Eaton Holgoode's definitions

Dirt Pinch

When you pinch a shit that leaves a seemingly never ending amount of remnant requiring wipe after wipe after wipe after wipe to try and get that last clean swipe of the ass crack. Usually leaves your ass raw from the toilet paper. Even after you think you are done, you still feel like one more wipe is needed.

I just took a dirt pinch. I must have used a whole role. I still feel dirty.

My brown button is raw skin from all the wiping from that dirt pinch I just took.

I’m gonna need to run back to the rest room. That dirt pinch has me needing to do just one more wipe. I’m all itchy down there.

by Eaton Holgoode November 8, 2018

Ol Turkey Tug

Masturbation after a hearty Thanksgiving meal. Typically performed on the toilet whilst taking that infamous Thanksgiving afternoon dump.

What a great meal. Now to top it off with a big dump and a good ol turkey tug.

by Eaton Holgoode November 23, 2017

Diamond Ass

An ass that’s so tight if you stuck a piece of coal up there you’d have a diamond in a week.

May reference just an incredible, tight, sweet ass. Or, may reference someone that is an uptight fucker.

Rachel got a diamond ass. It was so tight I barely got in.

Doug is a diamond ass.

by Eaton Holgoode June 9, 2018

Silk Dook

Dropping a shit so smooth it slides right out with no remnants affording a one swipe wipe.

My diet is on fleek right now. Nothing but a daily silk dook.

by Eaton Holgoode December 26, 2018

Stinkie Pinkie

When you are finger banging the old lady and you sneak your pinkie finger tween her ass cheeks and tickle in and/or around her fart box. Usually performed along with oral sex but not always.

I gave the old lady the stinkie pinkie last night. She was flopping around squealing like a pig.

by Eaton Holgoode November 27, 2018

Stretched to My Ears

A phrase used by a male or female to describe the quality of the anal or vaginal pounding they received.

Sandy: Hi Carla. How was your date last night with Roger.
Carla: It was great. I am Stretched to My Ears. I can barely walk today.

by Eaton Holgoode May 7, 2015

Tender Memories

Spending an entire day, or several days, in personal reflection and thought to recall the actions that took place during a hard night of partying that rendered you waking up naked with a greased ass hole and a sphincter that's sore and tender to the touch.

After a big party at his frat house, Carl woke up the next morning with some seriously Tender Memories. He spent several days wondering what happened and was only reminded of his tender bung each time he took a shit.

by Eaton Holgoode April 24, 2015