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Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick's definitions

Shaquille O'Neal

A 7 foot tall basketballer, named after Neil for being such an enormous giant.
Hey, look. Is that Shaquille O'Neal, or is it Neil?

You should know that's Neil, no one else is that big.
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Pork Scotch Pants

Discusting Tartan Boxer shorts that smell like shit. The only reason anyone knows that he wears these is because he came out of the bathroom in the morning while I was witing for the toilet and he had nothing on besides these. He seemed very embarassed and ran as fast as the little man could. When I walked in I realised why he was embarassed and ran to his room. The toilet stank like the worst pile of shit ever created. I ran straight back out. I used a pint of Air freshener and could still smell it at the bottom of the stairs.
ME: You'll never guess what I just saw.

DAD: What?

ME: Lets call them Pork Scotch pants. He came out of the bathroom and ran to his room wearing Tartan boxers. The bathroom stank!
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SNUF Bag

A grand item only obtainable by having an uncle Fred. SNUF stands for Special Needs Uncle Fred. It contains very nice foods such as bicuits, crisps, cake, and chocolate. Me and my dad recieve one every week from the legend known as SNUF. My gran (Fred´s sister) tells him he cant go spending all that money every week on me and my dad. Fred (also known as Willo) holds up a 20 pound note and says; its only two of these.
ME AND DAD(to my gran): A up Swytheerbridge, whats in the SNUF bags?
GRAN(Swyteerbridge): There´s some crisps, biscuits, cake, and chocolate.
by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick April 26, 2009
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Asda Toilets

A place many feel sorry for because it repeatedly gets filled with Hill Biscuits by Hooligans. These Hooligans also tend to dump on the shitty Hill Biscuits and not flush.
DAD: What have you been doing lately?

MONK: Well, there were too many Hill Biscuits in the SNUF Bag so I bogged em in the Asda toilets and shat on em.
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Pork Scotch Talent

The amazing ability of Pork Scotch's to bore you to bloody death just by saying "hello" to you. If he ever sees that you are in his boring presence you must escape it immediately because if the boring, gay twat so much as looks you in the eye, you will drop to the floor and fall into a deep sleep. He has entered many talent shows and the reason he didn't win was because he knocked out all the judges when he got on the stage and said "Hello there I'm Max" while wearing his shades that make him look important. He thinks he knocks all the ladies out because he's 'drop dead gorgeous'.
Pork Scotch: Hello Alex.

Me: Please don't use the Pork Scotch Talent on me!

Pork Scotch: What Talent? I don't recall any Tal...

Me (snoring): snaaaaaagggghhhhh, wwwwhhhoooooo.
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Maltby Bog

Formerly Known as, Nogtard's Bog. The bog that belonged to Nogtard until it was put on the Maltby Lorry aside the Pork Scotch Cone. A day after the bog claimed residency of the lorry, a packet of ginger found its way into the bog. mmm, ginger.
Nogtard: Nickin me bog then?

Dad: It belongs to the heroes now. It's called the Maltby Bog.
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Nogtard

The absolute spacker of a man that loves Hill Ginger biscuits and Sargents apple pies. This fat Nig-Nog is also known as the Patrick Road Chimp and only moves it's huge tongue when trying to impress people by stating the obvious. Many believe the reason for him having such a long tongue is because he has licked all the vanilla from the bottom of every bucket ever consumed by him. Living with the Spack Dancer, this retard tries to operate the fish tank with the television remote.
Nogtard: Done some shoppin' then?

Dad: <struggling with 10 asda bags> yeah.
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