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Definitions by Eaton Holgoode

Salmon Toupee 

A very hairy vagina that is overgown, unkept, dirty and smells extremely fishy.
Jorge picked up a hot babe at the local tavern and took her home for a romp in the sack. However, he became overwhelmed with nausea after she disrobed and revealed her Salmon Toupee. Jorge gagged as he ran out the door.

The Ringwald 

Is performed by a couple m/m or m/f or f/f. One partner stands while the other partner kneels facing the standing partner's ass. The kneeling partner then grasps the other partner on the sides of their buttocks to restrict their movement. The kneeling partner then places their face in the ass crack of the standing partner during which time they move their head side to side after placing their lips against the ass.

This act is similar to that which was performed by Molly Ringwald in Breakfast Club when she held the lipstick between her breasts and moved her head side to side to cover her lips with lipstick. Thus, the name The Ringwald.

This is the same act as analingus but easier to say in public without drawing attention.
Tony dropped his pants in front of Shelia. Shelia grabbed is buttocks and buried her face in his ass. She moved her lips and face from side to side. When she was done, she looked up, smiled and said to Tony, "Thanks for The Ringwald".
The Ringwald by Eaton Holgoode June 19, 2009

Wet Tuna Farts 

A gastrointestinal condition that lasts approximately 3-4 hours after one consumes bad tuna sushi. Wet Tuna Farts are caused by eating seemingly great tasting spicy tuna roll but it turns out unknowingly to be tainted tuna. While not enough to cause food poisoning, it is enough to cause excessive bloating and gas discharge.
Frank went to the Sushi Bar for lunch and ordered two spicy tuna rolls. To taste, they were magnificent. Unfortunately, about an hour after lunch he realized that the tuna was tainted after he experienced a massive case of the Wet Tuna Farts. He had to leave work the rest of the day due to co-worker complaints about the smell.

Musty Waff 

When you let out a fart that, while not loud or seemingly harmful, produces an extremely noxious odor similar to the smell of cat shit mixed with mothballs.
David crop dusted a group of girls that were seated in the Food Court at the mall. Although he figured it would smell, he did realize that he cut a Musty Waff until he turned around and all of the girls were gagging and choking.
Musty Waff by Eaton Holgoode June 19, 2009

Pussy Portico 

When the mons pubis is so fat and flabby that it over hangs the top of the outer labia.
John thought he scored a hot babe and took her home to bang her up good. He was disappointed when she dropped her panties and exposed her Pussy Portico. Damn girl, I could park a car under that over hang.

Turdilation 

A condition of the anus. Turdilation occurs after snapping a deuce so big that the size of it and brute force of it leaving the sphincter results in a dilated rectal orifice. Dilation size and period of time of dilation will vary depending on size of the loaf. In time, the bunghole will snap back shut. Post dump anal leakage may occur while dilated.
Harvey was so constipated from eating excessive amounts of cheese that he hadn't shit in 8 days. He finally was able to cut a turd but it was so big and compacted that he suffered Turdilation after dropping it in the stool. He was 3 cm dilated for about 30 minutes afterward.
Turdilation by Eaton Holgoode June 17, 2009

Paper Minnows 

Paper Minnows are the small fragments of toilet paper that remain near the bottom of the toilet bowl after taking a dump, wiping and flushing. Paper Minnows continue to float and move about the bowl in a fashion similar to Minnows in a lake, pond or fish tank and appear to be small opaque fish.
Dude someone just shat in there. Check out this toilet bowl. Look at all those Paper Minnows floating around down there. Whoa! Looks like one of the fish tanks in the pet department at Wal-Mart.