A volcano that spews hearts. A Valentine Volcano is most often seen at a senior center when two older people are very much in love, such as is seen with Beatrice Middleton and her boyfriend, Hec Hanley. A Valentine Volcano is very hard to stop; when it erupts, look out! Your heart will be on fire.
Beatrice: Wow! There's a Valentine Volcano out here. (she kisses Hec)
Hec: Whoah! Good one! Super-charged. You know there must be tons of Valentine Volcanoes around here.
Beatrice: Look where we are. We're at the Senior Center. There's some sweet stuff going on here.
Elsie: This is gonna be a great date! Would you dance with me?
Hec: (switches on 'Love Me Tender') This is a real volcano. Careful now, we're gonna get burned!
Beatrice: Its not that type of volcano. Would you be my Valentine, sweetie? (she sits down and starts rubbing Hec with some Martian Mud)
Hec: Of course I'll be your Valentine. You know I love you. We're both former Marines here. Semper Fi!
Beatrice: Yes, we almost live by the same creed. Honor, courage, commitment - A Gunny Granny's gotta do what a Gunny Granny's gotta do! Valentine Volcanoes are hot!
Hec: Whoah! Good one! Super-charged. You know there must be tons of Valentine Volcanoes around here.
Beatrice: Look where we are. We're at the Senior Center. There's some sweet stuff going on here.
Elsie: This is gonna be a great date! Would you dance with me?
Hec: (switches on 'Love Me Tender') This is a real volcano. Careful now, we're gonna get burned!
Beatrice: Its not that type of volcano. Would you be my Valentine, sweetie? (she sits down and starts rubbing Hec with some Martian Mud)
Hec: Of course I'll be your Valentine. You know I love you. We're both former Marines here. Semper Fi!
Beatrice: Yes, we almost live by the same creed. Honor, courage, commitment - A Gunny Granny's gotta do what a Gunny Granny's gotta do! Valentine Volcanoes are hot!
by Dusty's Baby Powder September 03, 2011
A substitute referee that came in when the other ref got sick. Usually dressed in a normal ref uniform, but with white sneakers instead of black. Often also leads the crowd in warm up stretches yelling "Move it!". Once of the most famous is Beatrice Middleton as seen in 'The Middletons' strip from December 27, 2009. Reftitutes are crazy. They will eject you!
Liv: Hey, today's a great day for a jog! How about some warm up stretches?
Ben: Oh no, not the Hatley Hula again! We've done that a million times.
Liv: Yes, but you love it. Uh oh, here comes the Reftitute. We better get stretching.
Beatrice: (wearing a ref uniform) That's right! You'd better get moving. Can I stretch with you, too?
Liv: Of course! Easy, stretch all the way over. There you go! Doesn't that feel creamy?
Beatrice: Yes, but what else?
Liv: There's the Hatley Hula, the Liv Lean, the Benball. There's all sorts of crazy stretches. Even referees need to stretch.
Beatrice: You do realize we're only stretching before going running, don't you? (She blows the whistle) Move it! Reftitute in the house.
Liv: Nice, I think I'm gonna love this.
Ben: Yes, Reftitutes are sweet!
Ben: Oh no, not the Hatley Hula again! We've done that a million times.
Liv: Yes, but you love it. Uh oh, here comes the Reftitute. We better get stretching.
Beatrice: (wearing a ref uniform) That's right! You'd better get moving. Can I stretch with you, too?
Liv: Of course! Easy, stretch all the way over. There you go! Doesn't that feel creamy?
Beatrice: Yes, but what else?
Liv: There's the Hatley Hula, the Liv Lean, the Benball. There's all sorts of crazy stretches. Even referees need to stretch.
Beatrice: You do realize we're only stretching before going running, don't you? (She blows the whistle) Move it! Reftitute in the house.
Liv: Nice, I think I'm gonna love this.
Ben: Yes, Reftitutes are sweet!
by Dusty's Baby Powder December 19, 2011
A black and white warm up suit shared by Ben and Liv Hatley. Most often worn by Ben when he rides on the Benmobile, but also shared by Liv when she does Tai Chi. The often put it on in the mornings when they get up so they can stretch themselves. So when you see it, look out, because Ben Hatley has got his Hunk Suit on!
Ben: (riding on the Benmobile) Hey, I better get my Hunk Suit on. We're gonna play some soccer today! I'd better burn off some of this goo.
Nick: Hey, I got my soccer ball. How about we play soccer?
Ben: I'm not sure I know how. Can you teach me?
Nick: Well, its not hard to kick a soccer ball. Here, I'll show you. Spread your feet out so you get a good stance behind it. Then, you angle yourself to get a good shot - about 45 degrees, or so. And then you run toward the ball and slap it with your foot. Here, watch Mommy do it!
Patty: Here, Dad, he's right! I'll show you how. He's got the right idea. But when you're kicking it, try to squat down into the kick. That's where all the power comes from.
Ben: Alright, I'll try. Here it goes! (Nick throws a soccer ball to Ben and Ben shoots it) Wow, look at that thing go! Watch out Havard Flo, here comes Ben Hatley!
Nick: (laughing) Wow! You've sure learned fast.
Ben: Well, I had a great coach, Patty Hatley Tokoname. (Ben and Patty slap a high five. Then Ben high fives Nick)
Nick: You look good in that Hunk Suit. You're a hunka hunka Hatley love!!
Nick: Hey, I got my soccer ball. How about we play soccer?
Ben: I'm not sure I know how. Can you teach me?
Nick: Well, its not hard to kick a soccer ball. Here, I'll show you. Spread your feet out so you get a good stance behind it. Then, you angle yourself to get a good shot - about 45 degrees, or so. And then you run toward the ball and slap it with your foot. Here, watch Mommy do it!
Patty: Here, Dad, he's right! I'll show you how. He's got the right idea. But when you're kicking it, try to squat down into the kick. That's where all the power comes from.
Ben: Alright, I'll try. Here it goes! (Nick throws a soccer ball to Ben and Ben shoots it) Wow, look at that thing go! Watch out Havard Flo, here comes Ben Hatley!
Nick: (laughing) Wow! You've sure learned fast.
Ben: Well, I had a great coach, Patty Hatley Tokoname. (Ben and Patty slap a high five. Then Ben high fives Nick)
Nick: You look good in that Hunk Suit. You're a hunka hunka Hatley love!!
by Dusty's Baby Powder May 19, 2011
A very painful form of arthritis suffered by Ralph Drabble, especially after working in the yard. The condition is so painful that sometimes he can hardly stand up. It is often accompanied by him talking to his body, saying things such as "Come on, left knee!" or "Keep going lower back!" The best known cure is the Drabble Stand, the exercise with which he ends his yard chores.
Ralph: Oh no, not Ralphritis! I'm gonna have to do a Drabble Stand, big time. Come on, left knee! You can do this! Easy, easy now.
LeRoy: What is that? What's with the groaning? Why are you cheering on your body like that? I don't do that.
Ralph: (he massaging his knees because he was kneeling on the ground) Its my Ralphritis. Its this disease I have. Terrible stuff.
LeRoy: I've got almost the same thing. My knees hurt when I run. Or when I've been working out too much. (he bends down and touches his toes) See, I know just what you're talking about. It is terrible.
Ralph: Yeah, we're in the same boat. We both have arthritis. But at least we know how to stretch it off. Its not easy with Ralphritis, though.
LeRoy: How do you do it? I want to know.
Ralph: A Drabble Stand. Here, I'll show you how. (He shows LeRoy how) You ease up out of the kneel. You don't just go all at once. That way you'll get a good stretch. See? Its easy. (both speaking together) Here's to Ralphritis! A yard warrior's best friend!
LeRoy: What is that? What's with the groaning? Why are you cheering on your body like that? I don't do that.
Ralph: (he massaging his knees because he was kneeling on the ground) Its my Ralphritis. Its this disease I have. Terrible stuff.
LeRoy: I've got almost the same thing. My knees hurt when I run. Or when I've been working out too much. (he bends down and touches his toes) See, I know just what you're talking about. It is terrible.
Ralph: Yeah, we're in the same boat. We both have arthritis. But at least we know how to stretch it off. Its not easy with Ralphritis, though.
LeRoy: How do you do it? I want to know.
Ralph: A Drabble Stand. Here, I'll show you how. (He shows LeRoy how) You ease up out of the kneel. You don't just go all at once. That way you'll get a good stretch. See? Its easy. (both speaking together) Here's to Ralphritis! A yard warrior's best friend!
by Dusty's Baby Powder August 14, 2011
A dance done at Camp Swampy by Major Randy "Birdie" Burk. Mostly done after a winning golf game. He will stamp his feet into the dirt, peck at the ground like a chicken, and wave his hands in the air. Similar to the Dirty Bird fan move. So if you want to stay out until about 12:30 play golf with Birdie Burk and learn the Dirty Birdie!
Birdie: Yes, I beat you good, Halftrack! (jumps up and down in excitement) Dirty Birdie, take that! (starts doing the Dirty Birdie)
Amos: Yeah, you beat me all right. What's this dance you're doing? Is that the Dirty Bird? (he starts following what Birdie's doing)
Birdie: No. Its not the Dirty Bird, its the Dirty Birdie. Its a dance that I do every time I win a golf game. You stamp your feet, peck like a chicken, and then do the Dirty Bird. Beetle Bailey fans will love it.
Amos: Sweet! This is a great new dance. When we get back I'm going to show it to Marty. We'll be doing the Dirty Birdie all the way down.
Birdie: Oh yes! The Dirty Birdie rules! Its a sweet move. It doesn't hurty when you do the Dirty Birdie!
Amos: Sweet! (they high five each other and stamp their feet)
Amos: Yeah, you beat me all right. What's this dance you're doing? Is that the Dirty Bird? (he starts following what Birdie's doing)
Birdie: No. Its not the Dirty Bird, its the Dirty Birdie. Its a dance that I do every time I win a golf game. You stamp your feet, peck like a chicken, and then do the Dirty Bird. Beetle Bailey fans will love it.
Amos: Sweet! This is a great new dance. When we get back I'm going to show it to Marty. We'll be doing the Dirty Birdie all the way down.
Birdie: Oh yes! The Dirty Birdie rules! Its a sweet move. It doesn't hurty when you do the Dirty Birdie!
Amos: Sweet! (they high five each other and stamp their feet)
by Dusty's Baby Powder October 29, 2011
A painful lower leg condition most notably suffered by Ben Hatley. Especially if he hasn't stretched before running. This condition is often very painful causing Ben to scream. A notable example of Bendinitis happened on May 12, 2006 when he didn't realize he and Liv were only stretching before running. But it can quickly be made up.
Ben: Oh no, I shouldn't have gone running. I've got a terrible Bendinitis.
Liv: Well, you should have stretched. A Liv Lean would have done it! Or maybe a Ben Ball. They stretch the shins.
Ben: Crazy cramp! Will this ever end? (he makes a seething sound as if it really hurts) Hey Liv, massage this for me, will you?
Liv: (laughing) Okay, okay, I'll massage it. Here, let me stretch it for you, too. Easy now, we'll get rid of that old Bendinitis. We'll send it back where it came from. It won't be coming back!
Ben: Whoah! Maybe you're right. A good stretch should do it. (he leans into a Ben Ball) That's the ticket. That's better.
Liv: I know. Bendinitis hurts! But, we can always make up for it. Just remember, Bendinitis hurts, so stretch it out first. (She laughs)
Liv: Well, you should have stretched. A Liv Lean would have done it! Or maybe a Ben Ball. They stretch the shins.
Ben: Crazy cramp! Will this ever end? (he makes a seething sound as if it really hurts) Hey Liv, massage this for me, will you?
Liv: (laughing) Okay, okay, I'll massage it. Here, let me stretch it for you, too. Easy now, we'll get rid of that old Bendinitis. We'll send it back where it came from. It won't be coming back!
Ben: Whoah! Maybe you're right. A good stretch should do it. (he leans into a Ben Ball) That's the ticket. That's better.
Liv: I know. Bendinitis hurts! But, we can always make up for it. Just remember, Bendinitis hurts, so stretch it out first. (She laughs)
by Dusty's Baby Powder August 09, 2011
its an abdominal exercise created and done by Ben Cranston. Done by standing someone on your chest and then doing a situp so they crunch against you.
Ben: Boy, this Cranston Crunch is a real ab killer!
Opal: What's a Cranston Crunch? I've never tried that.
Ben: You're gonna love it. Stand on my belly, I'll show you what it is.
Patty: Easy, dad, she might fall off.
Ben: (Laughing) Who cares?! Its a real gut buster.
Opal: What's a Cranston Crunch? I've never tried that.
Ben: You're gonna love it. Stand on my belly, I'll show you what it is.
Patty: Easy, dad, she might fall off.
Ben: (Laughing) Who cares?! Its a real gut buster.
by Dusty's Baby Powder November 01, 2010