Candy Muffinbaker's definitions

haint

Old English in origin, Haint is the middle evolution from the word "havent" which eventually became word we now know as "aint"

havent= haint=aint

"but you have got two bitter swords and I haint got a knife!"
from the song, The Ballad of Mattie Groves

by Candy Muffinbaker October 14, 2006

old goat

An cranky old man with a beard, who might just be your father, and who might aldso give you a violent haircut if your bangs are too long.

Pat: "come here you old goat and have a hot dog"
Mike: "mnn..I don't like hot dogs!!...or do I?"

by Candy Muffinbaker October 14, 2006

jizz wizz

1. the causative effect of urinatingdirectly after orgasm.

2. the causative effect of urinating during orgasm

3. matrimony of urine and sperm

"Did you just jizz wizz in my roast beef??"

by Candy Muffinbaker October 14, 2006

rabbit

to runaway; to leave quickly, to get going.

"Dude, this soup tastes like shit, I'm gonna rabbit!"

GF: "Hey, do you want to come upstairs for some breakfast?"
BF: "Naw, I can't, my Mom's waiting on me, I gotta rabbit."
GF: "But you're 35!!!"
(phone rings)
BF: "Yay! that's her calling me now! See ya!"

by Candy Muffinbaker October 14, 2006

jimmy

to constantly spill or dribble coffee without rhyme or reason

I was just raising the cup to my lips and pulled a jimmy all over my lap

by Candy Muffinbaker October 14, 2006

goat fed

to perform felatio from a position liken to that of a suckling baby goat

"c'mere, pat, it's time to be goat fed!"

by Candy Muffinbaker October 14, 2006

violent haircut

1.A very bad and emotionally scarring haircut given to a child of impoverished means by his(or her) father after waking said father by accident after he just worked an 18 hour shift at the asbestos factory

2.A very bad and emotionally scarringhaircut given to a child of impoverished means by his(or her) father the night before school pictures are taken

1. "What the hell are you doing??? I'm trying to sleep! Go get the scissors!"

2. "So you want a haircut for school pictures?? I'll give you a haircut! Pat, get me the scissors!"

15 years later in therapy: So your father gave you a violent haircut... how does that make you feel?

by Candy Muffinbaker October 14, 2006