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Definitions by Dr.FartScientist

sweat wipes

When you are sitting in a hot ass porto-potty that is baking in the scorching hot sun and the sweat off your back is running down your ass crack, your ass full of sweat turns your toilet paper wad into a wet wipe when you go to wipe your ass.
Q: Arthur, is your bunghole feeling fresh after that deuce you just dropped?

A: Why yes, Theresa, yes indeed. It was so damn hot in that fucking portable toilet that I was gifted with sweat wipes to freshen my ass! Now may I please receive that BJ you offered me this morning for raking the leaves?

Crappetite 

The need or want to eat certain foods because of the pleasure you receive from crapping it out. For example, spicy food because it burns your asshole or garlicky beans because you can kill trees with your gas and peel the paint off the walls when you blow up your bathroom.
Example 1: I have a real crappetite for that ghost pepper sauce, there's no better butthole burn!

Example 2: I have a real crappetite for baby food because how it eats isn't as important as how it craps.

meahicle 

I want to take this stink bitch out on a date; however my only ride is this cajun food meahicle! If I bring my tablet and hulu, it'll be dinner and a fuckin movie!
meahicle by Dr.FartScientist June 8, 2017

raw fart 

A fart which is released from someone's bare, unclothed ass. As opposed to a filtered fart which passes through underwear and/or outer clothing, a raw fart is smellier and will expell fecal matter and bacteria onto any nearby surface.
Person 1: Hey, why is Todd so sick?

Person 2: I released a raw fart into his silverware drawer.

Person 1: Wow, that will be the gift that keeps on giving until he's done using all those forks, spoons, and knives!
raw fart by Dr.FartScientist June 7, 2017

utili-tits 

Large female tits on women who work hard laborious jobs. What are they there for? No one knows. Utili-tits serve no purpose as they get in the way and hinder the job performance of the bearer of said tits and are often dirty from all that work.
Hey Tony, check out that broad's utili-tits! Yeah Bob, her tits may be wicked dirty but she sure can carry a ton of rocks from that quarry!

fart fumigation 

The intentional release of a fart into a cloth covered cushion, chair, couch, car seat, mattress, etc. by way of breaking the Fart Injection Threshold for the purpose of filling it with your personal brand of fart.
1. Excuse me Leroy, if you don't stop using Fart Fumigation in my gamer chair, you won't be allowed to come over and play Super Nintendo with me anymore.

2. Mother, Akeem Fart Fumigated my stuffed giraffe again. Now it smells like moldy nachos!

fart injection threshold 

The Fart Injection Threshold (FIT) is the exact pressure necessary for a person's "hiney" which is properly and securely mated with a cloth surface (couch, car seat, pillow, etc.) to break through the somewhat permeable fabric with flatulence. If one cheek of said hiney is higher than the other or your pelvis is tilted, the fart will fail to penetrate the fabric barrier and thus pass through the choad channel and dust the back of your testies.
1. Last week I had to put plastic on my couch because some bad children broke into my house and fumigated my furniture. Good thing scientists have yet to discover how to break the Fart Injection Threshold of 3,000 Mil plastic.

2. Yo, my girlfriend has such a sexy butt, I used to always sniff her car seat. That was until her pops told me that he frequently breaks the Fart Injection Threshold of her car seat when he borrows her car to get Indian food!