Earth

1. The most jaw-droppingly, achingly beautiful planet in the solar system. Forget Saturn. Well ... I might be just a wee bit biased. Orbits the sun once in what its inhabitants are happy to call a year at a mean distance of 93 million miles, in the course of which it rotates on its axis just over 365 times. Equatorial diameter 7,927 miles. Equal in mass to all the other planets, moons and asteroids of the inner solar system (closer in than Jupiter) put together. The innermost planet in the system to have any moons, it has of course just the one, diameter 2,160 miles, orbital distance in this epoch 238,000 miles, circles Earth about a dozen times a year, slowly receding due to tidal interactions with Earth. Earth is the densest planet in the system. Fairly massive, two-layer iron-nickel core. Seven tenths or so of the surface is covered in water oceans. Atmosphere mostly nitrogen, large proportion of free oxygen, traces of other gases such as argon, carbon dioxide and water vapour. From space, appears as a pearly globe of green-brown landmasses, blue seas, and white ice and cloud. As of 2008, the only known body in the system (or, for that matter, the Universe) to bear life. Our home.

2. Mucky powdery stuff made from grit, organic matter and water, such as may be found all over the surface of, well, the Earth. Also known as soil. If it gets wet its name is mud. Good for growing plants in.

3. An electrical connection used to dissipate excess electrical energy in the ground.
It's all here on dear old Earth.

Stick your fingers in the rich earth.

Better to have this wire earth the charge, than your body.
by Fearman May 10, 2008
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duttyology

Branch of the sciences with which everyone is of course familiar and which already has coffee-table books devoted to it, but which has yet to be satisfactorily defined. It is therefore incredibly easy to award yourself a doctorate in duttyology. In a postmodern world in particular, duttyologists can multiply like rabbits.
As soon as I had even heard of the word, I had instantly awarded myself an advanced doctorate with honours in duttyology.
by Fearman October 31, 2007
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Simpson Rebuttal

An answer to the argument in favour of belief in God formulated in Pascal's Wager, formulated in turn by that great philosopher, Homer J. Simpson. Essentially, the God we are asked to believe in on the strength of Pascal's Wager, presumably the Judeo-Christian Jahweh, is merely one of thousands if not millions to have been worshipped throughout human history. Assuming the mere numbers of the faithful are an unreliable guide to the veracity of this god's existence (and no serious scholar of human beliefs would argue otherwise), then how do we know we've got the right god?
Simpson Rebuttal:

"But Marge! What if it's the wrong god? We'd only be making him angrier and angrier every Sunday!"
by Fearman February 24, 2008
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Political correctness

Mealy-mouthed attempt at getting people to avoid superficial expressions of bigotry, which ends up debasing the language without dealing with the stupidity underlying most hates and fears. Merely ends up giving the bigots one more thing to snarl at and, yes, it really can impose a tyranny of its own. Many examples of allegedly common politically correct speech are urban myths ... which we could still have done without.
Some (real and imaginary) examples of political correctness:

You're not black (in the USA), you're African-American.
(As Whoopi Goldberg once commented, and I may be paraphrasing, "My ancestors didn't come through generations of the slave trade and the Civil Rights movement to end up hyphenated.")

You're not crippled, you're differently abled.

You're not a member of the Undead, you are biometrically challenged.

You're not an android, you are an artificial person.
by Fearman August 16, 2007
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Elliott Carver

Played by Jonathan Pryce in Tomorrow Never Dies (1997). Newspaper magnate who likes to make his own stories. Had his wife murdered for colluding with 007 (and thoughtfully put her in his news bulletin). Prepared to risk WW3 in order to secure his market in China. Made the film. The only truly frightening Bond villain in the franchise's history.
Elliott Carver (on Bond's mobile in Hamburg): You have two things belonging to me, Mr. Bond. Now I've found one of them, I've a fair idea where the other one is.

(He is referring to his satellite decoder and his wife. Bond floors the accelerator back to the hotel ...,)
by Fearman August 03, 2007
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furrydicemobile

A luxurious car, typically one driven by an asshole motorist who shows utter fascist contempt for hitchers and/or cyclists.
Unfortunately, the local roads are so full of potholes that my dynamo stopped working after about a hundred yards, leaving me at the tender mercies of Mikey here and his furrydicemobile.
by Fearman January 11, 2008
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Gender Factuality Paradox

The Gender Factuality Paradox is that unsolved mystery encapsulated in the question, "If a man says something and the nearest woman is 120 miles away and listening to the Bee Gees, is he still wrong?"
The Gender Factuality Paradox is set to have Gender Studies MA students scuppered this year.
by Fearman April 01, 2008
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