Don's Johnson's definitions

post-peak

adjective: describing a situation, object, or social trend that is highly illustrative or emblematic of social decline - as in the kind that takes place after the best years of a civilization have passed.

Jason: Did you see the green-haired girl scaling the side of the office building yesterday?
Jason 2: Yeah, she was trying to break back into the office after getting fired to get her giraffe stickers
Jason 3: I thought she was in the hospital with a food allergy or something
Jason 2: Yeah, I guess not
Jason: Damn bro... That's so post-peak

by Don's Johnson March 30, 2023

zero shock

In the career of any successful trader/private equity investor, there comes a moment when the amount of money risked on single trades starts to far exceed what individuals outside of the financial industry generally handle on a year to year basis. When said trader/investor first crosses this threshold, he stands at risk of suffering from 'zero shock', as the number of zeros in the checks he writes may be more money than his father earned in a year, or in a lifetime.

Tommy wrote his first $1,000,000 check last week, to participate in a series B financing. He got a touch of zero shock as he signed the line and tore the check free. "This is the life we chose", he muttered, passing the check onwards.

by Don's Johnson June 12, 2021

slab joust

To compare penis length and girth, in a public or semi-public setting, using a tabletop as the display area.

Rob and Chadd were having a slab joust on friday night. Rob came up short.

by Don's Johnson May 29, 2012

flame kiss earring

To lightly singe the earlobe of another.

I asked Dave if he wanted a flame kiss earring. He shrugged and agreed, so I burned him with my bic.

by Don's Johnson March 12, 2021

SFB

SFB (Settle For Black): When a large white women reaches a certain age, viable white mates all but vanish, but there's always the option to 'settle for black'.

Damn, Heather's like she's put on a few. Another few years of that kind of diet, and she'll have to SFB.

by Don's Johnson May 23, 2012

Pound Some Queers

A synonym for drink, or pound, some beers.

Todd: Hey Mitch, wanna go pound some queers down at Churchkey later today?

Mitch: Wow, and here I thought you were a liberal.

Todd: No, I meant drink some beers... You know, beers, queers...?

Mitch: Oh yeah, let's go pound some queers, for sure.

by Don's Johnson November 7, 2012

Email face blast

In direct email marketing, an email face blast takes place when a product promotion is sent out to a large number of targeted recipients simultaneously. Typically, this full-bore marking approach is used during in new campaigns introducing never before-seen products.

Jason: Email face blast is going out tomorrow on that new OTP promo.

Koyfie: Don't forget to send tissues along with that.

by Don's Johnson August 8, 2012