66 definitions by Charlemagne1993
Common contraction of Western Australia, an Australian state. (See also: greatest Australian state.)
Also what Western Australia would be called if it seceded from the (markedly less-awesome) eastern states.
Also what Western Australia would be called if it seceded from the (markedly less-awesome) eastern states.
1.
"Westralia- quite possibly the greatest of all Australian states! Certainly a damn sight better than Tasmania, and at least it's not Queensland!"
2.
Westralian secessionist: "Secede, fellow Westralians! Recognition of the 1933 referendum's result! Off with the yoke of federal government oppression! No more being held to ransom by over-taxing dickheads in the East! Westralia for Westralians!"
Normal Westralian: "… Literally no one with a brain thinks an independent Westralia could be a good idea, you sound like a bloody Confederate flag-waving redneck from the US!"
"Westralia- quite possibly the greatest of all Australian states! Certainly a damn sight better than Tasmania, and at least it's not Queensland!"
2.
Westralian secessionist: "Secede, fellow Westralians! Recognition of the 1933 referendum's result! Off with the yoke of federal government oppression! No more being held to ransom by over-taxing dickheads in the East! Westralia for Westralians!"
Normal Westralian: "… Literally no one with a brain thinks an independent Westralia could be a good idea, you sound like a bloody Confederate flag-waving redneck from the US!"
by Charlemagne1993 August 26, 2016
A gracious and pleasant young woman with refined tastes and a high degree of class. An accomplished individual who has knowledge that spans a significant number of subjects, the taste to choose her clothes and furnishings carefully, and who has a particular interest in and aptitude for writing and photography. Lauren is someone who enjoys board games with her friends and listening to hits from the 80s, and who doesn't get shitty when people make repeated unflattering reference to her ginger complexion. She is, in short, the kind of person many would be happy to know and call a friend or partner.
Or so you might think, meeting her for the first time. Use your Astounding Powers of Observation to see through her cunningly cultivated exterior, however, and the truth about Lauren turns out to be entirely different.
Lauren is in fact, despite her conservative garb and the innocent appearance she cultivates, an Evil and Depraved Person. She is also, almost certainly, a Witch. Beneath her pale, fragile exterior lurks a sinister soul that loves playing Bananagrams with her friends, harbours a twisted appreciation for Bob Ross, and possesses an unironic fondness for cats. She probably occupies her time casting spells on people and, if chucked in a lake, would probably float like a duck.
Hence Lauren is, all things told, in fact an Evil Nefarious Being. Everyone else has it wrong about her. Avoid Lauren if you're not someone who's providentially resistant to her charms and spells!
Or so you might think, meeting her for the first time. Use your Astounding Powers of Observation to see through her cunningly cultivated exterior, however, and the truth about Lauren turns out to be entirely different.
Lauren is in fact, despite her conservative garb and the innocent appearance she cultivates, an Evil and Depraved Person. She is also, almost certainly, a Witch. Beneath her pale, fragile exterior lurks a sinister soul that loves playing Bananagrams with her friends, harbours a twisted appreciation for Bob Ross, and possesses an unironic fondness for cats. She probably occupies her time casting spells on people and, if chucked in a lake, would probably float like a duck.
Hence Lauren is, all things told, in fact an Evil Nefarious Being. Everyone else has it wrong about her. Avoid Lauren if you're not someone who's providentially resistant to her charms and spells!
1.
A: Hey Charles, was really sorry to hear you've not been able to find any work and that your car and belongings have been repossessed- are you alright?
B: No need to pretend to care, Lauren. No one else does, and at any rate I don't care what others think. I know thee for what thou truly art, false-hearted enchantress!
A: ... Ok wait, wha-
B: WITCH!
2.
A: I get it; I have red hair. But-
B: WITCH!
3.
A: I don't quite see why you think I'm a witch though. Are you quite certain you've taken your medica-
B: Doesn't matter Lauren if I've taken my meds; not relevant. WITCH!
4.
A: Alright Charles, you win. I see there's no deceiving such a skilled observer of the carnival that is life as yourself. I admit it: I am a witch. Tell me, what gave me away?
B: Thou needn't be too hard on thyself, Lauren. People are always saying that I see things that no one else sees. The wart upon thy nose gave thee away
A: Oh. Huh. Indeed. Just one thing though- I, er, don't have a wart on my nose?
B: Look; whatever, Lauren. Inquisiting Discernerer that I am, some things I just know, ok? Good. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've a salamander I need to feed slices of broiled pineapple to, whilst dancing a jig by the fulgent light of the waning gibbous moon. Go thy ways, weird woman. Aroint thee!
A: Hey Charles, was really sorry to hear you've not been able to find any work and that your car and belongings have been repossessed- are you alright?
B: No need to pretend to care, Lauren. No one else does, and at any rate I don't care what others think. I know thee for what thou truly art, false-hearted enchantress!
A: ... Ok wait, wha-
B: WITCH!
2.
A: I get it; I have red hair. But-
B: WITCH!
3.
A: I don't quite see why you think I'm a witch though. Are you quite certain you've taken your medica-
B: Doesn't matter Lauren if I've taken my meds; not relevant. WITCH!
4.
A: Alright Charles, you win. I see there's no deceiving such a skilled observer of the carnival that is life as yourself. I admit it: I am a witch. Tell me, what gave me away?
B: Thou needn't be too hard on thyself, Lauren. People are always saying that I see things that no one else sees. The wart upon thy nose gave thee away
A: Oh. Huh. Indeed. Just one thing though- I, er, don't have a wart on my nose?
B: Look; whatever, Lauren. Inquisiting Discernerer that I am, some things I just know, ok? Good. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've a salamander I need to feed slices of broiled pineapple to, whilst dancing a jig by the fulgent light of the waning gibbous moon. Go thy ways, weird woman. Aroint thee!
by Charlemagne1993 August 21, 2020
1. The Supreme Master of Beans.
2. (In science fiction) A member of the fifth caste of the Beanoid species, a race of giant sentient bipedal extraterrestrial bean beings. Beanmasters form a ruling elite over the other castes that make up the bulk of the Beanoid population and their directions shape and steer the course the Beanoid Empire takes in its dealings with other sentient species.
2. (In science fiction) A member of the fifth caste of the Beanoid species, a race of giant sentient bipedal extraterrestrial bean beings. Beanmasters form a ruling elite over the other castes that make up the bulk of the Beanoid population and their directions shape and steer the course the Beanoid Empire takes in its dealings with other sentient species.
All hail Beanmaster Charles- Supreme Master of The Beans!
"… And so it came to pass in the 5,988th year of the Galactic Era that the Beanmasters united the quarreling factions of the Beanoids, and set them on the path to forging what would in time become the formidable Beanoid Empire: the Federation's direst foe."
~Extract from The Official History of the Bean Wars: Volume I
"… And so it came to pass in the 5,988th year of the Galactic Era that the Beanmasters united the quarreling factions of the Beanoids, and set them on the path to forging what would in time become the formidable Beanoid Empire: the Federation's direst foe."
~Extract from The Official History of the Bean Wars: Volume I
by Charlemagne1993 October 5, 2017
- Noun
A person who suffers from turophobia- the misguided, supremely irrational fear of cheese.
See also: weirdo, miscreant, philistine.
A person who suffers from turophobia- the misguided, supremely irrational fear of cheese.
See also: weirdo, miscreant, philistine.
1.
A: I'm a turophobe. I despise cheese
B: So, in other words, you basically despise life?
A: ... Pretty much, yes
B: Righto
2.
A: That Michael person that we happened across earlier, Jevons: now there's a worthless depressive wretch, if I ever saw one. There's a creature that makes you feel that evolution gets it badly wrong at times. Tell me, have you ever come across a more pitiful, poor excuse for a human being than he?
B: Possibly the creature, as you describe him, sir, is more to be pitied than censured. The man is a turophobe; he has an aversion to cheese. One can only conjecture at the damage this has done to his psyche
A: Indeed? I daresay. Still, this changes little: I want never to be inflicted with so much as mere mention of the blighter ever again. I can't be having with that sort of reprobate; I'm sure there's very few who can
B: Very good, sir
A: I'm a turophobe. I despise cheese
B: So, in other words, you basically despise life?
A: ... Pretty much, yes
B: Righto
2.
A: That Michael person that we happened across earlier, Jevons: now there's a worthless depressive wretch, if I ever saw one. There's a creature that makes you feel that evolution gets it badly wrong at times. Tell me, have you ever come across a more pitiful, poor excuse for a human being than he?
B: Possibly the creature, as you describe him, sir, is more to be pitied than censured. The man is a turophobe; he has an aversion to cheese. One can only conjecture at the damage this has done to his psyche
A: Indeed? I daresay. Still, this changes little: I want never to be inflicted with so much as mere mention of the blighter ever again. I can't be having with that sort of reprobate; I'm sure there's very few who can
B: Very good, sir
by Charlemagne1993 November 19, 2019
A term used by residents of Perth, Western Australia to describe the phenomenon, often experienced by Perthians abroad, of Perthians not only managing (however improbably) to come across fellow Perthians overseas, but also of them always finding that these co-urbanites are either a) their relatives, b) their acquaintances, or (at the very least) c) people with whom they share multiple mutual friends on Facebook. This oft-described experience abroad (of "being/getting Perth'd") is the result of Perth being an oversized village, of everyone there having a desire and tendency to piss off abroad whenever they get the chance, and of the two degrees of separation that somehow exists for the city's residents.
1.
<On a remote island in the Tierra del Fuego archipelago>
G’day! First person I’ve seen in a week!
Mate I know you, it’s me, your cousin Davo!
Strike a light, so it is! No getting away from some people ay, Perth'd again!
Still up for beers this Sunday arvo yeah?
Yeah mate
See ya then
2.
Yet another fellow Aussie here in the Siberian wilderness! I'm from Perth mate, yourself?
Same same actually
Ah yeah? Was there only a few days ago actually, partying it up on Scabs beach with some sheila called Emily
Emily's my sister, guess that'd make you that William I've heard so much about?
Perth'd mate, you got it in one
Fucking Perth
<On a remote island in the Tierra del Fuego archipelago>
G’day! First person I’ve seen in a week!
Mate I know you, it’s me, your cousin Davo!
Strike a light, so it is! No getting away from some people ay, Perth'd again!
Still up for beers this Sunday arvo yeah?
Yeah mate
See ya then
2.
Yet another fellow Aussie here in the Siberian wilderness! I'm from Perth mate, yourself?
Same same actually
Ah yeah? Was there only a few days ago actually, partying it up on Scabs beach with some sheila called Emily
Emily's my sister, guess that'd make you that William I've heard so much about?
Perth'd mate, you got it in one
Fucking Perth
by Charlemagne1993 July 29, 2016
- Adjective
Having bean characteristics or form; resembling a bean.
- Noun
1. Anything that resembles or evokes comparisons with a bean.
2. (In science fiction) Any individual of the race of giant sentient bipedal extraterrestrial bean beings.
Having bean characteristics or form; resembling a bean.
- Noun
1. Anything that resembles or evokes comparisons with a bean.
2. (In science fiction) Any individual of the race of giant sentient bipedal extraterrestrial bean beings.
I say, what a beanoid appearance that fellow has!
Much to his annoyance, Tom's short ungainly stature meant he was often termed a beanoid by his friends and associates
Beanoid frigate inbound! Action stations men, gunners to the starboard turrets!
Much to his annoyance, Tom's short ungainly stature meant he was often termed a beanoid by his friends and associates
Beanoid frigate inbound! Action stations men, gunners to the starboard turrets!
by Charlemagne1993 February 28, 2017
Thea is a smart, athletic, popular girl whom just about every man admires and every woman probably wants to be like.
But for three notable flaws in her character (an inability to maintain a kitchen to acceptable levels of hygiene and general cleanliness, a disinclination to talk at length about trains, and an apparent willingness to date men who are probably beneath her) she would unquestionably be #girlfriendgoals to the max.
But for three notable flaws in her character (an inability to maintain a kitchen to acceptable levels of hygiene and general cleanliness, a disinclination to talk at length about trains, and an apparent willingness to date men who are probably beneath her) she would unquestionably be #girlfriendgoals to the max.
Girlfriend: I'm not jealous... but should I be jealous of that woman?
Boyfriend: Yeah not going to lie, you probably should be to be honest
Girlfriend: Yeah, fair call
Bloke 1: Mate who was that cool girl you were just talking to?!
Bloke 2: Ah yeah, that was Thea, the one I was telling you about who explicitly told me she doesn't care that much for trains
Bloke 1: True? Too bad ay, it's a damn shame
Bloke 2: Fucken oath it is
Boyfriend: Yeah not going to lie, you probably should be to be honest
Girlfriend: Yeah, fair call
Bloke 1: Mate who was that cool girl you were just talking to?!
Bloke 2: Ah yeah, that was Thea, the one I was telling you about who explicitly told me she doesn't care that much for trains
Bloke 1: True? Too bad ay, it's a damn shame
Bloke 2: Fucken oath it is
by Charlemagne1993 September 1, 2018