Don's Johnson's definitions

post-peak

adjective: describing a situation, object, or social trend that is highly illustrative or emblematic of social decline - as in the kind that takes place after the best years of a civilization have passed.

Jason: Did you see the green-haired girl scaling the side of the office building yesterday?
Jason 2: Yeah, she was trying to break back into the office after getting fired to get her giraffe stickers
Jason 3: I thought she was in the hospital with a food allergy or something
Jason 2: Yeah, I guess not
Jason: Damn bro... That's so post-peak

by Don's Johnson March 30, 2023

zero shock

In the career of any successful trader/private equity investor, there comes a moment when the amount of money risked on single trades starts to far exceed what individuals outside of the financial industry generally handle on a year to year basis. When said trader/investor first crosses this threshold, he stands at risk of suffering from 'zero shock', as the number of zeros in the checks he writes may be more money than his father earned in a year, or in a lifetime.

Tommy wrote his first $1,000,000 check last week, to participate in a series B financing. He got a touch of zero shock as he signed the line and tore the check free. "This is the life we chose", he muttered, passing the check onwards.

by Don's Johnson June 12, 2021

flame kiss earring

To lightly singe the earlobe of another.

I asked Dave if he wanted a flame kiss earring. He shrugged and agreed, so I burned him with my bic.

by Don's Johnson March 12, 2021

dp handshake

A sex act, wherein one hand is inserted into both the anus, and vagina, and contact between the hands is made through the membranes separating the two tracts. Also known as a 'DP High-5'.

Aaron: Dude, you go out with that chick last night?
Sam: Bro... Yeah... Fucked up too.
Aaron: Oh yeah? You tag that shit?
Sam: Gave her the DP Handshake, bro.
Aaron: No way!
Sam: Way. It was really weird. I don't recommend it.

by Don's Johnson November 28, 2017

perfect rainbow

A male-only auto-erotic sexual act wherein an individual laying on his back urinates in an arc, directly into his own mouth. Not to be confused with a Partial Rainbow, in which the individual need only hit anywhere within the facial region.

Ben: I was home watching Orange is The New Black last night when I got bored and did a perfect rainbow. Didn't spill a drop.

Jose: Damn man, you're sick in the head.

by Don's Johnson October 26, 2017

Pound Some Queers

A synonym for drink, or pound, some beers.

Todd: Hey Mitch, wanna go pound some queers down at Churchkey later today?

Mitch: Wow, and here I thought you were a liberal.

Todd: No, I meant drink some beers... You know, beers, queers...?

Mitch: Oh yeah, let's go pound some queers, for sure.

by Don's Johnson November 7, 2012

Email face blast

In direct email marketing, an email face blast takes place when a product promotion is sent out to a large number of targeted recipients simultaneously. Typically, this full-bore marking approach is used during in new campaigns introducing never before-seen products.

Jason: Email face blast is going out tomorrow on that new OTP promo.

Koyfie: Don't forget to send tissues along with that.

by Don's Johnson August 8, 2012