Colonel Turdburglar's definitions

fudge smudge

The remnants of a horrible anal eruption, usually found on the back of the afflicted one's underwear.

"I found some corn lodged deep in the fudge smudge that was left after I farted. Very queer I say, very queer indeed."

by Colonel Turdburglar September 6, 2005

balls across the nose

Totally freaking awesome.

"Dude, that movie "K-PAX" was balls across the nose!"

by Colonel Turdburglar August 12, 2005

vom bomb

The highly acidic discharge that is ejected in the act of vomiting.

"I almost dropped a vom bomb the first time I ever smelled a woman's fart."

by Colonel Turdburglar August 14, 2005

meat bat

A large, floppy dong.

"As I turned my Meat Bat toward Polaris,
A Ray of Light shone down on It from the Heavens,
As if the Gods themselves were in awe of It's large, bulbous nature.
It was still glistening from her Juices,
And pulsating in anticipation of the next Encounter.
And I thought to myself,
All is Good, all is Good."
(Translated from an ancient Aramaic text, thought to have been written circa 600 B.C.)

by Colonel Turdburglar September 25, 2005

clam digger

A woman who is constantly scratching her dirty stinkhole due to a case of chronic persistent chlamydia. Unclean women who are promiscuous are generally at a high risk, including prostitutes, tunabitches, Paris Hilton, and other pickle ticklers.

"Damn dude, I can smell that clam digger's musky emanation, and I think I'm gonna drop a vom bomb. Damn!"

by Colonel Turdburglar August 14, 2005

Pubis Maximus

A medical term, from the Latin meaning "massive, uncontrolled hair growth, usually limited to the Nether regions and gooch area, but sometimes found to extend up to the lower or mid-abdomen."

Her Pubis Maximus was as dense and moist as a South Vietnamese jungle; nevertheless, I went down on her like a champ and gave her a furious tongue lashing. Sacre Bleu!

by Colonel Turdburglar September 25, 2005

crack 'n sniff

The ultimate defense in the game of basketball. As an offensive player goes to make a shot, a defensive player reaches down the back of his shorts and gets a finger load of some juicy buttsauce and slathers a dollop across the upper lip of the one taking a shot, resulting in something similar to a dirty sanchez. The slathered one then begins to vomit profusely and with great vigor, rendering him ineffective for the next several minutes.

"She gave that other player a crack 'n sniff so juicy and smelly that she started to cry."

by Colonel Turdburglar September 6, 2005