Gnostic1's definitions

ballpark

v. 1) estimate. A word, based on an obscure reference, that makes no sense to non-Americans.

2) a sexual practice.

I don't know when the Dentist can see you but I could probably ballpark you at four.

Will that help my toothache?

by gnostic1 October 10, 2011

Ryder pride

An intense glorious personal emotional high caused by something for which you deserve no credit, or something which is pointless.

Why is Amanda strutting like a peahen with a fresh coat of paint?

Her sister parked Terrel Owens' car last night. Worst case of Ryder pride I've ever seen, even if she's using a sexual euphemism.

Even then.

by gnostic1 October 4, 2010

Canberra

place. Australian resort town with plenty of elbow room and a sheila on every arm. Too right mate! Foster rooms abound on the kanga tracks and drovers watch cricket all the bleeding night!. Makes Sydney look like a Wally's wedding!

Home to the Shepherds! Only the best Aussie Rules side ever!

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Canberra Canberra Canberra Ho! Jumbuck's spit it's time to go!

Do you even like Aussie Rules mate? Or do you just like drinking?

by gnostic1 October 15, 2012

Cremona

place. Slightly weathered settlement devoid of any big-hamlet pretensions situated in the bouldering belt of Alberta. Locally famous for its Parrot Parade each September and the Alberta Sheep Wranglers Hall of Fame, Cremona seeks to embrace a greater degree of ethnic diversity and has recently twinned with Biggar, Saskatchewan.

Initially settled by Blackfeet indians who were victims of what has been called the European Extinction, Cremona is currently a hotpot of cultural diversity with no tinges of rabid monotheism.

Stone-boat constructionists, root-excavaters, and gravel percolation technicians mingle freely with the artists, artisans and articled accountants of Cremona at the many tables in the cafe.

Ice-hockey amuses the population as does curling, which seems to involve bowling large pieces of granite down a long, frozen, gravel-studded blanket.

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Care to visit Cremona this week to get your bogey on and watch a curling rodeo?

Do I! Let me get my binoculars and a can of diet-coke!

Oh I think they have diet-coke in Cremona now!

by gnostic1 September 10, 2011

hoodsmash

n. any badly executed radical skateboarding trick that results in the boarder lying prostrate across a car hood and, by extension, any fouled-up trick, corporate merger, blind date, major intra-abdominal operation etc.

Yo dude! Did you hear that Natalie totally untwisted a choledochoduodenotomotic anastamosis so it wasn't a total hoodsmash?

Was she on her unicycle at the time? I'm just saying, 'cause that would have been totally awesome.

by gnostic1 January 23, 2011

Rimbey

n. small town in Alberta, Canada largely populated by the interbred offspring of hippies and American draft-dodgers who didn't hear about the amnesty. Furtively growing weed and selling each other badly-strung beaded necklaces are the major industries. Tourism has been in decline since 1897 when the three-headed calf died. In 1999 a death-punk band played a gig at the pool hall prompting the passage of a country music only bylaw. Gopher heads are accepted as currency by most shop owners and, for reasons lost in the mist of time, every resident must carry a live rooster.

I shot a few gophers on the weekend. Would you like to drive to Rimbey to pick up some necklaces?

No. Not really.

by gnostic1 May 1, 2011

life cache

n. Accumulated worth of your being; value of the knowledge, more than rhe physical wealth, you have acquired during your sojurn on earth.

When I die my life cache will live on and its wonders will enrich generations to come.

Yeah, right. Only if the price of pompousness increases dramatically.

by gnostic1 October 21, 2010