A voluble, involuntary speech impairment that the political animal inflicts upon his hearing audience. When asked for the truth, he invariably responds with bullshit -- i.e., "fartspeak," which is usually not so elevated a form of discourse as to qualify either as "bullshit artistry" or as "spin doctoring."
EXAMPLE:
"This is a guy who does congressional hearings, said Cessy. "I'm surprised he's letting it get under his skin."
"It's because he's lying," said Reuben.
"Oh, come on. Like they { the military brass } don't lie to Congress."
"They { these military asshats } spin to Congress."
"Well, he's spinning this, too, isn't he? 'I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding.' That's FARTSPEAK for 'I said it, you jerk, but you weren't supposed to tell.'"
"'Fartspeak'?"
"That's what we called it on the hill { Capitol Hill }, said Cessy.
-- Orson Scott Card, in "Empire", Chapter 10 -- "Fair and Balanced", on page 140.
"This is a guy who does congressional hearings, said Cessy. "I'm surprised he's letting it get under his skin."
"It's because he's lying," said Reuben.
"Oh, come on. Like they { the military brass } don't lie to Congress."
"They { these military asshats } spin to Congress."
"Well, he's spinning this, too, isn't he? 'I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding.' That's FARTSPEAK for 'I said it, you jerk, but you weren't supposed to tell.'"
"'Fartspeak'?"
"That's what we called it on the hill { Capitol Hill }, said Cessy.
-- Orson Scott Card, in "Empire", Chapter 10 -- "Fair and Balanced", on page 140.
by Dinkum September 04, 2013
Get the fartspeak mug.(1) ' The national anthem of the United States, based on the poem, "Defence of Fort McHenry", written in 1814 by the 35-year-old lawyer and amateur poet, Francis Scott Key, who witnessed the British Royal Navy's Chesapeake Bay bombardment of Fort McHenry during the War of 1812. The poem -- set to the tune of a popular British song, and renamed "The Star-Spangled Banner" -- soon became a well-known American patriotic song. With a range of one and a half octaves, it is known for being difficult to sing. Although the poem has four stanzas, only the first is commonly sung today. "The Star-Spangled Banner" was recognized for official use by the Navy in 1889, and by President Woodrow Wilson in 1916, and was made the national anthem by a congressional resolution on March 3, 1931 (46 Stat. 1508, codified at 36 U.S.C. § 301), which was signed by President Herbert Hoover. ' -- Wikipedia
(2) According to Kurt Vonnegut, the American national anthem is "pure balderdash", "gibberish sprinkled with question marks". (Which still doesn't prevent me from waxing sentimental over "Old Spangles", but then again I remain fond of ""Waltzing Matilda" -- once called "the unofficial national anthem of Australia" -- the jolly swagman's song now axed by the newly prim-and-proper Ozzies). -- Dinkum
(2) According to Kurt Vonnegut, the American national anthem is "pure balderdash", "gibberish sprinkled with question marks". (Which still doesn't prevent me from waxing sentimental over "Old Spangles", but then again I remain fond of ""Waltzing Matilda" -- once called "the unofficial national anthem of Australia" -- the jolly swagman's song now axed by the newly prim-and-proper Ozzies). -- Dinkum
EXAMPLE:
' Trout and Hoover were citizens of the United States of America, a country which was called America for short. This was their national anthem, which was pure balderdash, like so much they were expected to take seriously:
' "O, say can you see by the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's
last gleaming,
Whose broad stripes and bright stars,
thru the perilous fight
O'er the ramparts we watched were so
gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs
bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our
flag was still there.
O, say does that star-spangled banner
yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home
of the brave?"
' There were one quadrillion nations in the Universe, but the nation Dwayne Hoover and Kilgore Trout belonged to was the only one with a national anthem which was gibberish sprinkled with question marks. '
-- From Kurt Vonnegut's 1973 novel "Breakfast of Champions" -- Chapter 1 (pages 7 - 8).
' Trout and Hoover were citizens of the United States of America, a country which was called America for short. This was their national anthem, which was pure balderdash, like so much they were expected to take seriously:
' "O, say can you see by the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's
last gleaming,
Whose broad stripes and bright stars,
thru the perilous fight
O'er the ramparts we watched were so
gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs
bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our
flag was still there.
O, say does that star-spangled banner
yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home
of the brave?"
' There were one quadrillion nations in the Universe, but the nation Dwayne Hoover and Kilgore Trout belonged to was the only one with a national anthem which was gibberish sprinkled with question marks. '
-- From Kurt Vonnegut's 1973 novel "Breakfast of Champions" -- Chapter 1 (pages 7 - 8).
by Dinkum August 20, 2013
Get the Star-Spangled Banner mug.DEFINITIONS:
(1) Any toothless, crazy old bag lady who stumbles down the street yelling at passersby. She specializes in speaking to people no one else can see, sincerely believing all the while that she is completely capable of simultaneously addressing a "parliament" of owls, a "murder" of crows, AND a congress of crocodiles.
(2) By extension, any government official or self-appointed "authority" who says you must do something when they have only some toothless law or ordinance to back up their words. (Better do what I say, or I'll gum you to death!)
(1) Any toothless, crazy old bag lady who stumbles down the street yelling at passersby. She specializes in speaking to people no one else can see, sincerely believing all the while that she is completely capable of simultaneously addressing a "parliament" of owls, a "murder" of crows, AND a congress of crocodiles.
(2) By extension, any government official or self-appointed "authority" who says you must do something when they have only some toothless law or ordinance to back up their words. (Better do what I say, or I'll gum you to death!)
EXAMPLES:
(1) We met a crackhead in Cleveland who went by the name "Queen No-teef-ah."
(2) Last time I had a toothache I couldn't see a dentist. I had to get it pulled down at Killer County where they used what looked like the bone from a rat's rib to pry it out my mouth. Had two pulled since then, so now I feel like Queen No-teef-ah.
(3) Durham county has laws on the books requiring that all citizens and businesses recycle -- but seldom if ever are these laws enforced. So, without enforcement, these laws remain toothless, like crazy ol' Queen No-teef-ah. What do they plan to do, gum us to death?
(1) We met a crackhead in Cleveland who went by the name "Queen No-teef-ah."
(2) Last time I had a toothache I couldn't see a dentist. I had to get it pulled down at Killer County where they used what looked like the bone from a rat's rib to pry it out my mouth. Had two pulled since then, so now I feel like Queen No-teef-ah.
(3) Durham county has laws on the books requiring that all citizens and businesses recycle -- but seldom if ever are these laws enforced. So, without enforcement, these laws remain toothless, like crazy ol' Queen No-teef-ah. What do they plan to do, gum us to death?
by Dinkum March 05, 2014
Get the Queen No-teef-ah mug.A guy who derives pleasure from running around sniffing girls' bicycle seats. (Not to be confused with a "twerp").
"Do you know what a twerp is? When I was in Shortridge High School in Indianapolis 65 years ago, a twerp was a guy who stuck a set of false teeth up his butt and bit the buttons off the back seats of taxicabs. (And a snarf was a guy who sniffed the seats of girls' bicycles.)
-- Kurt Vonnegut, in "A Man Without a Country".
-- Kurt Vonnegut, in "A Man Without a Country".
by Dinkum August 13, 2013
Get the snarf mug.A voluble, involuntary speech impairment that the political animal inflicts upon his hearing audience. When asked for the truth, he invariably responds with bullshit -- i.e., "fartspeak," which is usually not so elevated a form of discourse as to qualify either as "bullshit artistry" or as "spin doctoring."
"This is a guy who does congressional hearings, said Cessy. "I'm surprised he's letting it get under his skin."
"It's because he's lying," said Reuben.
"Oh, come on. Like they {{ the military brass }} don't lie to Congress."
"They {{ these military asshats }} spin to Congress."
"Well, he's spinning this, too, isn't he? 'I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding.' That's FARTSPEAK for 'I said it, you jerk, but you weren't supposed to tell.'"
"'Fartspeak'?"
"That's what we called it on the hill {{ Capitol Hill }}, said Cessy.
-- Orson Scott Card,
in "Empire", Chapter 10 -- "Fair and Balanced",
on page 140.
"It's because he's lying," said Reuben.
"Oh, come on. Like they {{ the military brass }} don't lie to Congress."
"They {{ these military asshats }} spin to Congress."
"Well, he's spinning this, too, isn't he? 'I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding.' That's FARTSPEAK for 'I said it, you jerk, but you weren't supposed to tell.'"
"'Fartspeak'?"
"That's what we called it on the hill {{ Capitol Hill }}, said Cessy.
-- Orson Scott Card,
in "Empire", Chapter 10 -- "Fair and Balanced",
on page 140.
by Dinkum July 01, 2013
Get the fartspeak mug.EXAMPLE:
' My penis was three inches long and five inches in diameter. Its diameter was a world's record as far as I knew. It slumbered now in my Jockey Shorts. '
--- 1973. KURT VONNEGUT. "Breakfast of Champions, or, Goodbye Blue Monday." Epilogue (Page 284).
' My penis was three inches long and five inches in diameter. Its diameter was a world's record as far as I knew. It slumbered now in my Jockey Shorts. '
--- 1973. KURT VONNEGUT. "Breakfast of Champions, or, Goodbye Blue Monday." Epilogue (Page 284).
by Dinkum January 19, 2014
Get the Jockey Shorts mug.' The clitoris is the sweet spot of the entire female apparatus. The jewel of the Nile! So threatening is the mighty clitoris that it must be relegated to a backseat to the vagina in a play that has nothing to do with female parts! The vagina is nothing more than a baby-making tube that has nothing to do with real sexual pleasure in a woman! '
--- 2012. Roseanne Barr. "Roseannearchy: Dispatches from the Nut Farm." (Page 126).
--- 2012. Roseanne Barr. "Roseannearchy: Dispatches from the Nut Farm." (Page 126).
EXAMPLE:
' She was always doing loyal things like that, always rooting for her man, always rooting for Dwayne.
' And Dwayne tried to reciprocate in little ways. For instance, he had been reading articles and books on sexual intercourse recently. There was a sexual revolution going on in the country, and women were demanding that men pay more attention to women's pleasure during sexual intercourse, and not just think of themselves. The key to their pleasure, they said, and scientists backed them up, was the clitoris, a tiny meat cylinder which was right above the hole in women where men were supposed to stick their much larger cylinders.
' Men were supposed to pay more attention to the clitoris, and Dwayne had been paying a lot more attention to Francine's, to the point where she said he was paying too much attention to it. This did not surprise him. The things he had read about the clitoris had said that this was a danger---that a man could pay too much attention to it.
' So, driving out to the Quality Motor Court that day, Dwayne was hoping that he would pay exactly the right amount of attention to Francine's clitoris. '
--- 1973. KURT VONNEGUT. "Breakfast of Champions, or, Goodbye Blue Monday." Chapter 15 (Pages 150 - 151).
' She was always doing loyal things like that, always rooting for her man, always rooting for Dwayne.
' And Dwayne tried to reciprocate in little ways. For instance, he had been reading articles and books on sexual intercourse recently. There was a sexual revolution going on in the country, and women were demanding that men pay more attention to women's pleasure during sexual intercourse, and not just think of themselves. The key to their pleasure, they said, and scientists backed them up, was the clitoris, a tiny meat cylinder which was right above the hole in women where men were supposed to stick their much larger cylinders.
' Men were supposed to pay more attention to the clitoris, and Dwayne had been paying a lot more attention to Francine's, to the point where she said he was paying too much attention to it. This did not surprise him. The things he had read about the clitoris had said that this was a danger---that a man could pay too much attention to it.
' So, driving out to the Quality Motor Court that day, Dwayne was hoping that he would pay exactly the right amount of attention to Francine's clitoris. '
--- 1973. KURT VONNEGUT. "Breakfast of Champions, or, Goodbye Blue Monday." Chapter 15 (Pages 150 - 151).
by Dinkum March 04, 2014
Get the clitoris mug.