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Eaton Holgoode's definitions

Dick-a-thon

When a horny, slut takes on as many dicks in one day (or night) as she can. Whether it be one on one encounters or gang banging, all count towards her Dick-a-thon.
Rachel took on 26 cocks on Saturday. She’s a true gold medalist in her Dick-a-thon.

I had to go stay with a friend this weekend. I couldn’t get any sleep. My mom was having Dick-a-thon.
by Eaton Holgoode May 8, 2018
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Purple Cauliflower

A severe cased of inflamed, thrombosed hemorrhoids giving the area around the anus the appearance of a head of cauliflower.
Stan: Hey Brahhhhhhh! How was your weekend?
Gary: Great Brooooohhhhh! I wrecked my girlfriend's ass all weekend long. She loved it. But it looked like a Purple Cauliflower this morning. She wouldn't let me touch it.
Stan: Get her some salve Braaaaahhh!
by Eaton Holgoode April 14, 2015
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Real Stiff Penis

1. An endearing term for someone who is just a real big dick. One who is an all around cock.

2. What girls or guys like spending upon orientation. A real hard cock.
My boss is a real stiff penis. What a jerk off.

Rachel is a whore. She’s always down for a real stiff penis.
by Eaton Holgoode October 17, 2018
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Chubbation

I was doing a little chubbation during class today. I think the professor noticed.
by Eaton Holgoode April 21, 2018
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Faux Anal

Faux Anal is a sex act that must be performed with a female with long hair who does not allow her male partner to have anal sex with her.

To perform the female partner lies naked on her back. She then lifts her hair up and over her head and covers her face, neck and upper chest. This gives the appearance that she is actually laying on her back and looking at the back of her head. The male partner then has vaginal intercourse while in this position during which time he uses his imagination that he is actually having anal sex .
Wayne: Hey Braaaa! Did you ever get your girlfriend to let you pound her poop shoot?
Leroy: No Braaaaa! But I got a work around.
Wayne: How's that?
Leroy: She lets me perform Faux Anal.
Wayne: You got a great imagination Braaaaa.
by Eaton Holgoode July 1, 2009
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Knuckle Custard

A busted load of jizz all over your fingers after rubbing one out.
Hand me my gak towel. I need to wipe up this knuckle custard.

I apparently didn’t wipe my hands good after jacking off this morning. I still got knuckle custard on them.
by Eaton Holgoode June 4, 2018
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Smooth, Trim or Full On

The three primary classifications of pussy hair and vaginal tidiness.

Smooth is a bush that has been shaved completely leaving only baby smooth skin. A real plus for oral enthusiasts.

Trim is a partially shaved pussy and any remaining hair is tightly trimmed and very neat. May often appear as a V shape on the mons or in a landing strip pattern. Generally, the lips are hair free.

Full on is one hairy puss. No shaving or trimming is ever performed. There is typically thick hair from the taint to the pubis. Usually results in bozo hair and sasquatch crotch.

Classification status is usually determined once the panties are removed so may come as a surprise to a person based upon preconceived notions about what a pussy might look like.

For the more daring and adventurous, one could ask a female boldly if she is smooth, trim or full on. The response my be verbal or physical and may or may not answer the question.
I finally got into Rachel’s panties last night? Yea braaaaahhh was she smooth, trim or full on? She was full on broooohhh. It was like a wooly mammoth down here. I’m still spitting hair.

Excuse me miss. Yes? I can’t help but wonder. Are you smooth, trim or full on? Smooth as a baby’s bottom my good man. Smooth as a baby’s bottom.
by Eaton Holgoode February 12, 2018
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