermitian Operator, "A^". The result of measuring "A" must be an eigenvalue of "A^". If such an operator has eigenvalue "a" and corresponding eigenstate "phi", then the probability of measuring "a" is the positive value of ("phi"|"psi") all squared. If the result of a measurement of "A" is "a", then the state of the system changes to the eigenstate "phi". Between measurements, "psi" evolves according to the Time-Dependent Schrodinger Equation.
HMB: ...
HDT: ...
APLR: What this means in layman's terms is that the state of your bowel movement cannot be independently observed without opening the system and releasing toxic gases. You have a Schrodinger's Crap situation.
HDT: ... and now I am touching socks.
HDT: I can't help it. I feel like I wanna fart, or maybe take a dump. But I can't figure out if I'm going to "gamble and lose". I feel like I'm touching cloth.
APLR: Wait, I have an answer. Your digestive system is entirely described by a single state function, "psi". For every observable, "A", there is a corresponding Hermitian Operator, "A^". The result of measuring "A" must be an eigenvalue of "A^". If such an operator has eigenvalue "a" and corresponding eigenstate "phi", then the probability of measuring "a" is the positive value of ("phi"|"psi") all squared. If the result of a measurement of "A" is "a", then the state of the system changes to the eigenstate "phi". Between measurements, "psi" evolves according to the Time-Dependent Schrodinger Equation.
HMB: ...
HDT: ...
APLR: What this means in layman's terms is that the state of your bowel movement cannot be independently observed without opening the system and releasing toxic gases. You have a Schrodinger's Crap situation.
HDT: ... and now I am touching socks.
by HMB September 13, 2009
The state of being a smart ass, or possibly something done to create such a state. A Latinate spelling of "smart-ass-ity".
HMB's urbandictionary definitions are characterized by their loquacity, obscurity, and smartacity.
"What your comment lacks in logical merit or accuracy, it more than makes up for in smartacity."
"What your comment lacks in logical merit or accuracy, it more than makes up for in smartacity."
by HMB November 23, 2007
The practice of holding a hand out the window while driving at high speed and "cupping" the oncoming air as though it were a boob.
HMB: Hey, mind if I open a window?
DTM: Sure. Did you fart?
HMB: No, I just want to grab an air boob.
DTM: Ahhh, yes. Air boob time!
HMB: AIR BOOOOOOOOB!
(Both roll down windows, grab air boob.)
DTM's dad (confused): ..."air boob"...?
DTM: Sure. Did you fart?
HMB: No, I just want to grab an air boob.
DTM: Ahhh, yes. Air boob time!
HMB: AIR BOOOOOOOOB!
(Both roll down windows, grab air boob.)
DTM's dad (confused): ..."air boob"...?
by HMB September 15, 2009
"Have you seen that Kate Moss. She's got tits like fried eggs but I'd certainly slip her one."
Mario: "How many marks would you give Princess Peach, out of two?"
Luigi: "Hmm. I'd give her one."
Mario: "How many marks would you give Princess Peach, out of two?"
Luigi: "Hmm. I'd give her one."
by HMB July 12, 2003
A faux-Arabic term, used jokingly, to refer to the act of manually manipulating a woman's breast(s). Often spoken fondly during petting in bed or in cars. If used as part of bondage, or done to an attractive woman, can be called "Ghrabub-Baib" after the infamous Iraqi prison.
HMB: "Greetings, madam, from Ghrabub."
Woman: "Hey! You just grabbed my boob!"
HMB: "A thousand apologies. Allow me to introduce the ambassador of Ghrabass instead."
Woman: "Hey! You just grabbed my boob!"
HMB: "A thousand apologies. Allow me to introduce the ambassador of Ghrabass instead."
by HMB April 28, 2006
The practice of letting somebody in your social group get away with something normally punishable, solely by virtue of their gender.
Men in a bar will often give a woman a sexemption from paying for drinks.
Women at a homecooked dinner will often give a male diner a free pass from having to do the dishes.
Men in a bar will often give a woman a sexemption from paying for drinks.
Women at a homecooked dinner will often give a male diner a free pass from having to do the dishes.
There's a female poster on this games forum who keeps doing things that nobody would put up with in a guy poster. But I guess most of the other posters are dudes, and they don't want to scare her off, so she gets sexemption for now.
by HMB May 01, 2009