10 definition by Candy Muffinbaker

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to constantly spill or dribble coffee without rhyme or reason
I was just raising the cup to my lips and pulled a jimmy all over my lap
by Candy Muffinbaker October 14, 2006

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An cranky old man with a beard, who might just be your father, and who might aldso give you a violent haircut if your bangs are too long.
Pat: "come here you old goat and have a hot dog"
Mike: "mnn..I don't like hot dogs!!...or do I?"
by Candy Muffinbaker October 14, 2006

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1. the causative effect of urinatingdirectly after orgasm.

2. the causative effect of urinating during orgasm

3. matrimony of urine and sperm
"Did you just jizz wizz in my roast beef??"
by Candy Muffinbaker October 14, 2006

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How your ass feels after anal sex with an inexperienced person.
My date with Bob was wonderful, fine dining, dancing under the stars, and a delicious breakfast back at his place the next morning, but he left out the part about the ass massacre! I'll never go bottoms up with him again!
by Candy Muffinbaker October 14, 2006

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1.A very bad and emotionally scarring haircut given to a child of impoverished means by his(or her) father after waking said father by accident after he just worked an 18 hour shift at the asbestos factory

2.A very bad and emotionally scarringhaircut given to a child of impoverished means by his(or her) father the night before school pictures are taken
1. "What the hell are you doing??? I'm trying to sleep! Go get the scissors!"

2. "So you want a haircut for school pictures?? I'll give you a haircut! Pat, get me the scissors!"

15 years later in therapy: So your father gave you a violent haircut... how does that make you feel?
by Candy Muffinbaker October 14, 2006

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The portion of underwear where a girl's roast beef rests.
"Just to think of my alarm and distaste at the sight of him (Frisco Sockpuppet) nestled down in to the poon catch of my sister's greasy panties, made me sad, for I now know how desperate he must feel and angry that she changes them so often."
by Candy Muffinbaker October 14, 2006

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to perform felatio from a position liken to that of a suckling baby goat
"c'mere, pat, it's time to be goat fed!"
by Candy Muffinbaker October 14, 2006

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