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Fearman's definitions

Mercury

1. Innermost planet in the solar system, and officially the smallest major planet since Pluto was demoted to the newly created category of dwarf planet in 2006. Diameter c. 3,050 miles. Large iron core, pitted surface, negligible atmosphere. Orbital period 88 days. Rotational period 59 days. Surface temperature ranges from minus 180 to plus 430 degrees Centigrade. No natural satellites. Gravity at surface about 38 percent of Earth gravity. Currently (in 2008) being mapped by the MESSENGER space probe.

2. The planet's namesake was the messenger god of ancient Rome, well known for his winged sandals and identified with intersex identity and hermaphroditism. Greek counterpart was Hermes.

3. Stage surname of lead singer Freddie of the rock group Queen. Born Farrokh Bulsara September 5th 1946, died of AIDS-related pneumonia on November 24th 1991. With his band provided much of the soundtrack for various movies, most notably Higlander. A real character.

4. Metallic chemical element, liquid at room temperature, density around 13.5 grammes per cubic centimetre (or times that of water), atomic number 80. Symbol Hg, from Latin Hydrargyrum, derived from Greek form meaning "water-silver". Toxic when ingested or vapours inhaled, affects nervous system, used in barometers, thermometers and numerous other applications.
Mercury has been visited by the spacecraft Mariner 10 and MESSENGER.

Please Mercury, may my courier reach Julius Octavius in time.

Freddie Mercury ROCKED.

Make sure you don't bite the thermometer too hard, or you'll get shards of glass in your mouth and a few drops of mercury down your throat.
by Fearman May 10, 2008
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scientology

Dangerous cult founded by Lafayette Ronald Hubbard when his shite attempts at science fiction epics failed to make him a zillionaire. Ropes people in by pretending to be a counselling service. Consists of an underclass of ordinary mortals who are charged through the soles of their boots for the chance to grab a hold of cheap electrical gizmos and read still cheaper sci-fi masquerading as a cross between psychiatry and cosmology, and an upper crust of celebrities like Tom Cruise and John Travolta who are treated with kid gloves for their PR value. Among its out groups are psychiatrists and doctors ... well, ya gadda keep the more honest competition away. Avoid if you wish to stay solvent, if you wish to stay sane, if you fancy enjoying some good old-fashioned noisy childbirth ... or if you fancy eating clams.
Scientology. Pulp science fiction's answer to the Mormon Church.
by Fearman November 25, 2007
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sizzler

A Big Lie. A real whopper. Something of real audacity, deep hypocrisy or serious ambition. It sizzles and it's hot, like a giant sausage spitting fat at a barbecue.
Bush's claim that Saddam Hussein was good buddies with Osama Bin Laden has to be one of the big sizzlers of the twenty-first century.

Another sizzler might have been, "This is my last territorial demand in Europe".

After twenty years of filling his skull with paranoid bullshit, Jimmy's mother's claim that the poor boy was autistic was a real sizzler.
by Fearman February 22, 2008
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furrydicemobile

A luxurious car, typically one driven by an asshole motorist who shows utter fascist contempt for hitchers and/or cyclists.
Unfortunately, the local roads are so full of potholes that my dynamo stopped working after about a hundred yards, leaving me at the tender mercies of Mikey here and his furrydicemobile.
by Fearman January 15, 2008
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Expression used of someone detested and now safely dead, to damn them with faint praise. From the 1989 movie version of Batman, directed by Tim Burton.
Joker (Jack Nicholson) on TV address:

Joker here. Now you fellas have said some pretty mean things. Some of which were true, under that fiend Boss Grissom. He was a thief, and a terrorist. On the other hand he had a tremendous singing voice. He's dead now, and he's left me in charge.
by Fearman March 4, 2008
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necro-reiteration

Mental experience in which you come to believe on numerous occasions that someone must have died a while back, often persisting for many years until you hear for certain in the media that they have just actually died.
I had necro-reiteration about Joan Miro and Evel Knievel for at least a decade before they popped their clogs.
by Fearman January 6, 2008
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cable hair

One of those hairs often found growing in facial hair that seem to consist of at least ten normal hairs welded together and that you simply can't resist the urge to pull out; fortunately, frequently an easy operation.
Oh, look. Cable hair. (Pinches and pulls.) Oooohh ahhh, that's lovely.
by Fearman August 30, 2007
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