Definitions by Carl Willis
neckitude
n. The propensity to exhibit attitudes, behaviors, or mannerisms associated with the common redneck(Ignoramus americanus).
"On the drive over here, a trucker on the Interstate hurled a beer can full of urine out his window--talk about sheer neckitude!"
"Crikey, this breeding-age male specimen is just bristling with neckitude kids! You can tell just by looking that he was born and raised in West Texas, attends a Creationist Baptist church, and voted for Dubya. The plumage is another feature we should not ignore: note the mullet and the Confederate battle flag on his trucker hat. Awwww, I think th' bloody brute's got a shotgun! Let's get away before he tries to defend his territory."
"Crikey, this breeding-age male specimen is just bristling with neckitude kids! You can tell just by looking that he was born and raised in West Texas, attends a Creationist Baptist church, and voted for Dubya. The plumage is another feature we should not ignore: note the mullet and the Confederate battle flag on his trucker hat. Awwww, I think th' bloody brute's got a shotgun! Let's get away before he tries to defend his territory."
neckitude by Carl Willis December 12, 2005
get your shit in one sock
v. To "get your shit in one sock" means to get organized, to "pull yourself together," to regain your composure. Having to use more than one sock to hold a given volume of feces is considered wasteful and inefficient, if by careful planning a single sock would do the trick. Thus, the essence of this phrase is a metaphor for thriftiness.
"Listen: you've been absent from class five days, you never turn in your homework on time, you refuse to take your Ritalin like a good boy, and your foul language is out of control! It is time to sit down one-on-one with the guidance counselor and get your shit in one sock, young man."
get your shit in one sock by Carl Willis November 7, 2005
I'ma
Contraction of "I'm gonna," itself a contraction of "I am going to." A common element in Ebonics dialogue.
I'ma by Carl Willis October 31, 2005
redneck truck
n. A large American pickup truck owned and driven by an ignorant male redneck. Such a truck will have one or more of the following characteristics:
(1) Is used primarily for general personal transportation and not for heavy hauling.
(2) Equipped with a gun rack
(3) Bears red-white-blue ribbon stickers, yellow "God Bless the Troops" ribbon stickers, Confederate battle flag stickers, pissing Calvin, or other stickers such as "God Bless America," the NRA, George W. Bush, "Death to Faggots, Ragheads" and similar Christian themes, etc. May be adorned with a Jesus fish, although this symbol is more frequently associated with the soccer mom's minivan or SUV.
(4) Driven aggressively and in a manner overtly hostile to non-redneck vehicles.
(5) Equipped with prominent CB antennas or, increasingly, amateur radio antennas.
(6) Is the redneck's most prized possession, after his woman. Even his home has lesser personal and monetary value. The 'neck will take great pains to wash and wax his truck.
(7) Psychologists agree that perceived penile inadequacy motivates the purchasing and flaunting of this truck. The driver often seeks to affirm his masculinity by driving the gas-guzzling vehicle as often as possible and frequently with no particular reason.
(1) Is used primarily for general personal transportation and not for heavy hauling.
(2) Equipped with a gun rack
(3) Bears red-white-blue ribbon stickers, yellow "God Bless the Troops" ribbon stickers, Confederate battle flag stickers, pissing Calvin, or other stickers such as "God Bless America," the NRA, George W. Bush, "Death to Faggots, Ragheads" and similar Christian themes, etc. May be adorned with a Jesus fish, although this symbol is more frequently associated with the soccer mom's minivan or SUV.
(4) Driven aggressively and in a manner overtly hostile to non-redneck vehicles.
(5) Equipped with prominent CB antennas or, increasingly, amateur radio antennas.
(6) Is the redneck's most prized possession, after his woman. Even his home has lesser personal and monetary value. The 'neck will take great pains to wash and wax his truck.
(7) Psychologists agree that perceived penile inadequacy motivates the purchasing and flaunting of this truck. The driver often seeks to affirm his masculinity by driving the gas-guzzling vehicle as often as possible and frequently with no particular reason.
Every morning, Joe drove his redneck truck to work at the peanut factory, and every evening, Joe drove his redneck truck to night school where he was finishing his GED. Every Sunday, Joe drove himself and Winnie-Mae in the redneck truck to the First Baptist Church and in the evening to the KKK barbeque.
redneck truck by Carl Willis September 4, 2005
hole hair
n. Hair immediately surrounding the anus of a domestic animal. Generally it is recommended that your pet's long and obtrusive hole hair be trimmed for hygienic reasons. Faeces has a tendency to accrete in unkempt hole hair, giving rise to unwelcome odors and a stiff mat of infectious wormy filth lining the animal's crotch.
After an especially challenging bout of diarrhoeia, we burned off Fido's crusty hole hair with a lighter.
hole hair by Carl Willis August 29, 2005
guantanamo
"According to Donald Rumsfeld, the gas chambers and crematoria needed for the Guantanamo facility will be constructed by Halliburton Corporation, which won the no-bid contract yesterday. In other news, the State Department is requiring all persons of the Muslim faith to report to the nearest Amtrak station tomorrow at noon for relocation...I'm Shea Stevens and this is NPR News."
guantanamo by Carl Willis August 29, 2005
klucker
n. (Klux + -er): 1. A member of the Ku Klux Klan. 2. Used pejoratively, a white American who is perceived to be bigoted, particularly in matters of black / white racial integration.
klucker by Carl Willis May 13, 2005