Best show on HBO that no one has ever watched. Main reason for streaming HBO to your Apple TV, although you still won't watch it.
"Hey Dave, I just started streaming The Wire on Apple TV. Have you watched it?"
Dave replies, "Not yet but I've been meaning to for 14 years."
Dave replies, "Not yet but I've been meaning to for 14 years."
by Grant Rampus July 04, 2016
The hospital’s invisible line outside the main lobby doors where they wheel their patients to after they are discharged. Utterly nervous that the discharged patient will slip and fall before they exit the hospital, a collective sigh of relief by the hospital lawyers after the patient has been wheeled to the line of liability, steps out of the wheelchair, and walks away.
The hospital staff gingerly helped the discharged patient exit out of the wheelchair and take a step over the Line of Liability. The patient could have collapsed after that and crawled to their car, but it wouldn’t matter; they had crossed the Line of Liability.
by Grant Rampus March 09, 2022
Most men, particularly husbands, are earsighted - the condition of being borderline deaf when 3 feet from their spouse. Problem amplified when their wife is assigning chores or talking about her day. Fortunately, those afflicted with being earsighted are usually quite adept at hearing far away, like when their friend has pulled into the driveway to take them away.
The doctor put down his ear scope after examining Jeff and asked him if his wife started a new job. Upon Jeff confirming, the ear doctor explained that Jeff was suffering from a case of being earsighted.
by Grant Rampus January 28, 2022
Standard calling etiquette needed for morons who would otherwise call people at any hour of the day. Monday - Friday you don’t call someone before 8am, Saturday before 9am, or Sunday before 10am.
Bob was awakened by his cell phone ringing at 6:43am. It was his drunk buddy Dale returning Bob’s call from yesterday. Clearly Dale needed to enroll at phone etiquette school to understand the 8 9 10 rule.
by Grant Rampus January 28, 2023
The vows the divorcing couple make to each other with hopes of a cordial post-marriage relationship. Awash in disillusion, not unlike with marriage vows, the couple untying the knot make promises of paying child support regularly, not switching weekends without notice, embracing new spouses, etc.
The divorce vows Rick and Cindy made to each other lasted about 3 months, approximately the same time as marriage vows last before disintegrating into reality.
by Grant Rampus February 07, 2021
In corporate America the guy who wines and dines clients, occasionally resulting in new business. Most often named Chad or Ken, these guys are perpetually 32-years-old and store golf clubs in their trunks so they can sell their BS on a golf course. Unofficial concierges since they know every bar and restaurant in town.
by Grant Rampus July 10, 2016
The dreaded tip expectation that comes during the Christmas holiday season and is expected by every service provider, from the mailman to the hair stylist. Confusion abounds on who is actually worthy of this extra tip, how much, and when the cut off date is. More specifically, there is a magical day in December (before Christmas) when there is an understanding that it’s the usual tip and one hasn’t crossed the threshold of holiday tipping. Generally thought to be December 15th.
Jimmy raced to the barber to get his haircut on December 15th, knowing that the holiday tip expectation was upon him.
by Grant Rampus December 10, 2019