Eric Kazinsky's definitions

Monsters Theory

Monsters Theory is the now-mainstream belief that very large breasts on young, lean women is the single most attractive look a woman can have, despite it having a relatively limited genetic basis (as studies of female siblings have shown) There is no established explanation for how women with 25-30% body fat and large breasts have their figures but luck seems to play the biggest role, since their looks and their breasts both are not an accurate reflection of their parents. The theory that attractive parents produce attractive children has become eroded due to monsters theory. Monsters theory states that genetics play some role, but far less than expected and otherwise ugly, fat parents with not particularly good genes can unleash bombshells on the world.

Example: Guy 1: Did you see that girl at the gym? Man, those were huge!
Guy 2: Monsters Theory in action. Let the monsters do the talkin.’
Guy 3: You scared bro?

by Eric Kazinsky November 3, 2015

Spirespotter

Describes someone who holds a cock/spire upright. The reason the word spotter is used is because, just like in benchpressing, the holding/spotting is done by a third party representative. Spirespotting is most common before the spicy bologna is inserted into the vagina (or rectum, for you cumtheca spirespotters out there) during intercourse. In pornography, the most common case of this is when, during a male-female-female scene, girl #1 is about to get her peach cobbler rived, so girl #2 grips the hedgehog and guides it into girl #1's pudendal crawlway.

The coati Ben Coates was robbing a liquor store when he felt something from below the waist. He recognized it as a hand. He thought to himself, "What kind of person would give my johnson such a firm skyward grip? Oh yeah, a spirespotter."

by Eric Kazinsky January 27, 2007

Facebook Potential

Facebook Potential is the amount of potential attention and compliments a woman can get from Facebook. Many women are surprised at first by just how many men will cater to their every whim on Facebook. Once they realize just how pathetic and desperate most men are online, most women under age 35 are delighted to get compliments and likes from this army of beta orbiters every couple of days.

Guy 1: Why do you think women act like men are their sexual servants nowadays and don’t need to do anything in bed?
Guy 2: Even older women in their 40s started acting that way immediately after they realized their true Facebook Potential.

by Eric Kazinsky May 15, 2016

Rear Admiral

This term refers to a person who likes to stick long phallic-like objects up their rectum. The term was coined in the 1970s to describe high-ranking military officials who enjoyed poking their intestinal basin with objects that are similar in shape to a man's genitals. The motivation for this is unknown and the term is usually used in a derogatory fashion to describe someone.

Person 1: "Why didn't Steve want to come over for my college graduation party?" Person 2: "He was put off by the footage that leaked, proving he's a Rear Admiral. I don't think he can deal with the social pressures of confrontation on the topic." Person 1: "You mean he might start trying to push people off the balcony like Elliot Rodger at a house party?" Person 2: "Precisely."

by Eric Kazinsky May 25, 2014

Child Actor Syndrome

Child Actor Syndrome describes the medical condition of former child stars who are used to being treated like royalty and can't adjust being a normal adult later in life and freak out when faced with any tiny life problem. Being a child star describes how most women under age 25 live, with validation and coddling on all sides, no ability to work hard in anything, and a constant desire to be in the spotlight. This later develops into early stages of Child Actor Syndrome around age 23 or 24.

Guy 1: Why does that girl think she'll be able to finish medical school and be a real doctor?
Guy 2: Child Actor Syndrome. She's just posting about becoming a doctor on Facebook because she's a Like Hunter. She'll drop out in a few weeks. She's unable to adjust to a normal male's existence of getting no attention and simply working hard at things.

by Eric Kazinsky November 26, 2015

burden of proof

Your responsibility to prove or provide evidence for a claim you have made, without being allowed to change the subject or avoid backing up the claim. The sister term to a burden of proof is a red herring (a logical fallacy tantamount to derailing). When someone has the burden of proof and doesn't want to back up their statements, they will usually either commit a blatant red herring and try to sidetrack the conversation or try to shift the burden of proof onto the other person. Since few people can clearly list their beliefs and evidence about global warming, economic models and policies, and cause-and-effect social claims ("legalizing marijuana will make everyone into a drug addict!"), this will remain a major problem for many years to come.

Guy 1: There is indisputable proof that God exists. Guy 2: May I see this proof? Guy 1: No. It is your job to prove that God does not exist. Guy 2: I do not have the burden of proof here. I claimed nothing.

Guy 1: Donald Sterling is a terrible person. He should lose all of his money, his job, and never be seen in the public eye again. Guy 2: Can you defend the claim that he's a terrible person? Guy 1: I know him well, on the basis of hearing a phone conversation of his. All people like him are the same. They are racists and they need to go down! Guy 2: Slow down there. You have a burden of proof to prove that 1) he's a terrible person. 2) you can judge someone enough based on a brief phone call to know they're a terrible person 3) all such people need to go down (whatever that means). Guy 1: I'm not going to discuss this! He's a racist and that's it! Guy 2: Please be a mature adult and respect that to continue this dispute, you must address your own burden of proof.

by Eric Kazinsky May 31, 2014

Heat Check

A heat check is when you do something to check to see how hot you are. In basketball, this is done by taking a crazy shot to see if you are so hot, you can even make ridiculous shots. It is the most direct, non-subtle attempt to score with no strategy at all. In pursuing women, a heat check is a simple, direct statement made to a woman to see if she will be interested. A man is “just checking” to see if it works without needing more clever methods. The best heat checks involve minimal risk, because they are harmlessly “just checking” and not a full-blown attempt.

Guy 1: Why did you invite that girl to the bar with you so directly? Don’t you think it had zero chance of working?
Guy 2: Just a heat check. As long it doesn’t damage my chances at all with her in the future, it just checks to see if she might say yes to pure directness.

by Eric Kazinsky September 9, 2016