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Des Lynam's Love-Gland's definitions

Briggsy Cockfighting

A depraved sport enjoyed by bohemian arty types. The participants strip off and stand facing each other. On the referee's word they "engage" their genitalia and commence a sickening battle of diseased phalluses. The depraved spectators roar their approval of every thrust and slap, quaffing champagne throughout the contest. The winner is determined after one hour of cockmanship by 3 judges who award points for artistry, scabbiness, and blood-drawing. The winner enjoys a golden shower from all present and gets to bugger the referee's spaniel. The sport was named after Briggsy, the world's greatest arty bender, who invented it whilst celebrating winning the Turner Prize for his sculpture of a gorilla fucking a shark to death.
I'm in the mood for more entertainment after last night's Briggsy Fishing, Cedric.

Me too, Percy. I think its time for some Briggsy Cockfighting.
by des lynam's love-gland August 4, 2009
mugGet the Briggsy Cockfightingmug.

Briggsy Gangsta

A pretentious artist who thinks he is a gangsta because he knows who to buy cannabis from and because he once used a crack cocaine suppository.
Why is that arty fellow limping like that?

He's got a rectumful of crack suppositories.

Aah I see, a Briggsy Gangsta!
by Des Lynam's Love-Gland September 20, 2006
mugGet the Briggsy Gangstamug.

Briggsy's Diversity Policy

Belief held by an individual belonging to several dozen minority groups that he should be treated as a superior being. Otherwise known as "a chip on each shoulder and three on the hunchback".
If I want to take the piss out of that ugly, disabled, blind, black lesbian with two fannies and three arseholes then I will.

Yeah, who gives a fuck about Briggsy's Diversity Policy?
by Des Lynam's Love-Gland September 22, 2006
mugGet the Briggsy's Diversity Policymug.

Grand Theft Briggsy

Name given to the current trend among arty types of shoplifting bondage equipment and dildos from sex shops. The stolen goods are then used in homemade porno films, a copy of which is sent to the manager of the shop in question.
Sex shop manager: Watch that little shit, Bertha. Looks an arty type. Probably here to commit Grand Theft Briggsy.
by Des Lynam's Love-Gland September 8, 2006
mugGet the Grand Theft Briggsymug.

whale surfing

Metaphor for when a midget porks a humungous woman, normally in the early hours after a drinking bout at a night club.
Look at the state of Briggsy. Has he been Whale Surfing again?
by Des Lynam's Love-Gland September 5, 2006
mugGet the whale surfingmug.

briggsysexual

Used to describe someone who has heterosexual inclinations but practices homosexuality in order to fit in with their arty friends.
Oi arty dwarf boy. I saw you gobbling that artist outside the club the other night. Didn't know you were gay.

Oh I'm not gay, I'm Briggsysexual. I only suck cocks because it makes me look oh so boho.
by Des Lynam's Love-Gland August 22, 2006
mugGet the briggsysexualmug.

Briggsy Bonus

When a homosexual is doing his lover and then crams one or both of his testicles in as well. This is known as a Briggsy Bonus. Named after its originator who has been known to pleasure trannies in this way.
Trannie 1: I never knew what "stretched" meant until last night.

Trannie 2: So you got a Briggsy Bonus then?

Trannie 1: Yeah, by Briggsy himself.
by Des Lynam's Love-Gland September 8, 2006
mugGet the Briggsy Bonusmug.

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