Charlemagne1993's definitions
A modern-day warrior woman of the Amazonian mold. A real-life Wonder Woman, if Wonder Woman were a whole lot more jacked and physically intimidating, blithely wilful and outgoing, and dissolute and licentious. Jenna is essentially law unto herself; a force of nature who speaks her mind, does who and what she pleases, and whom nobody can exert the least amount of control over.
Jenna is a gladiatorial individual who slays at everything she turns her hand to in life. Her dependency (?) on drinking and heroin (amongst other things which she slams daily) presents no barriers to her succeeding in her high-powered line of work, and nor has it had any apparent impact on her physique, which is Olympian tending towards the Schwarzenegger-y. She brushes off quantities and mixtures of drugs that would kill any common mortal and thinks nothing of raving intensely for weeks on end before abruptly returning to work early on a Monday. She is openly disdainful of 'weak' individuals such as Bear Grylls and Johnny Sins and, to satiate her needs, which are ample, goes through ('uses') batches of such people ('objects') on a weekly basis in a process that invariably leaves these people crushed and broken (and often also, somewhat unaccountably in the case of biological males, pregnant).
Consider yourself warned: where Jenna goes, destruction, despair and pregnancies- both male and female- follow.
Jenna is a gladiatorial individual who slays at everything she turns her hand to in life. Her dependency (?) on drinking and heroin (amongst other things which she slams daily) presents no barriers to her succeeding in her high-powered line of work, and nor has it had any apparent impact on her physique, which is Olympian tending towards the Schwarzenegger-y. She brushes off quantities and mixtures of drugs that would kill any common mortal and thinks nothing of raving intensely for weeks on end before abruptly returning to work early on a Monday. She is openly disdainful of 'weak' individuals such as Bear Grylls and Johnny Sins and, to satiate her needs, which are ample, goes through ('uses') batches of such people ('objects') on a weekly basis in a process that invariably leaves these people crushed and broken (and often also, somewhat unaccountably in the case of biological males, pregnant).
Consider yourself warned: where Jenna goes, destruction, despair and pregnancies- both male and female- follow.
1.
Jenna: <Forcefully slams shot-glass down> NOW, IS THERE ANYONE ELSE HERE AT THIS BAR WHO THINKS THEY'RE MAN ENOUGH THAT THEY CAN DRINK ME UNDER THE TABLE?
Entire bar: <Collectively groaning/whimpering> ... Please don't hurt any of us
2.
A: Barely recognised our boy Floyd Mayweather just before. Did he somehow age thirty years and become pregnant in the last week?!
B: He had a run-in with Jenna I'm afraid. Poor bastard
A: Sweet mother of God
Jenna: <Forcefully slams shot-glass down> NOW, IS THERE ANYONE ELSE HERE AT THIS BAR WHO THINKS THEY'RE MAN ENOUGH THAT THEY CAN DRINK ME UNDER THE TABLE?
Entire bar: <Collectively groaning/whimpering> ... Please don't hurt any of us
2.
A: Barely recognised our boy Floyd Mayweather just before. Did he somehow age thirty years and become pregnant in the last week?!
B: He had a run-in with Jenna I'm afraid. Poor bastard
A: Sweet mother of God
by Charlemagne1993 August 21, 2020
Get the Jenna mug.A gracious and pleasant young woman with refined tastes and a high degree of class. An accomplished individual who has knowledge that spans a significant number of subjects, the taste to choose her clothes and furnishings carefully, and who has a particular interest in and aptitude for writing and photography. Lauren is someone who enjoys board games with her friends and listening to hits from the 80s, and who doesn't get shitty when people make repeated unflattering reference to her ginger complexion. She is, in short, the kind of person many would be happy to know and call a friend or partner.
Or so you might think, meeting her for the first time. Use your Astounding Powers of Observation to see through her cunningly cultivated exterior, however, and the truth about Lauren turns out to be entirely different.
Lauren is in fact, despite her conservative garb and the innocent appearance she cultivates, an Evil and Depraved Person. She is also, almost certainly, a Witch. Beneath her pale, fragile exterior lurks a sinister soul that loves playing Bananagrams with her friends, harbours a twisted appreciation for Bob Ross, and possesses an unironic fondness for cats. She probably occupies her time casting spells on people and, if chucked in a lake, would probably float like a duck.
Hence Lauren is, all things told, in fact an Evil Nefarious Being. Everyone else has it wrong about her. Avoid Lauren if you're not someone who's providentially resistant to her charms and spells!
Or so you might think, meeting her for the first time. Use your Astounding Powers of Observation to see through her cunningly cultivated exterior, however, and the truth about Lauren turns out to be entirely different.
Lauren is in fact, despite her conservative garb and the innocent appearance she cultivates, an Evil and Depraved Person. She is also, almost certainly, a Witch. Beneath her pale, fragile exterior lurks a sinister soul that loves playing Bananagrams with her friends, harbours a twisted appreciation for Bob Ross, and possesses an unironic fondness for cats. She probably occupies her time casting spells on people and, if chucked in a lake, would probably float like a duck.
Hence Lauren is, all things told, in fact an Evil Nefarious Being. Everyone else has it wrong about her. Avoid Lauren if you're not someone who's providentially resistant to her charms and spells!
1.
A: Hey Charles, was really sorry to hear you've not been able to find any work and that your car and belongings have been repossessed- are you alright?
B: No need to pretend to care, Lauren. No one else does, and at any rate I don't care what others think. I know thee for what thou truly art, false-hearted enchantress!
A: ... Ok wait, wha-
B: WITCH!
2.
A: I get it; I have red hair. But-
B: WITCH!
3.
A: I don't quite see why you think I'm a witch though. Are you quite certain you've taken your medica-
B: Doesn't matter Lauren if I've taken my meds; not relevant. WITCH!
4.
A: Alright Charles, you win. I see there's no deceiving such a skilled observer of the carnival that is life as yourself. I admit it: I am a witch. Tell me, what gave me away?
B: Thou needn't be too hard on thyself, Lauren. People are always saying that I see things that no one else sees. The wart upon thy nose gave thee away
A: Oh. Huh. Indeed. Just one thing though- I, er, don't have a wart on my nose?
B: Look; whatever, Lauren. Inquisiting Discernerer that I am, some things I just know, ok? Good. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've a salamander I need to feed slices of broiled pineapple to, whilst dancing a jig by the fulgent light of the waning gibbous moon. Go thy ways, weird woman. Aroint thee!
A: Hey Charles, was really sorry to hear you've not been able to find any work and that your car and belongings have been repossessed- are you alright?
B: No need to pretend to care, Lauren. No one else does, and at any rate I don't care what others think. I know thee for what thou truly art, false-hearted enchantress!
A: ... Ok wait, wha-
B: WITCH!
2.
A: I get it; I have red hair. But-
B: WITCH!
3.
A: I don't quite see why you think I'm a witch though. Are you quite certain you've taken your medica-
B: Doesn't matter Lauren if I've taken my meds; not relevant. WITCH!
4.
A: Alright Charles, you win. I see there's no deceiving such a skilled observer of the carnival that is life as yourself. I admit it: I am a witch. Tell me, what gave me away?
B: Thou needn't be too hard on thyself, Lauren. People are always saying that I see things that no one else sees. The wart upon thy nose gave thee away
A: Oh. Huh. Indeed. Just one thing though- I, er, don't have a wart on my nose?
B: Look; whatever, Lauren. Inquisiting Discernerer that I am, some things I just know, ok? Good. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've a salamander I need to feed slices of broiled pineapple to, whilst dancing a jig by the fulgent light of the waning gibbous moon. Go thy ways, weird woman. Aroint thee!
by Charlemagne1993 August 20, 2020
Get the Lauren mug.The faeciform appearance of the chocolate bar floating in the public pool did much to offend the swimmers, even after their immediate fears relating to its precise nature had been allayed
Excluding his cherished refrigerator box, and some sheets of old newspaper, the few other things Michael seems to count as his 'possessions' are all thoroughly faeciform in appearance for a very simple and sobering reason
Tom did not in general cut an altogether pleasant figure, whether in terms of appearance or personality. Charitable individuals upon being confronted with the individual were apt to liken his features to a faeciform sack of potatoes
Excluding his cherished refrigerator box, and some sheets of old newspaper, the few other things Michael seems to count as his 'possessions' are all thoroughly faeciform in appearance for a very simple and sobering reason
Tom did not in general cut an altogether pleasant figure, whether in terms of appearance or personality. Charitable individuals upon being confronted with the individual were apt to liken his features to a faeciform sack of potatoes
by Charlemagne1993 July 16, 2020
Get the Faeciform mug.- Adjective {RANG-ger-ree}
A variation of the internet slang term 'angery', specifically used to describe angry/angery individuals who are also rangas (redheads; gingers). Usually used in the context of rangas responding badly (or ostensibly so) to conversations relating to red hair-related topics such as melanin levels, sensitivity to UV light, temperament, pyromania or sexual desirability.
- Noun
Anger (whether real or purported) as manifested by rangas, particularly in relation to red hair-related topics.
A variation of the internet slang term 'angery', specifically used to describe angry/angery individuals who are also rangas (redheads; gingers). Usually used in the context of rangas responding badly (or ostensibly so) to conversations relating to red hair-related topics such as melanin levels, sensitivity to UV light, temperament, pyromania or sexual desirability.
- Noun
Anger (whether real or purported) as manifested by rangas, particularly in relation to red hair-related topics.
1.
To say that Charles was merely rangery at Jason's continual gibes about his general desirability and his susceptibility to sunburn would be to put things mildy. He was incensed
2.
Like a lot of rangas, Lauren lived in a near-perpetual state of rangery
To say that Charles was merely rangery at Jason's continual gibes about his general desirability and his susceptibility to sunburn would be to put things mildy. He was incensed
2.
Like a lot of rangas, Lauren lived in a near-perpetual state of rangery
by Charlemagne1993 July 3, 2020
Get the Rangery mug.- Adjective
Adapted to feeding on shit; shit-eating; scatophagous.
Habitually feeding on dung or excrement, whether literally or figuratively.
Adapted to feeding on shit; shit-eating; scatophagous.
Habitually feeding on dung or excrement, whether literally or figuratively.
Two years on from accepting Michael as his patient and Jason was still no closer to establishing whether his patient's scativorous tendencies stemmed from a genuine preference for eating excrement, or a deep-seated desire simply to revolt others as much as possible. Jason was beginning to suspect that they stemmed from some combination of both
Although she was technically vegetarian, so singularly poor were Jenna's tastes when it came to what she ate that many of her associates half-seriously took to describing her as scativorous
Although she was technically vegetarian, so singularly poor were Jenna's tastes when it came to what she ate that many of her associates half-seriously took to describing her as scativorous
by Charlemagne1993 July 2, 2020
Get the Scativorous mug.- Noun {tyoo-ruh-pee-nee-uh}
The thoroughly distressing state or condition of lacking cheese; of being nutritionally deficient in the coagulated dairy department.
Symptoms include shaking, sweating, irritability, and mania. Left untreated, turopenia will lead to death.
{ "Turo-" (Gk. tyros "Cheese") + "-penia" (Gk. penia "Poverty, lack") }
The thoroughly distressing state or condition of lacking cheese; of being nutritionally deficient in the coagulated dairy department.
Symptoms include shaking, sweating, irritability, and mania. Left untreated, turopenia will lead to death.
{ "Turo-" (Gk. tyros "Cheese") + "-penia" (Gk. penia "Poverty, lack") }
Being a pasty white person, and therefore someone particularly prone to manic turopenic episodes, it took a liberal serving of cheddar and two injections of parmesan solution to bring William out of his turopenia. Even then however he had difficulty staying focused and remaining calm
Ultimately it was decided by the group of assembled medical experts that Michael had to be euthanised. So severe was his turopenia, not euthanising him would only have served to needlessly prolong his suffering
Ultimately it was decided by the group of assembled medical experts that Michael had to be euthanised. So severe was his turopenia, not euthanising him would only have served to needlessly prolong his suffering
by Charlemagne1993 July 2, 2020
Get the Turopenia mug.- Adjective
The state of being moderately emotionally affected by something; of being somewhere between underwhelmed and overwhelmed emotionally.
Often used in situations where the emotional effect of a circumstance is tempered by its foreseeability or inevitability.
The state of being moderately emotionally affected by something; of being somewhere between underwhelmed and overwhelmed emotionally.
Often used in situations where the emotional effect of a circumstance is tempered by its foreseeability or inevitability.
Residents in the council estate building who shared a floor with Jenna were semiwhelmed to finally learn that their neighbour had, to fatal results, mixed copious quantities of alcohol with various of her prescription medications
As Michael was semiwhelmed to eventually apprehend, none of the other people at the Work for the Dole centre were at all interested in catching up with him after work, or indeed ever
As Michael was semiwhelmed to eventually apprehend, none of the other people at the Work for the Dole centre were at all interested in catching up with him after work, or indeed ever
by Charlemagne1993 July 2, 2020
Get the Semiwhelmed mug.