Candylaw's definitions

Diablo dingdong deuce

a flaming bag of shit left on someone's front porch, wherein the perp rings the doorbell before running off.

Shannon got crap all over his foot when he stomped out a diablo dingdong deuce that someone left for him!

by Candylaw March 18, 2014

Zoomface

Tear-stained face from trying to figure out how to use Zoom

I asked my mom what was wrong while we were video chatting, because she looked like she’d been crying, and she said that she must have Zoomface from trying to figure out how to chat virtually.

by Candylaw April 13, 2020

couch-wife

a couch-potato house wife

Bob:"Where does Bill's wife work?" Jane:"She doesn't do any kind of work; she's a couch-wife."

by Candylaw December 17, 2012

Pants-card

someone's roster of sexual partners - a takeoff on the old-timey "dance card"

This really gross dude tried to take me home the other night, but I explained to him that my pants-card was full!

by Candylaw March 18, 2014

Dingdong deuce

A dingdong deuce is when a bag of feces is left on someone's doorstep, or front porch, and the perp rings the doorbell before running away.

The other morning I was awakened by a dingdong deuce; when I opened the front door, there was a bag of dog shit!

by Candylaw March 18, 2014