(noun) - A (typically highly educated) professional working in the United States due to scarce technical skills and in spite of a a deeply Limited English Proficiency (LEP). This is a very common malady in technology companies, university science and engineering departments, and government agencies that import significant portions of their workforce
Our electrical engineering department is just full of LEPers. Nice guys, and you can get lectures in circuit theory in any of 5 dozen asian languages, but there isn't a damn one of them that can hang together two English sentences.
by Frustrated_Monolingual August 04, 2009
(n) The guy who, after leaving a crappy job, helps his buddies from the crappy job find new jobs at his new company.
Frank is a Job Schindler. As soon as he got out of there, he started pimping our resumes to his bosses.
by Frustrated_Monolingual September 09, 2010
(noun) - an asymmetrical business arrangement, usually in employment, where the risks of loss are concentrated on the employee to ensure that the employee has guaranteed losses on any business reversals and contingent returns on any positive developments.
You have mountains of downside equity in that contract. The partners can deduct from your paycheck to make you eat the cost of delays that the partners exclusively control. They can swallow your commission if their client doesn't pay. They can even recapture from your future salary any underpayment with the negative carry-forward that they've imposed. On the whole, you're just a sharecropper with a JD.
by Frustrated_Monolingual November 29, 2010
Bonebait - a junior coworker who is so hot that her superiors would gladly risk their employment and a sexual harassment lawsuit in exchange for a sexual encounter with her
Example one: So, I'm sitting in the breakroom, pouring a cup of coffee, when that pile of smokin' bonebait that you call a secretary walks in. I poured her a cup, and she starts telling me about how bad her marriage is, and I thought, "Wow, half the lawyers in this town would gladly get a second divorce for a shot at this."
Example two: Yeah, your secretary looks pretty good... for her age... but you know that, twenty years ago, she was total bonebait.
Example two: Yeah, your secretary looks pretty good... for her age... but you know that, twenty years ago, she was total bonebait.
by Frustrated_Monolingual September 22, 2009
(N) A situation in which multiple levels of the chain of authority recurringly issue conflicting instructions or directives for appropriate action and punish any the inevitable resulting violations. Whichever side of the subordinate lands on, he will get the crap knocked out of him by someone.
This job is total fail pong. I go to the boss and tell him the solution is Y. The boss orders me to do X. I then get an email from the boss's boss asking why the fuck I did X instead of Y, and then I get bitched out by the client. No matter which way you go, you're screwed.
by Frustrated_Monolingual January 27, 2010
(noun) - the action or systems necessary to compensate for a work environment in which authority to resolve a problem is chronically pushed up to the apex of an organization and accountability for having the problem solved is pushed down to the organization's lowest-ranking members.
Turd pumping, which is the verb form, is normally encouraged by punishing the subordinate worker for the non-compliance of his superiors.
Etymology: Because shit only flows downhill, anybody trying to make shit flow uphill must be using a pump.
Turd pumping, which is the verb form, is normally encouraged by punishing the subordinate worker for the non-compliance of his superiors.
Etymology: Because shit only flows downhill, anybody trying to make shit flow uphill must be using a pump.
Example 1: In a restaurant, the servers are made responsible for customer satisfaction but are denied the authority to order the kitchen to reheat cold food. One turd-pump method is to ask the waitress who is sleeping with the manager to take the food back to the kitchen for reheat.
Use in sentence: Janet can turd pump that steak back through the kitchen for you because the chef knows that the boss is hiding the sausage in her pantry.
Example 2 (use in sentence): Subordinate worker "begging for review" of document that subordinate worker is not allowed to file or submit to clients until the documents are reviewed by a superior, where the subordinate will be punished if results are not timely.
Use in sentence: The reason that Liu can't the client's assignment out on time is that you need a 3-phase turd pump to get the partners to sign anything this week.
Use in sentence: Janet can turd pump that steak back through the kitchen for you because the chef knows that the boss is hiding the sausage in her pantry.
Example 2 (use in sentence): Subordinate worker "begging for review" of document that subordinate worker is not allowed to file or submit to clients until the documents are reviewed by a superior, where the subordinate will be punished if results are not timely.
Use in sentence: The reason that Liu can't the client's assignment out on time is that you need a 3-phase turd pump to get the partners to sign anything this week.
by Frustrated_Monolingual January 01, 2010
(noun) - a legal service in which the nature of the work being performed, such as patent prosecution or document review, discourages contact with other human beings and alienates the worker from the broader legal context of the transaction for which the work is being performed.
Sally, who could have avoided her current fate by shagging one of her firm's partners while she was still young and hot, thought that going to biglaw would mean glamorous jury arguments, but her resume is now worthless, because she's been doing nothing but cavelaw for three years as she typed up summaries of documents for month after month.
by Frustrated_Monolingual September 13, 2009