Eaton Holgoode's definitions

Arm Napkin

Using a shirt sleeve, like a napkin, to wipe up a mess of any variety.

Stan's secretary blew him under the desk and he shot a hot sticky nut on her face. Realizing she had no tissue to wipe off her chin, she used his Arm Napkin to clean up leaving it crusty and stained for his upcoming 3 p.m. meeting.

by Eaton Holgoode June 3, 2016

Hamburger Dick

When you do nothing but sit around day after day watching prom and masturbating non-stop and your dick is flat out sore, red and raw like ground hamburger.

That three day weekend left me with hamburger dick.

by Eaton Holgoode February 23, 2018

Sheet of Ice

When your wife or girlfriend won't give up that sweet pussy.

Carl: Hey Frank. Did you get any poon last night from Tonya?
Frank: No braaaahhh. Bitch a damn Sheet of Ice. Just ended up giving myself a wank.

by Eaton Holgoode May 18, 2015

Monster Jam

Monster Jam is motorsport event tour through the United States. Although events may vary, the general attraction is the racing and freestyle competitions by monster trucks hence the name, Monster Jam. Similar to Nascar, Monster Jam is very popular among rednecks and pre-pubescent boys.

Bobby Joe' s girl may think his beat up old Chevy and fisherman's tan sure are sexy and listening to Florida Georgia line is just the coolest, but they ain't nothing gets her hotter than an authentic redneck party like the Monster Jam.

by Eaton Holgoode March 13, 2015

Tangy Onions

Dirty, sweaty testicles.

I had some tangy onions after my workout. But Rachel got on her knees and sucked them anyway.

My fingers smell like my tangy onions. Foul.

by Eaton Holgoode June 13, 2018

Puff Puss

A flabby, meaty pussy. Hallmarked by meaty beef curtains.

Love eating a puff puss. So wet!

by Eaton Holgoode April 12, 2017

Wet Firing

Rapidly expelled, short bursts, of wet sounding (and sometimes actually leaky wet) gas that typically occurs immediately upon sitting on the toilet and prior to a full, explosive bowel release.

I don’t know who was in that stall this morning but all I heard was a belt buckle, a pants drop and a whole series of wet firing.

I ate way to much chili during the playoff game. I spent half the night trotting to the shitter and wet firing round after round.

by Eaton Holgoode January 28, 2018