Perking

To be attracted to nipples of all kinds in a sexual way, often searching out opportunities to observe them in their natural state.

Sarah: Steve, I thought you loved me, but you are perking at every set of nipples in this swimming pool.

Steve: *sobs* I'm sorry Sarah, I can't help myself, I AM KING PERKER. I need help....*gulp, sob*

by FUCKUPHIMA January 25, 2015

Cuny

Pet name for female genitalia, generally used by people trying to be cute but actually being pervy.

Neale: 'let me put it in your cuny'

Kirstine: 'Fuck off you pathetic perv, you make me think of Gary Glitter....and no you can't put it in my arse either...,'

by FUCKUPHIMA January 24, 2015

Patch

To be spanked on the buttocks with a wet and soapy rubber glove.

Patch me harder baby....yeah, that's how I like it.

by FUCKUPHIMA January 24, 2015

Log Wagger

A man who can only achieve an erection by slapping their penis against their partner's labia.

Debbie: Kaiser what's wrong are you stressed?'
Kaiser: 'Shut the fuck up bitch, whilst I Log wag you good'

*slap, slap, slap*

Debbie: Ffs...is that it?? I've seen bigger chipoloattas. Call yourself a Log Wagger!?! Twig Wagger more like...

by FUCKUPHIMA January 24, 2015