An irritated or inflamed anal area. "The chappies" is a condition somewhat like hemorrhoids but on a more temporary basis. Chappies are usually caused by excessive ass wiping due to having the shits or by excessive moist farts causing a sore, irritated anal region.
"Damn, Frank's food was so greasy I had the shits all day. Now I've got the chappies so bad I can hardly sit down!"
by Frank Klaune March 06, 2004
Perhaps the most famous and most recognized Tomism (see "Tomism"), the term is used as a general insult. Tom K. would speak of another person as having "the I.Q. of a peanut butter sandwich". It is believed that Tom did not originate the phrase, however. In recent times, the phrase has been combined with "without the jelly" on the end- supposedly to indicate that a peanut butter sandwich WITH jelly has somehow a measurably higher I.Q. Go figure.
by Frank Klaune November 24, 2004
Slang for the restroom or WC. The term is a more polite version of "pissalorium" suitable for use in mixed audiences. It makes you appear highly intelligent and sophisticated as if you know Latin, when in reality, you think it's a language spoken in Latvia.
by Frank Klaune January 27, 2005
An item which is broken, defective or substandard. Two explainations have been historically applied. The first is that in olden times when food was scarce, people would leave the bones, fat and undesireable portions behind after eating their meal. These second-rate items would be used for soup the next day, so as such, the poor-quality leftovers would "go to pot". The second (and more plausible) explaination is that in the days of the industrial revolution and early mass-production, assembly workers would occasionally find a defective or out-of-tolerance part which was not suitable for use. This part would be sent back to the smelting room to be melted down and re-cast a second time. Since the smelting was done in a giant pot, these defective parts had "gone to pot". In either case, the phrase gained popular use by the American homeowner who would occasionally wear out an item which would fail- often at an inconvenient time.
Frank didn't want to take his car in for routine maintenance. I wasn't surprised when his vacation was ruined after the car went to pot last summer.
by Frank Klaune February 22, 2005
A difficult maneuver in which one person repeatedly slaps the face of another in a furiously rapid pace. Usually done so quickly that the hand is almost a blur.
by Frank Klaune November 07, 2003
A simple attempt to measure and quantify the amount of alcohol needed in order for you (or your friend) to willingly copulate with any given female. A fun game to play in a pub, the standard of measurement is one draw (draft) of an average strength American beer. While a reasonably attractive female may rate a 5-6 beer factor, a more homely specimen may require a 12 or 15 beer factor. On the other hand, a very attractive female may not warrant the need for any beer at all, resulting in the prized "ZBF" or "Zero Beer Factor".
Frank was scoping over some fat broad playing pool in the back room. She looked like a dyke to me. She was so fugly that she was probably a 24 beer factor.
by Frank Klaune January 24, 2005
Sucessful completion of the sex act, but only after outrageously exhaustive efforts. Usually used to describe a rather un-satisfying sexual experience which one has been working very hard at achieving and, upon completion, does not think it was worth it.
"Lisa was playing hard to get. I had to take her out six times and spend a fortune on her to get laid, and then all she did was lay there and complain the wholetime. What a choregasm!"
by Frank Klaune November 23, 2003