10. Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk".
9. The school principal has your number on speed-dial.
8. The cat is on Valium.
7. People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth.
6. You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaffeinated.
5. The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.
4. No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners.
3. "Family meetings" are often mediated by law enforcement officials.
2. You have to check your kid's day-timer to see if he can take out the trash.
1. Maxwell House gives you industrial rates.
9. The school principal has your number on speed-dial.
8. The cat is on Valium.
7. People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth.
6. You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaffeinated.
5. The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.
4. No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners.
3. "Family meetings" are often mediated by law enforcement officials.
2. You have to check your kid's day-timer to see if he can take out the trash.
1. Maxwell House gives you industrial rates.
person1: i think my family is stressed
person2: do they have time to wait for a microwave dinner
person1: ur right then
person2: why
person1: got it from this list called top 10 signs your family is stressed
person2: do they have time to wait for a microwave dinner
person1: ur right then
person2: why
person1: got it from this list called top 10 signs your family is stressed
by DJ SPYKERZ(SCOUSED OUT) June 23, 2009
Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
by DJ SPYKERZ(SCOUSED OUT) June 20, 2009
There was this lady and she really wanted to have sex, but she was to scared to ask her husband so she went to a jipsy and told her her problem. The jipsy rummaged around in a chest and pulled out a pickle jar with a penis in it, and said "All you have to do is open the jar and say 'Pickle penis my vagina' and it will start having sex with you". So later she tries out the pickle penis and it works great. That is until her husband walks in and he shouts "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT" and the woman says "It's a pickled penis" Unfortunately her husband replied "PICKLE PENIS MY ASS"
person1: hey u heard about this pickled penis story
person2: no
person1: (reads it out)
person2: lol man got fucked in the ass
person1: apperently ye
person2: no
person1: (reads it out)
person2: lol man got fucked in the ass
person1: apperently ye
by DJ SPYKERZ(SCOUSED OUT) June 24, 2009
all vegans are freaks, they make us eat salad and shit like that just so they can keep a few animals, most people like to wave steak under their noses to keep them away
by DJ SPYKERZ(SCOUSED OUT) June 19, 2009
a nickname u would call someone who is constantly saying lol in a sentence some who can't stop laughing
or
someone who uses the word lol far too many times
which brings up the point, can lol be overused??
or
someone who uses the word lol far too many times
which brings up the point, can lol be overused??
my m8 is a lolaholic
by DJ SPYKERZ(SCOUSED OUT) November 29, 2009
(britains government) can't run our country right, lent a lot of money 2 sum mexicans who can't pay it back and the whole country is in deep shit, house prices are going down and thousands of homes have been repossed, it's probably going 2 get 2 the point where everyone is living on the streets like hobos then whats the government going 2 do
person1: the government sucks, they are retards 4 lending that much money
person2: damm right ive lost my job because of money issues
person1: we will get them some day
person2: damm right ive lost my job because of money issues
person1: we will get them some day
by DJ SPYKERZ(SCOUSED OUT) July 22, 2009
the best country in the world came 4th in the 08 olymipics and only countrys that were like 1000 times bigger beat them, yep thats right britain is very small but still kicks every other countrys ass, and unlike americans we can actually walk properly. our weather is quite shit but that is what makes britain the toughest country ever. the defintion of britain: THE BEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD, BRITAIN RULES AND THERES NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT :P
brit: Britain rules :)
brit 2: hell ye
brit: we deserve our recognition as a powerfull country, we have fought countless wars and weve come thru better off each time
brit 2: go britain!!!
brit 2: hell ye
brit: we deserve our recognition as a powerfull country, we have fought countless wars and weve come thru better off each time
brit 2: go britain!!!
by DJ SPYKERZ(SCOUSED OUT) July 15, 2009