Definitions by Eaton Holgoode
Tar Wipes
When one drops a nasty, sticky defection with fecal viscosity that has the consistency of roofing tar. Tar Wipes require multiple wipes and an inordinate amount of toilet paper to clean up.
Frank: Wow Brahhhhh! You were in the crapper a long time. What gives?
Carl: I shouldn't have went to that all you can eat Indian Curry Buffet last night. My bung hole is burning and I got the damn Tar Wipes. Clean the stall out of both rolls of toilet paper and I still feel a little wet and greasy down there like I need a quick rewipe.
Carl: I shouldn't have went to that all you can eat Indian Curry Buffet last night. My bung hole is burning and I got the damn Tar Wipes. Clean the stall out of both rolls of toilet paper and I still feel a little wet and greasy down there like I need a quick rewipe.
Tar Wipes by Eaton Holgoode May 12, 2015
Tar Shits
A defecation that is so thick that it clings to the inside of the ass cheeks like a thick, roofing tar and requires excessive wiping to clean up. Tar Shits most often require clean up with a wet washcloth or simply disrobing and jumping in the shower so that a steady steam of warm water can aid in clean up. Clean up of a Tar Shit is often referred to as Tar Wipes.
Roger went to the doctor because he was tired of his constant Tar Shits. His doctor told him that he was consuming too much dietary fat which was making his stool sticky and greasy.
Tar Shits by Eaton Holgoode May 12, 2015
Prune Danish
When a male walks around wearing nothing but tighty whities and he intentionally gives himself a front wedgie aka camel toe by equally splitting his ballsack in half with each testicle popping and hanging out of the left and right leg holes of the underwear. Said act is performed for self-admiration by looking at it in a mirror, an act of disrespect or defiance or as a practical joke in an individual or group setting.
Example 1: Right after his shower, Carl loves putting on his tighty whities and tugging them up to his chest giving himself a Prune Danish and admiring his testicular symmetry.
Example 2: Stan was sick of his family giving him a hard time about his lifestyle choices. He waited until the family had gathered for breakfast when he waltzed into the kitchen sporting a Prune Danish leaving them speechless.
Example 3: Roger's roommate, Dan, brought his new girlfriend over to their apartment for the first time. Dan wanted everything to be perfect to impress her. Roger obliged and shortly after they arrived the wine was corked, Roger brought in a cheese platter while sporting a Prune Danish.
Example 2: Stan was sick of his family giving him a hard time about his lifestyle choices. He waited until the family had gathered for breakfast when he waltzed into the kitchen sporting a Prune Danish leaving them speechless.
Example 3: Roger's roommate, Dan, brought his new girlfriend over to their apartment for the first time. Dan wanted everything to be perfect to impress her. Roger obliged and shortly after they arrived the wine was corked, Roger brought in a cheese platter while sporting a Prune Danish.
Prune Danish by Eaton Holgoode May 12, 2015
Cankered
A nasty, dirty and often diseased whore's crotch. Typically the filthy crotch and neither region of a prostitute, meth whore or crack whore or just a chick with a dirty, cankered up crotch.
Stan: What's up Carl. Are you seriously going to go out with Jane?
Carl: Yea broooohhhh. I be getting me some a dat!
Stan: You and about six dozen others brooohhhh! That chick is cankered. Wear a sock braaahhhh. Wear a sock!
Carl: Yea broooohhhh. I be getting me some a dat!
Stan: You and about six dozen others brooohhhh! That chick is cankered. Wear a sock braaahhhh. Wear a sock!
Cankered by Eaton Holgoode May 12, 2015
Box Cake
Roger loves eating pussy. His latest girlfriend's snatch is so sweet, he refers to it as a slice of Box Cake.
Box Cake by Eaton Holgoode May 12, 2015
Salty Shellfish
A female's vagina aka snatch after a long day at the beach. The Salty Shellfish is noted by its aromatic qualities including an amalgam of sea water, sweat, vaginal juice, sand and dripping sunscreen and tanning oils.
Dan: Where is your girlfriend today?
Jeff: She is at the beach broooohhhh! I told her stay there all day.
Dan: Why?
Jeff: That way she would bring me home a ripe and ready Salty Shellfish. I'm eatin' me some tangy tuna tonight braaaaaahhhhhh!!!
Jeff: She is at the beach broooohhhh! I told her stay there all day.
Dan: Why?
Jeff: That way she would bring me home a ripe and ready Salty Shellfish. I'm eatin' me some tangy tuna tonight braaaaaahhhhhh!!!
Salty Shellfish by Eaton Holgoode May 12, 2015
Cusping
To wank oneself or to be wanked by someone else to the cusp of having an orgasm but stopping short of ejaculation. May be performed several times over and over before allowing orgasmic release of one's cum load. Cusping may be performed to enhance or extend sexual play or may be used as a form of BDSM play involving dominance and submissive roles. May also be referred to as Edging in the porn and fetish industries.
Roger's girlfriend enjoyed giving him a good wanking. She especially enjoyed cusping Roger from several good solid wanks that were stopped short before building him up to an explosive, orgasmic milking.
Cusping by Eaton Holgoode May 12, 2015