Frank Klaune's definitions

sprog

v. Synonyms: cum, ejaculate, blow gravy, spoo.

Damn, Frank has a porn tape where a guy sprogs in some chicks nose like a Vicks nasal inhaler.

by Frank Klaune May 2, 2005

urinal anxiety

An affliction of males characterized by unusual behaviours in the men's room. Urinal anxiety is manifest in the actions of a man who walks into the men's room and heads directly toward the urinals, but -upon seeing another man already standing at a nearby urinal- immediately changes course for the stalls. Urinal anxiety afflicts a substantial number of males who have a phobia about pissing in a location where another male might notice their schlong (as if other males would have an interest in someone else's schlong...). The most extreme form of urinal anxiety is usually seen in locations using the old "trough" urinals often placed in ball park restrooms. The afflicted male approaches the other happy, piss-spattering companions, pulls his dick out, and... and... and... (after a long delay) zips his dick back up, unable to urinate, and shame-facedly departs the restroom unsatisfied.

Damn, Frank never uses the urinals. The other day he went into the women's room at the ball park to avoid the trough. I think he's gripped by urinal anxiety.

by Frank Klaune February 20, 2005

K-Mart Liturgy

You get up on a Sunday morning, take a shower, dress, then head out of the house. Your family is very sure that you are a good boy, heading out to go to church. Instead of attending church services, however, you go to K-Mart and spend just the appropriate amount of time there browsing merchandise so upon your return, your ruse is very convincing.

Frank's parents think he is such a good boy but we know the truth. He did a K-Mart Liturgy and bought condoms.

by Frank Klaune January 24, 2005

fuck her headlights out

Term used to describe vigorous sex with a some hot bitch. Usually used in a hypothetical situation- bar talk.

Frank was all boozed up when he gestured to that bitch in the corner and said to me, "hey... how would you like to fuck her headlights out." Frank is such a moron.

by Frank Klaune June 24, 2006

geemer

A cross between "Geek" and "Gomer" (as in "Gomer Pyle", the bumbling army private from the television series of the same name). The term "geemer" was popularized by A.J. "Vakodak" and was also used as a term for the once famous international tennis star, Guiliermo ("Geemer") Vilas.

"Look at that guy with the pocket protector and the highwater pants. God, what a geemer!"

by Frank Klaune March 5, 2004

click it and stick it

A phrase used by many American right-thinking, freedom-loving people who are keenly aware of the continual erosion of civil rights, privacy and disintigration of Constitutional liberties brought on by whiney, liberal nanny-state do-gooders who think big government is needed to protect individuals from themselves.

I was riding in Frank's car, napping in the passenger seat when the cop pulled us over. I got ticketed for not wearing my seat belt. Seat belt, my ass... it's now an oppression belt! I say CLICK IT AND STICK IT!

by Frank Klaune November 21, 2004

jackin' the beanstalk

One of many euphemisms for "masturbation" (e.g. slappin' the salami, jack off, beat off, buffing the bishop, glean the obscene bean, choking the chicken, spanking the monkey, waxing the wonker, greasing the guppy, shooting putty at the moon, and Rosie Palmer and her Five Sisters doing the Four Knuckle Shuffle.

Frank will be a little bit late. He's still back at his house jackin' the beanstalk.

by Frank Klaune January 24, 2005