Figleaf23's definitions

drain the snake

Urinate (in reference to the possessor of a penis)

Usually when you wake up in the morning, the first thing you need to do is drain the snake.

by Figleaf23 December 29, 2008

erotic arts

plural of erotic art, qv.

Professor Sex says: The shakey shakey, Rite of Shiva, rusty trombone, throat job, flanjitsu, and cunt grab are all examples of the erotic arts.

by Figleaf23 November 26, 2009

go fuck yourself doctrine

The go fuck yourself doctrine states that anyone and everyone, WITH NO EXCEPTIONS WHATSOEVER, can go fuck themselves.

For example, the go fuck yourself doctrine states:

Oprah can go fuck herself.

Mother Theresa can go fuck herself.

Ghandi can go fuck himself.

50cent can go fuck himself.

Abraham Lincoln and Winston Churchill and Nelson Mandela and the Pope and Ayatollah Khameni can all go fuck themselves.

You can go fuck yourself.

I can go fuck myself.

God can go fuck itself.

by Figleaf23 August 4, 2007

intellimancy

The process of divination using the medium of cogitation.

Cartomancy uses cards to tell the future, bibliomancy uses a book (often the Bible), geomancy uses earth and stones. Intellimancy is the same, except your mind is your oracle.

For an example of the process of intellimancy see the definition of honkey.

by Figleaf23 August 14, 2011

'roid monster

Short for steriod monster. Someone whose overuse of steroids renders them notably different from the human norm in some respect(s). Typical characteristics include: huge gnarled muscles, bad temper, irritability, leathery skin, grotesqueness of features, puffy, constipated, pain when urinating.

The 'roid monster snarled at all who approached as he stood wimpering at the urinal.

by Figleaf23 August 15, 2007

degrassi

a ludicrous, overwrought, badly written, lamely acted television show about a bunch of stupid irrelevant teens and their screwed-up implausible lives.

Degrassi was ripped off from an equally bad show in the '80s called Degrassi Street.

by Figleaf23 January 22, 2008

hellbent

all out; full steam; without let-up; very determined

Jimbo was hellbent on getting to La Guardia in time to meet Miranda before her plane left.

by Figleaf23 January 2, 2009