Eaton Holgoode's definitions

Gum Trickin’

Paying a toothless whore prostitute for a sloppy, wet gummy blow job. The old hot gummy.

I’m gum trickin’ as soon as we leave the bar tonight.

by Eaton Holgoode January 31, 2018

Dog Beatin’

Another name for male masturbation. Jerking off. Wanking. Beating off. Stroking. Rubbing one out.

My roomie is in his room dog beatin’.

I like to do a little dog beatin’ when I take a shit.

I like to look at lady boy porn while I’m dog beatin’.

It was along night of dog beatin’. My cock is sore.

by Eaton Holgoode February 16, 2018

Pork Hammock

When you stretch your ballsack skin out flat and taut and your flaccid penis rests upon it. An ideal serving suggestion for presenting your cock to your lover’s hungry mouth.

Rachel wanted to blow my knob so I gave her the pork hammock.

My roommate walked around the house doing the pork hammock.

I did a little pork hammock last night in the mirror. I was bored.

by Eaton Holgoode March 12, 2018

Vagremorse

The constant pain and anquish when a male realizes that he had a choice between two chicks and he picked the wrong one.

Both Mary and Cindy wanted to rock Larry's world. Larry got caught up on Mary's pussy control and picked Mary over Cindy for a life long commitment. Soon thereafter, Larry found himself with Vagremorse after realizing Cindy was a better choice.

by Eaton Holgoode June 6, 2009

Chumming The Bathwater

While taking a bath, a male furiously and vigorously masterbates over and over again dropping as many jizz oysters as he can in the bath and watching them float.

Jervis got home from school and decided to take a bath. After entering the tub, he decided to get himself off and started Chumming the Bathwater.

by Eaton Holgoode June 24, 2009

French Horned

Deep anal fisting. Typically to the elbow.

I got French horned last night and well......not gonna take a shit today for sure.

Tara is waiting for me to get home. She wants to be French horned tonight.

Braaaaahhh. My uncle French horned me last night after everyone went to bed.

by Eaton Holgoode April 19, 2018

Hatch One

A pleasant and more socially acceptable way to announce that you need to take a big ole shit.

Ladies and gentlemen, if you will pardon me for just a few moments. I need to hatch one and will be back in about five.

by Eaton Holgoode February 22, 2017