330 definitions by Fearman

Hal

1. The HAL-9000 computer, guardian of the spacecraft Discovery in the novels and films of 2001: A Space Odyssey and its sequel, 2010. First activated at the HAL plant in Urbana, Illinois on January 12, 1997 (or 1992 in the film version). HAL is short for Heuristic ALgorithmic, and not derived by moving one letter back from the initials of IBM, as some have suggested. HAL's apparently psychotic behaviour in 2001 is revealed in the novel, and in either version of 2010, to have been a result of a neurosis arising from conflicts between his programming to accurately input, analyse and output information, and the demands of national security mandated by the Pentagon.

2. Any troublesome, wary or otherwise bloody-mindedly unhelpful computer.

Open the pod bay doors, Hal.

by Fearman February 20, 2008

Che Guevara radical

Bleeding heart college age lefty who thinks they are working to defeat the whole terrible System with a capital(ist) S because there is a big red poster of Che Guevara (printed no doubt on a massive press somewhere like Columbus, Ohio) in their bedroom. Swears eternal enmity to anyone from NASA to Monsanto, has probably played their part in uprooting at least one field of allegedly GM sugar beet and has no doubt pleaded in public that we have no right to be in space until the last African baby is fed (and if that had been arranged there would surely be something else). Of course you just know that in ten years' time, if not sooner, the Che Guevara radical will have an office job for the Coca-Cola Company in Shanghai and drive an SUV.

She's 18 and she's all Che Guevara radical, but just wait until she graduates from Uni and the poster will come down.

by Fearman April 18, 2008

redrum

Word used in the novel "The Shining" by Stephen King and in the movie based on it and directed by Stanley Kubrick. "Murder" spelt backwards. Also works on many other levels, being suggestive of bloodshed, wrath, inebriation, violence, a force that consumes people's lives like some satisfying drink, and something used to subdue the Native American tribes that form a subtext of the film.

... redrum ... redrum ... redrum ... redrum ... redrum ... redrum ... redrum ... redrum ... redrum ...

by Fearman August 6, 2007

oxymoron

A contradiction in terms. Contrary to what some people will tell you, from Limerick to Florida, it does NOT mean a stupid ox. Derived instead from the Greek words oxy (sharp) and moros (dull).

Examples of oxymorons:

sunny night
military intelligence
compassionate conservative
ethical landlord
honest politician
open-minded altie
Christian Democrat
to appear invisible
deafening silence
friendly fire
charm offensive
civil war

by Fearman December 3, 2007

so many puppies, so little time

Expression of repressed rage and anger at the world. Taken as a lament that with so many puppies (vulnerable shitheads/valuable commodities/etc) in the vicinity, one does not have the time or freedom to exercise one's creative vigour in destroying the whole goddamned lot of them.

Twenty CVs sent out, nineteen Dear John letters, one ignored. No money. So many puppies, so little time.

by Fearman December 18, 2007

Hell

1. Town in Nebraska slightly to the west of Heck but east of Motherfuckingcrapdagger.

2. A place they send you when you die for posting those adverts for religions or religiously connected material on the right of an Urbandictionary page. Yes, this includes Scientology.

3. Accurate description of the surface of the planet Venus, although on Venus there aren't that many guys in kinky suits with pitchforks.

4. The most terrible place most people can imagine. Like a boarding school on Sunday, only funnier.

5. A place you invoke after you discover that the bottle of absinthe that cost you over a hundred Euro shattered in transit.

6. Rumoured to be the subtitle of the latest version of Microsoft Word.

7. Place where you go, according to Gary Larson, to play the accordion for eternity.

8. A place where there are fires everywhere but it's dark. It's either very very hot or very very cold. You burn up ... forever. If there was any possibility of it being real it wouldn't have to be portrayed as anywhere near as nasty.

We're in Hell, and the good news is the population is only 301.

Now that line on Hell oughta stop them ... I wish.

Venus is Hell, Earth is Heaven.

I thought I was back in boarding school on a Sunday, but it turns out I'm only in Hell. That's a relief.

Hell! My best absinthe!

Please wait while Microsoft Hell loads. Please wait while Microsoft Hell loads. Please wait while Microsoft Hell loads. Please wait while Microsoft Hell loads. Please wait while Microsoft Hell loads. Please wait while Microsoft Hell loads. Please wait while Microsoft Hell loads. Please wait while Microsoft Hell loads. Please wa

by Fearman April 23, 2008

Earth

1. The most jaw-droppingly, achingly beautiful planet in the solar system. Forget Saturn. Well ... I might be just a wee bit biased. Orbits the sun once in what its inhabitants are happy to call a year at a mean distance of 93 million miles, in the course of which it rotates on its axis just over 365 times. Equatorial diameter 7,927 miles. Equal in mass to all the other planets, moons and asteroids of the inner solar system (closer in than Jupiter) put together. The innermost planet in the system to have any moons, it has of course just the one, diameter 2,160 miles, orbital distance in this epoch 238,000 miles, circles Earth about a dozen times a year, slowly receding due to tidal interactions with Earth. Earth is the densest planet in the system. Fairly massive, two-layer iron-nickel core. Seven tenths or so of the surface is covered in water oceans. Atmosphere mostly nitrogen, large proportion of free oxygen, traces of other gases such as argon, carbon dioxide and water vapour. From space, appears as a pearly globe of green-brown landmasses, blue seas, and white ice and cloud. As of 2008, the only known body in the system (or, for that matter, the Universe) to bear life. Our home.

2. Mucky powdery stuff made from grit, organic matter and water, such as may be found all over the surface of, well, the Earth. Also known as soil. If it gets wet its name is mud. Good for growing plants in.

3. An electrical connection used to dissipate excess electrical energy in the ground.

It's all here on dear old Earth.

Stick your fingers in the rich earth.

Better to have this wire earth the charge, than your body.

by Fearman May 10, 2008