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Definitions by Dr Bunnygirl

when pigs paint

A variation on “when pigs fly,” a phrase used to indicate that something is never going to happen.
I will cast my vote for the Mobster in Chief when pigs paint!

pile-a-thon 

The inadvertent contest drawn out over the lifetimes of compulsive hoarders who cannot stop amassing items which wind up being part of unmanageable piles all over their homes and yards.
From the time right after those tragic events laid end to end, she was engaged in a pile-a-thon of unimaginable proportions.
pile-a-thon by Dr Bunnygirl June 27, 2020

brainspeed 

A term describing combined intelligence and cognitive processing speed.
You can’t learn brainspeed, you either got it or you don’t!
brainspeed by Dr Bunnygirl June 27, 2020

the dog ate my data 

An intentionally lame and pathetic excuse for not doing your homework, meant to be goofball-charming, since dogs are unable to actually consume computer generated data.
Yeah it was terrible, I wrote the entire totally stellar paper, it took me all day and all night, and then tragedy struck when the dog ate my data!

Fuckface Linguini

The newest Trump Inc. White House staffer who comes straight from 45’s mafia supply chain and whose nickname hangs with him from his early days when he was working in the porn industry.
Yeah, Fuckface Linguini is a rare gem, one of my most loyal friends who has steadily been on my payroll since the early 1980s when things really got booming for me.

American Dracula 

An increasingly popular nickname for the 45th POTUS.
He has continued to demonstrate his unrelenting intention to drain the lifeblood from every intelligent citizen and every effective and protective institution in the US and so we call him the American Dracula.

geezer shopping 

An art form of sorts, mastered by older folks, wherein the full geriatric shopping experience, from shelves to check stand, is exceedingly slow and careful and therefore difficult for everyone around to tolerate without triggering impatience and duress.
Take a chill pill, dearie, I’m old - in case you haven’t noticed - and I have earned my right to get out into the world and do some geezer shopping!