34 definitions by Grinning Cat

Top Definition
The custom or condition of having only one mate in an intimate relationship, of being dedicated to a single partner.
Monogamy is a traditional ideal in various societies, yet many people in these societies are not monogamous.

Cheating (being involved with someone else, with secrecy and deception) is a destructive way to be nonmonogamous. On the other hand, swinging and polyamory (types of responsible nonmonogamy based on the knowledge and consent of everyone involved) are viable choices for some people.
by Grinning Cat March 06, 2008
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The worst system of choosing among candidates for public office -- except for all the others.
"The turnout for the election wasn't even 40% of eligible voters. The winner got a slight majority of that, so four out of five people DIDN'T vote for him. So from that he concludes he has a popular 'mandate'?!"
by Grinning Cat October 22, 2007
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The rules for "acting like a man"; the mentality, behaviors and restrictions that many men and boys are socialized to conform to. These tenets of the "cult of masculinity" are both symptoms and enablers of Dominator Culture. They can be so pervasive as to be almost invisible; yet they lead men to disrespect, mistreat, and abuse women and each other.


Demonstrate power/control (especially over women)

Aggression - Dominance - yell - intimidate

Do not cry openly or express emotions (except for anger)

Do not express weakness or fear - "take it"

Don't back down - don't make mistakes

Do not be "like a woman"


Have lots of sex with women - "conquests"

Do not be "like a gay man"


Make Decisions - Never ask for help

Women viewed as property/objects (especially sexual objects)

(Based largely on Tony Porter's TED talk "A Call to Men")
This is the love of my life, my daughter Jay. The world I envision for her -- how do I want men to be acting and behaving? ... I need you working with me and me working with you on how we raise our sons and teach them to be men -- that it's okay to not be dominating, that it's okay to have feelings and emotions, that it's okay to promote equality, that it's okay to have women who are just friends and that's it, that it's okay to be whole, that my liberation as a man is tied to your liberation as a woman.

I remember asking a nine-year-old boy ... "What would life be like for you, if you didn't have to adhere to this man box?" He said to me, "I would be free."
by Grinning Cat March 28, 2013
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Someone who's intensely, happily sated, such as after great food or sex, to the point that they can't do anything more than flop around.

(As used by Elsa Moriarty in cracked.com's "The 6 Most Counterproductive PSAs of All Time")
"You're spent after most anything fun, from sex to exercise to an intense round of Mega Man 2. That satisfied, post-coital and -foodal period is one of the best parts of the experience -- when every desire has been sated, and you're so happy you can do nothing but flop around like an endorphin walrus."
by Grinning Cat February 03, 2012
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A model of culture and human relations based on hierarchy, ranking, power, and control. Masculinity is equated with control, conquest, and violence: men dominating women and children.

Opposite to Partnership Culture.

In a domination system...

Humans are flawed and dangerous.

Difference is equated with superiority or inferiority.

Power is used to control and destroy through hierarchies of domination.

Competition means "dog eat dog"; "every man for himself".

People cooperate to dominate others.

Huge gaps between haves and have-nots

Nature is a resource to be dominated, depleted and polluted.

Morality of insensitivity, control, and coercion.

(Based on the Center for Partnership Studies' summary of points from Riane Eisler's _The Power of Partnership_ and David Korten's _The Great Turning_)
Dominator culture teaches all of us that the core of our identity is defined by the will to dominate and control others. We are taught that this will to dominate is more biologically hardwired in males than in females. In actuality, dominator culture teaches us that we are all natural-born killers but that males are more able to realize the predator role. In the dominator model the pursuit of external power, the ability to manipulate and control others, is what matters most. When culture is based on a dominator model, not only will it be violent but it will frame all relationships as power struggles.
(bell hooks)
by Grinning Cat March 28, 2013
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A model of culture and human relations based on partnership, linking, and respect. Women and men are equally valued; both men and women can be nonviolent, empathetic, and caring.

Opposite to Dominator Culture.

In a partnership system...

Humans have many possibilities.

Difference is valued.

Power is used to empower and nurture through hierarchies of actualization.

Competition means striving for excellence.

People cooperate for mutual benefit.

Economic structures are equitable.

Nature is highly valued.

Morality of sensitivity, caring, and respect.

(Based on the Center for Partnership Studies' summary of points from Riane Eisler's _The Power of Partnership_ and David Korten's _The Great Turning_)
We, too, in America are in the mist of an revolution. A transformation from a domination culture that views the world as fleeting and open to exploitation, to a partnership culture that wants its society to be permanent and seeks to partner with the world to create harmony.
(Eric Stewart)
by Grinning Cat March 28, 2013
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A congresswoman or congressman: an elected official who serves in the House of Representatives, the lower house of the United States Congress. "Congresscritters" can also, loosely, include U.S. Senators. The term is gender-neutral, and also attempts to remove these elected representatives from their pedestals.
"Writing to your congresscritters about an issue may seem pointless, but when enough people -- you and your friends and their friends and THEIR friends -- make their voices heard, the congresscritters will realize that their chances of reelection ARE affected by doing the right thing."
by Grinning Cat October 22, 2007
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