23 definitions by Gus

smooth jazz

A musical genre characterized by bland instrumental watered-down jazz; the soundtrack for men inbetween mid-life-crisises.
Every city has a radio station devoted to this brand of ambient droning -- usually called "The Oasis."

Was it just me, or was that elevator ride made more enjoyable by the smooth jazz stylings played at a reasonable volume?

Smooth jazz talked my parents into having sex last night.

My dad and the elevator both listen to "The Oasis."

by Gus February 13, 2005

Inverse Metroid

A sexual position in which one partner latches furiously onto the other's anus, and the later must drop several "bombs" in order to get the former "off."

1- "Did you hear what Paul did last night with Sue?"
2- "No, what?"
1- "The Inverse Metroid."
2- "What's that?"
1- "He latched furiously onto her anus."
2- "Oh, that explains the series of explosions I heard last night."
1- "...wait a minute. I thought 'bombs' was a euphemism for 'defecates?'"
2- "Hmm. And here I thought Paul was a euphemism for 'Bomberman.'"
(They embrace)

by Gus September 14, 2007

hasselbeck

Any act of masculinity that is just below a Arnold.

There is no way you can do 500 chicks at the same time, be a hasselbeck and only do like 300.

by Gus June 2, 2004

the Zigler

When you go down on a chick who is on the rag. Consequently you pull out piesces of uterin wall in your mouth then spit it out like orange juice pulp.

Julie was out of heavy flow tampons so I gave her a zigler as a substitute.

by Gus February 10, 2005

mariphernalia

Paraphernalia for marijuana-related activities. This includes: pipes, bongs, rolling papers, stash boxes, eye drops and breath mints.

I never thought that those pages from my complimentary Book of Mormon would make such effective mariphernalia.

by Gus March 12, 2005

sumbitch

A dirty Redneck

"Ya Thievin sumbitch"

by Gus May 1, 2003

Freshie

the alternative term for the amphibian species

" he's such a freshie."

by Gus July 9, 2003