22 definitions by Flatster
Breaking down a process or system into smaller modules to make it more accessible/easier to comprehend.
On the other hand, it also mean over-complicating a simple process to the extent of being anal in the extreme.
On the other hand, it also mean over-complicating a simple process to the extent of being anal in the extreme.
Normal Bloke: Here you are Old Lady, let me help you across the road.
Old Lay: Thank you, young man!
Project manager: Now then Normal Bloke, we need more granularity here. Firstly, what road are you referring to? Next, is there any traffic on said road and if so, at what speed is it travelling? We also need to define the camber of the edges and the traction factor of the tarmac under the temperature of the day to ascertain the breaking distance of the road users in case of a Normal-Bloke-Old-Lady-slippage scenario. Next, we need...
Normal bloke: Fuck this, I'm off to Macdonalds.
Old Lay: Thank you, young man!
Project manager: Now then Normal Bloke, we need more granularity here. Firstly, what road are you referring to? Next, is there any traffic on said road and if so, at what speed is it travelling? We also need to define the camber of the edges and the traction factor of the tarmac under the temperature of the day to ascertain the breaking distance of the road users in case of a Normal-Bloke-Old-Lady-slippage scenario. Next, we need...
Normal bloke: Fuck this, I'm off to Macdonalds.
by Flatster December 12, 2008
Arms and fists when used in a fighting sense, particularly when landing a felling blow upon the opponents chin.
by Flatster October 27, 2005
A method by which one hit's water from a great height, usually at a swimming pool suitably equipped with a 5 metre (or greater) diving board.
Method:
Ascend the dizzying heights of the highest board you find at your local - on indeed, not local - swimming baths. Await the passing-by on the pool side of a life-guard/pregnant woman/hot totty/poof and then leap, feet first into mid air. Pull your knees to your chest and hit the water, arse first, angling slightly to ensure the greatest tsanami-like splash covers abovementioned recipient from head to toe in chlorine rich H2O.
Best accomplished by extremely overweight males who think it all a complete hoot.
Await expletive and expulsion from said swimming baths.
Method:
Ascend the dizzying heights of the highest board you find at your local - on indeed, not local - swimming baths. Await the passing-by on the pool side of a life-guard/pregnant woman/hot totty/poof and then leap, feet first into mid air. Pull your knees to your chest and hit the water, arse first, angling slightly to ensure the greatest tsanami-like splash covers abovementioned recipient from head to toe in chlorine rich H2O.
Best accomplished by extremely overweight males who think it all a complete hoot.
Await expletive and expulsion from said swimming baths.
Diver 1: "Look! There's that gayboy lifeguard! Bomb him!"
***leap***
Diver 2: "YAAAAaaaaaaa!!!!"
***Kasplashyboom***
Lifeguard: "Leave the pool now you wittle wapthcallion you!"
***leap***
Diver 2: "YAAAAaaaaaaa!!!!"
***Kasplashyboom***
Lifeguard: "Leave the pool now you wittle wapthcallion you!"
by Flatster November 9, 2005
The second poxiest kind of "music" on the planet, rap being the number one all-time shitest. I won't even go into why; just listen to some and feel your IQ decrease and your brains slop out from your ears. You may want to wear a cap sideways after the experience and that also makes you like a nob.
Pure talentless drivel. If someone said I should listen to some I'd rather, and I quote, "stick my wedding tackle in a lions mouth while whipping it's love spuds with a wet towel".
Pure talentless drivel. If someone said I should listen to some I'd rather, and I quote, "stick my wedding tackle in a lions mouth while whipping it's love spuds with a wet towel".
by Flatster October 9, 2006
by Flatster October 28, 2005
Speedball was one of the greatest games on the Commodore Amiga computer (and ST but let's not talk about that POS - spit).
Written by the Bitmap Brothers and published in 1991, it combined elements of the film "Rollerball" and... a computer game. Extreme violence coupled with super-smooth graphics and crunching sound ensured a two-player contest between you and your best mate ended up in fisticuffs.
A sequel was written, Speedball 2, which captured all of the elements of the first game but introduced eight-way scrolling, extra ways to gain points and even more violence.
Luvverly.
Written by the Bitmap Brothers and published in 1991, it combined elements of the film "Rollerball" and... a computer game. Extreme violence coupled with super-smooth graphics and crunching sound ensured a two-player contest between you and your best mate ended up in fisticuffs.
A sequel was written, Speedball 2, which captured all of the elements of the first game but introduced eight-way scrolling, extra ways to gain points and even more violence.
Luvverly.
You: "Oi! Twat! Wanna game o' Speedball?"
Best Mate: "Ya! I'll fuckin' cream ya!"
You: "You reckon?"
5 minutes later
You: "Fuckin; cheat!"
Best Mate: "Bollocks! My joystick is better!"
You: "Mine got stuck! Cunt!"
Best Mate: "Ya! I'll fuckin' cream ya!"
You: "You reckon?"
5 minutes later
You: "Fuckin; cheat!"
Best Mate: "Bollocks! My joystick is better!"
You: "Mine got stuck! Cunt!"
by Flatster May 18, 2006
A very mild exclamation for use in polite company. The fuller version is "Lorks a lordy" if you have a need for a more vernacular expression.
by Flatster October 28, 2005