check your neck

A warning that you are acting suspiciously like a redneck, and that with a little critical self-evaluation you might save yourself some embarrassment. For instance, if you have always been an alright guy but find yourself coming down with a NASCAR-watching habit and are voting for evangelical Republicans, it's high time to "check your neck."

You: "Supper tonight is o-possum with gravy and freedom fries. Praise Jesus."

Me: "'Freedom fries?' 'o-possum?' Uh, I think you need to check your neck there Bubba!"

by Carl Willis January 18, 2005

where I come from

Cliche phrase. Used as preface for one's remarks about the hardships of his or her life, ostensibly to add validity to the point that follows. Essentially any statement beginning with this phrase can be summarized as follows: "I have had a much harder life than you and hence you are in no position to argue with my point that (blah blah blah)."

"Where I come from, a nigga's rich if he can slang a 20 rock every week. So dontchoo be calling yoself PO', white boah!"

by Carl Willis September 02, 2004

ETS

n. (Educational Testing Service) A white-collar corporate gang in Ewing, New Jersy, headed by Kurt Landgraf. They peddle the SAT and GRE assessment products on the street to vulnerable youths who don't know how to say NO. A greedy parasite that should be eliminated for the betterment of society. See also: Tollbooth on the highway of education.

Those poor students had to pony up $115 to the ETS in order to get admitted to college.

"We da ETS, we be hangin' wif da Kurt-rock, and we be all up in your shit if you don't pay us your protection, FOOL!"

Kurt, I'm gonna bring my posse up on ETS turf and get me a goddamn refund one of these days CHUMP!

by Carl Willis May 21, 2004

creation science

n. A fundamentalist Christian outreach concept, in which the intent is to "debunk" science with the word of scripture. Its most vocal adherents are southern and mid-western U.S. evangelical protestants (see Bible Thumper.) Creation "scientists" try to convince "unsaved" people that the Earth was formed in a Creation that took place at the hands of Almighty God a few thousand years ago, and hope their evidence will convert a few of these "unsaved" people to the faith.

Some key tenets of Creation Science:

--Scientists (the real ones) are going to Hell, where they will burn forever for blasphemy of the Holy Word of God.

--"Evolution" is a scam to trick us into believing that wholesome, white Christians have common ancestry with apes and chimps and (oh no, please no...) black people! Evolution is the Devil's Theory (yes, it is just a theory).

--Hell is real, full of sulfur, and it exists in the center of the Earth. (Most persons on Earth will be summarily cast into this Lake of Fire when we pass away.)

Unfortunately, unlike real scientists, Creation Scientists face a non-existent job market. Most find work in blue-collar manufacturing jobs, or else provide for their families by huntin' sqwirls, 'coons and o-possum. Their hobbies range from watching NASCAR, to whippin' the kids, to attending Klan and CCC rallies. Prrrraise Jesus!

Question: How old is this part of the Grand Canyon?

Scientist: This formation is about five million years old, according to our best uranium-lead dating...

Creation Scientist: Them there canyon ain't no more 'n' maybe 4000 years ole,' and if you done believe otherwise, you're a Hellbound sinner, praise the Lord! Now please op'n' all yawl's Bibles to Genesis, Chapter Six and let us remind ourselves of the word of God...

by Carl Willis December 14, 2004

packing

Adj. (gerundive form, by ellipsis from "to pack heat") Carrying a concealed firearm.

Son, you keep away from dat nigga Rakwan, you heah me? The foo' be packin' and he might just up and cap yo trash-talkin' ass one these days!

by Carl Willis August 24, 2004

wendy's

n. Fast food chain which cooks up a damn tasty bowl of chili.

If you're too much of a pansy for the "traditional" recipe, you can request that your chili be served without severed human appendages.

Cashier: Hello, welcome to Wendy's, what can we get for you?

Customer: I'll have a large bowl of chili, supersize that please, and uh...can you please hold the fingers and toes in that order, ma'am?

by Carl Willis March 27, 2005

pops

n. One's father.

DaLonte, whatup holmes! I saw yo pops be hustlin' crack up on Fifth and Lee, so he musta got his ass paroled or somethin'.

You gonna hafta take dat shit up wif Pops, 'cause girl, I sho-as-hell don't give a damn!

by Carl Willis April 30, 2004