Definitions by Eaton Holgoode

Pulled Beef

The male penis, post ejaculation, in the refractory period. Often a flaccid or semi-flaccid state.

After a marathon wanking session, Jeremy laid back and admired the shrimp paste on his Pulled Beef.

Pulled Beef by Eaton Holgoode April 15, 2015

Organic Spread 

The natural, non-assisted opening of a person's pucker hole when laying face down, back arched and ass up.

Carla crawled up on the bed and gave Dan an Organic Spread and Dan dove right into her pucker hole with his hot wet tongue.

Organic Spread by Eaton Holgoode April 15, 2015

Breakfast Meat 

To wake up sporting morning wood in all its rigid glory.

Carl woke up sporting Breakfast Meat. Not wanting to let something that rigid go to waste, he gave it a good wanking before busting a nut and hitting the shower.

Breakfast Meat by Eaton Holgoode April 15, 2015

Purple Cauliflower 

A severe cased of inflamed, thrombosed hemorrhoids giving the area around the anus the appearance of a head of cauliflower.

Stan: Hey Brahhhhhhh! How was your weekend?
Gary: Great Brooooohhhhh! I wrecked my girlfriend's ass all weekend long. She loved it. But it looked like a Purple Cauliflower this morning. She wouldn't let me touch it.
Stan: Get her some salve Braaaaahhh!

Purple Cauliflower by Eaton Holgoode April 14, 2015

Helmet Liner 

The creamy, cheesy, odiferous amalgam that forms a ring around the base of the glans or bell endaka helmet of the penis. The amalgam may also be referred to as shrimp paste, smegma or duck butter. Helmet Liner may be hidden from immediate view in the case of an uncircumcised member and becomes visible during a Ripe Banana Peel Back. Helmet Liner is typically formed from pure, unadulterated penile filth.

Frank offered up his dirty dick to a prostitute on the way home from work. For $5.00, she happily wiped away the Helmet Liner from his bell end and commenced a sloppy wet hot gummy.

Helmet Liner by Eaton Holgoode April 14, 2015

Diddledo

Any improvised device used for the purpose of sexual stimulation and/or masturbation. To be considered a Diddledo, the device's primary functioning purpose must not be for sexual gratification. For example, a hairbrush, a spoon handle, a toothbrush or a chair leg would all qualify as a Diddledos when they are used to diddle one's self to a euphoric state of sexual bliss.

Having become bored with her customary routine of self-pleasuring with her fingers, Jane decided to be adventurous and used her new Martha Stewart Collection spoon handle as a Diddledo and made herself squirt.

Diddledo by Eaton Holgoode April 14, 2015

Mud Gloved 

To perform and receive the highly pleasurable act of anal fisting.

Roger's girlfriend loved to get her freak on. She loved getting Mud Gloved.

Mud Gloved by Eaton Holgoode April 14, 2015