Definitions by Fonda Dix
suitcase incompetence
noun
A level of {incompetence] where a grown man, asked to carry a suitcase up a flight of stairs, proceeds to bash it against every single step on the way up, with zero spatial awareness, while completely distracted on FaceTime, and somehow as loud, destructive, and aggressive as possible.
A level of {incompetence] where a grown man, asked to carry a suitcase up a flight of stairs, proceeds to bash it against every single step on the way up, with zero spatial awareness, while completely distracted on FaceTime, and somehow as loud, destructive, and aggressive as possible.
“Dude, your brother needs therapy. I've never seen such a level of suitcase incompetence. Even my little sister could carry a bag up the stairs without hitting every single wood step while yapping on FaceTime.”
“Total suitcase incompetence. Ew.”
“Total suitcase incompetence. Ew.”
suitcase incompetence by Fonda Dix September 13, 2026
The Eggplant Maneuver
When your partner insists you tell him your favorite vegetable and plants it in his garden, only to weaponize the "unbearable personal sacrifice" he has made for you the second he is called out on his bullshit. Instead of taking accountability, he reminds you to be grateful for his sacrifice of planting the vegetable he hates, bringing up his suffering to imply that you're ungrateful.
(noun)
Angie: “Stop ignoring my boundaries and get off me.”
Jared: (pulling the Eggplant Maneuver) “You know how much I sacrifice? I hate eggplants, but because you love eggplants I planted them in my garden for you!”
(verb)
Angie: “I confronted him about his bullshit, and instead of apologizing, he completely eggplant-maneuvered me.”
Stacey: “Wait, he tried to cancel out being toxic by bringing up the vegetable garden again?”
Angie: “Yep. Screamed about how much he 'suffered' for my sake until I almost apologized to him.”
Angie: “Stop ignoring my boundaries and get off me.”
Jared: (pulling the Eggplant Maneuver) “You know how much I sacrifice? I hate eggplants, but because you love eggplants I planted them in my garden for you!”
(verb)
Angie: “I confronted him about his bullshit, and instead of apologizing, he completely eggplant-maneuvered me.”
Stacey: “Wait, he tried to cancel out being toxic by bringing up the vegetable garden again?”
Angie: “Yep. Screamed about how much he 'suffered' for my sake until I almost apologized to him.”
The Eggplant Maneuver by Fonda Dix September 11, 2026
force cuddle
verb, noun
(verb) To cuddle someone against their will, treat their boundary as a personal rejection, and guilt-trip them for wanting space.
(noun) Unwanted cuddling from someone who acts offended that you have boundaries - a manipulative, red-flag move where a partner aggressively wraps you in unwanted affection and invasive clinginess to make your comfort their problem.
Basically, touching minus consent, disguised as "love" with a heavy side of guilt-tripping. The romantic art of ignoring "no" until it becomes a personality trait.
(verb) To cuddle someone against their will, treat their boundary as a personal rejection, and guilt-trip them for wanting space.
(noun) Unwanted cuddling from someone who acts offended that you have boundaries - a manipulative, red-flag move where a partner aggressively wraps you in unwanted affection and invasive clinginess to make your comfort their problem.
Basically, touching minus consent, disguised as "love" with a heavy side of guilt-tripping. The romantic art of ignoring "no" until it becomes a personality trait.
Stacey: “Angie, can you grab me a glass of water?”
Angie: “I literally can’t. Jared is force cuddling me right now. When I asked for space, he gasped and acted like I stabbed him in the heart.”
Stacey: “Ah, a classic force cuddle. Shame it involved ignoring the part where you said no.”
Angie: “I literally can’t. Jared is force cuddling me right now. When I asked for space, he gasped and acted like I stabbed him in the heart.”
Stacey: “Ah, a classic force cuddle. Shame it involved ignoring the part where you said no.”
force cuddle by Fonda Dix July 31, 2026
Cousin It pussy
Mom told me her friend has pussy hair so long she has to roll it up before she puts on her underwear. She’s got a cousin It pussy!
Cousin It pussy by Fonda Dix February 4, 2023
Tittilize
blabbergabble
noun. a delirious perseverent bummbuzzler who, although non-sensical, appears persuasuasive and convincing
blabbergabble by Fonda Dix October 1, 2021
McDank Challenge
the act of eating three McDank sandwiches from McDonalds, a large fry, and a large beverage with one half hour time.
McDank Challenge by Fonda Dix May 7, 2010