HMB 's definitions
1. The rate at which new employees vacate a given job or company, based on dissatisfaction with bad work conditions.
2. The rate at which a person's previous meal vacates his or her stomach, based on the intensity of their vomitting.
3. The rate at which a man's semen vacates his testicles, prostate, and Cowper's glands, based on the intensity of masturbation.
2. The rate at which a person's previous meal vacates his or her stomach, based on the intensity of their vomitting.
3. The rate at which a man's semen vacates his testicles, prostate, and Cowper's glands, based on the intensity of masturbation.
All: Yale's MBA program postulates the "Churn Rate Paradigm" as:
Client's churn rate = k(worker's stomach churn rate) = k(new worker's churn rate)
The intervariable relation is proportional and geometric.
1. The new-employee churn rate at my previous job was really high.
2. The work itself was nauseating. I would vomit at least twice a day. On high traffic days, employee stomach churn rate was even higher.
3. It was a mopping job at a sperm bank/peep show/gay brothel (delete as appropriate). For some reason, I always ended up with the highest clientele churn rate. I hated that job. I'm going back to Taco Bell.
Client's churn rate = k(worker's stomach churn rate) = k(new worker's churn rate)
The intervariable relation is proportional and geometric.
1. The new-employee churn rate at my previous job was really high.
2. The work itself was nauseating. I would vomit at least twice a day. On high traffic days, employee stomach churn rate was even higher.
3. It was a mopping job at a sperm bank/peep show/gay brothel (delete as appropriate). For some reason, I always ended up with the highest clientele churn rate. I hated that job. I'm going back to Taco Bell.
by HMB February 10, 2004
Get the churn ratemug. 1. Old English term for the word "arse" (which means "ass").
2. Present day term for the Irish tongue.
2. Present day term for the Irish tongue.
by HMB April 6, 2003
Get the ersemug. (noun) From Ancient Greek dramatic tradition, this usually comes after a great revelation (anagnorisis) has occurred, and consists of a reversal of fortunes. Thus, a king who rules wisely for fifty years, then discovers that he killed his father and married his mother without knowing it, is at that point in time a participant in a peripetaeia.
Film Critic 1: "I was relaxing with a few porn vids the other night and it turns out one of them was a gay porn tape that I'd shoplifted by mistake. Well, guess who was starring in that gay tape?"
Film Critic 2: "Dude, I don't know. I don't watch gay porn."
Film Critic 1: "Me neither, but get this: it was Peter North."
Film Critic 2: "No way!"
Film Critic 1: "I swear, it was Peter North. And another guy was doing him up the butt and then he comes all over the schoolroom table."
Film Critic 2: "Well this certainly makes for a very dramatic peripetaeia, coming as it does hot on the heels of an anagnorisis."
Film Critic 1: "Yes, and we might even say that his latent homosexuality is his hamartia."
Film Critic 2: "Dude, I don't know. I don't watch gay porn."
Film Critic 1: "Me neither, but get this: it was Peter North."
Film Critic 2: "No way!"
Film Critic 1: "I swear, it was Peter North. And another guy was doing him up the butt and then he comes all over the schoolroom table."
Film Critic 2: "Well this certainly makes for a very dramatic peripetaeia, coming as it does hot on the heels of an anagnorisis."
Film Critic 1: "Yes, and we might even say that his latent homosexuality is his hamartia."
by HMB November 20, 2003
Get the peripetaeiamug. (Noun) The state or condition of being awesome. Defined in a bogus mathematical theorem as:
Quality + Perception
-------------------- = Osimosity
Vulgar popularity
Not to be confused with animosity, or pretentiosity.
Quality + Perception
-------------------- = Osimosity
Vulgar popularity
Not to be confused with animosity, or pretentiosity.
1. Lord Ossum of the Ossumites was an Ozymandian well known for his osimosity.
2.
Freddie:
I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me...
Chorus:
HE'S-JUST-A-POOR-BOY/
NAMED-FREDDIE-MERCURY/
BOW-GASP-AND-QUAIL/
AT-HIS-OSIMOSITY!
2.
Freddie:
I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me...
Chorus:
HE'S-JUST-A-POOR-BOY/
NAMED-FREDDIE-MERCURY/
BOW-GASP-AND-QUAIL/
AT-HIS-OSIMOSITY!
by HMB August 2, 2004
Get the osimositymug. 1. National Missile Defence. A controversial plan to set up a series of interceptor systems to destroy incoming nuclear warheads and render an entire nation safe from missile attack.
2. A virulent curse in Mandarin Chinese, as coined by late Qing Dynasty and early Republic of China writer Lü Xun, who defined the "national curseword" of the Chinese people as "ni ma de", or literally "your mother's ...". Lü Xun never specified what possession or part of the mother is meant, but one can presume it is obscene.
Compare this with TMD and WMD.
2. A virulent curse in Mandarin Chinese, as coined by late Qing Dynasty and early Republic of China writer Lü Xun, who defined the "national curseword" of the Chinese people as "ni ma de", or literally "your mother's ...". Lü Xun never specified what possession or part of the mother is meant, but one can presume it is obscene.
Compare this with TMD and WMD.
1. President Bush: "We intend to ignore Chinese governmental protests, and to go ahead with plans to install a working NMD."
2. President Jiang Zemin: "Well, in that case all I have to say is 'NMD'. And now I'm going to play the piano."
2. President Jiang Zemin: "Well, in that case all I have to say is 'NMD'. And now I'm going to play the piano."
by HMB March 12, 2004
Get the NMDmug. 1. To masturbate to orgasm (usually suffixed by "over" something or somebody). This is usually but not exclusively used to describe male masturbation.
2. To lose consciousness (3rd person). Used when describing a general nonspecific occurrence.
3. To lose consciousness (1st person Royal). Used exclusively by members of the hereditary ruling families of English speaking countries to describe what happened to them when they were last playing "Who's the Tampon, Camilla?"
4. (imperative) An injunction given, in the 2nd person singular, to knock out one of whatever is to be knocked out.
2. To lose consciousness (3rd person). Used when describing a general nonspecific occurrence.
3. To lose consciousness (1st person Royal). Used exclusively by members of the hereditary ruling families of English speaking countries to describe what happened to them when they were last playing "Who's the Tampon, Camilla?"
4. (imperative) An injunction given, in the 2nd person singular, to knock out one of whatever is to be knocked out.
1. "Did you see that .jpeg of Madonna with the thong and pickled egg? I was on my way to work but when I saw that in my inbox I was waylaid by the need to rest awhile and knock one out."
2. "Billy, have you been knocking one out over here? The smell in this room is enough to knock one out."
3. "One has been knocking one out, one must pronounce oneself feeble as the strain of so doing has been enough to knock one out."
4. When two Scouse teenagers - wearing Kappa tracksuits and sporting formidable Scouse 'fro hairstyles - are going around smashing windows of buildings, and come across a 14th century church with several irreplaceable Gothic stained glass windows depicting scenes from the life of the Virgin Mary, passersby may often hear one Scouse youth inquire of the other whether the ecclesiastical image is worthy to be spared from their brand of urban renewal. The response is frequently "A-right, we'll just knock one out, then, an' leave the rest, okay Barry?" (HMB's Guide to Liverpool Nightlife, Fodders and Stoughton, 1993)
2. "Billy, have you been knocking one out over here? The smell in this room is enough to knock one out."
3. "One has been knocking one out, one must pronounce oneself feeble as the strain of so doing has been enough to knock one out."
4. When two Scouse teenagers - wearing Kappa tracksuits and sporting formidable Scouse 'fro hairstyles - are going around smashing windows of buildings, and come across a 14th century church with several irreplaceable Gothic stained glass windows depicting scenes from the life of the Virgin Mary, passersby may often hear one Scouse youth inquire of the other whether the ecclesiastical image is worthy to be spared from their brand of urban renewal. The response is frequently "A-right, we'll just knock one out, then, an' leave the rest, okay Barry?" (HMB's Guide to Liverpool Nightlife, Fodders and Stoughton, 1993)
by HMB April 6, 2003
Get the knock one outmug. "A fayre visaged manne was in the partee,
Lipsed of voyse, and limpe of wriste eek.
Ful wynsomme a crafty butcher was he,
We played heide thee sausage and I could not sitte downe for a weeke."
- Geoffrey Chaucer, Prologue to the Canterbury Tales
Lipsed of voyse, and limpe of wriste eek.
Ful wynsomme a crafty butcher was he,
We played heide thee sausage and I could not sitte downe for a weeke."
- Geoffrey Chaucer, Prologue to the Canterbury Tales
by HMB March 16, 2003
Get the crafty butchermug.