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Definitions by Earl Gray Tea Baggs, III

Republicantoring 

A Republican who is willing to go to the extreme to get elected, reelected, or get a bill signed. See cantoring.
Michelle is Republicantoring the House by forcing people to choose between freedom or tyranny.

Newtwife 

To service divorce papers while your wife is in recovery.
Poor Jackie, she got Newtwifed after surgery, but then Marianne became a Newtwive while hes was conducting an extra-marital affair during the Congressional investigation into allegations that Bill Clinton lied under oath about his affair with Monica Lewinsky. When will Callista become a Newtwife? He's had three wives, but his sister can't marry her partner.

conspirastory 

1. A false or a baseless news story that evokes mass hysteria or promotes a conspiracy.

2. An opinion presented as news with the intention of causing hysteria.
1) The radio talk show host's conspirastory presented excerpts from a paper written by the president during college. The source material came from a parody website. The talk show host maintained that even parody has the basis of truth. So, the story is based on truth.

2) People who lack commonsense will believe a well conceived conspirastory.

promotisement 

An advertisement disguised as a promotion or a promotion disguised as an advertisement.
1) Fox News presented Tea Bag events as news. However, they were a promotisement for Fox News sponsored events.

2) Commercials during television news programs that present products and services as real news bulletins. The mortgage industry collapse created a new bred of opportunistic promotisements.

sarahpackaging 

Collecting funds from hapless individuals for the purpose of promoting short-term and short-sighted political anomalies.
Michelle decided to attempt fundraising using sarahpackaging methods, but failed due to well informed contributors within her district.

Limbaughdid 

A celebrity grade form of Hydromorphone (trade name Dilaudid) a potent centrally-acting analgesic drug of the opioid class.
He's been huffed up on Limbaughdid for years, but he's still performing daily. If he worked at a local supermarket he would have been fired on day one.

Hannity Wipes 

A pop-up dispenser of greasy waterproof wipes.
Joe reached for the Hannity Wipes before pulling apart rancid pork from a barrel.