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Definitions by Fart Esq

Turd Snacker

A Trump follower. A person who eats up everything that Trump says as if it’s true. Similar to Shit Eater, but not interested in the truth.
Turd Snacker: “Yup, January 6th was a day of love. Nobody even got hurt. Them peoples was just there visiting.”

Turd Snacker: “We need Greenland. Denmark never bought it.”

Turd Snacker: “Hoax…It’s a hoax. The Epstein Files are a conspiracy by Obama.”

Turd Snacker: “CNN is fake news.”
Turd Snacker by Fart Esq January 20, 2026
Reltnee-A hard-on so big and hard that all the blood in your body runs to your unit until it streches the skin on your face. Unsure of what do, you try to say, “Help me,” but it comes out, “Reltnee.”
(Laying in the hospital emergency room on a gurney)

Me: Doc, I had this massive boner….and I couldn’t talk!
Doctor: Yes, that’s a Reltnee. Not uncommon. You’ll be okay.
Reltnee by Fart Esq November 28, 2024

Trumping 

Whining about something that is unfair, really unfair, the most unfair of all unfairs, when it’s actually the truth.
Dude 1: “I just got fucked over. It’s unfair.”
Dude2: “You had an affair with a porn star, you lie at every opportunity, you’re a complete crook in business, you’re a megalomaniac and a sociopath. Quit your Trumping.”
Dude 1: “Whar’s Trumping?”
Dude 2: “”The new definition for whining, check out Websters.”
Trumping by Fart Esq May 13, 2024
Hysterical crying by toddler to pre-teen aged child. Usually accompanied by lip-quivering and/or gasping for breaths. This event is then over-described by the child later as, “Cryning.”
Child: “Mommy, you didn’t buy me that toy at the store, so I was cryning. Don’t you feel terrible?”

Mother, at the sink washing the dishes: (taking another drag lazily on a cigarette, then slowly turning to face the child.). “Oh yeah. That.”
Cryning by Fart Esq November 20, 2023

Trumpinium 

Trumpinium-A gelatinous orange-tinted mass, often mistaken for a solid blockhead-like metal , but is actually a seething, narcissistic, and infantile groups of spineless, gutless cells. Often mistaken for Dipshitinium, and molecularly similar to Jimjordaninium. Trumpinium and Jimjordaninium are particularly useless, and have no purpose. Both are considered poisonous to humanity and should be discarded.
(Two scientists, each peering through microscopes. One looks up, staring into space for a moment.)

Scientist #1: “Fuck!, I found some more Trumpinium.”

Scientist #2: “Shhh, don’t tell anyone. You know how anything it touches turns to shit. I found some Jimjordaninium yesterday, and I just flushed it.”
Trumpinium by Fart Esq September 17, 2023

Strorange 

The distance, up your back and over the top of your head, from your bunghole to your belly button.

Rhymes with the word, “Orange.”
“Dude, I just measured my Strorange, and it’s 7 feet, 6 inches….am I supposed to measure all the way to my weiner?
Strorange by Fart Esq March 8, 2023

Crappening 

An immediate, immense bowel of such proportions that you lose all sense of reality momentarily. Not to be confused with a, “Seat Snapper,” which is of denser consistency.
Friend: “Dude, come out of it! Dude! Dude! Are you okay?
Crapper: “Man, it was a Crappening....I’m okay now. Whew!
Crappening by Fart Esq August 19, 2019