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CDSmith1967's definitions

You're dead where you stand!

This where being in deep trouble is unheard of, and goes beyond in deep shit. You might as well face it... doomed is putting it mildly. You are in SO deep in woe, you can only pray for death.

And both Mr. Mertle from "The Sandlot" and Sans from Undertale said it.
A scene from the Sandlot after Scotty Smalls explains about why he borrowed his

stepfather's autographed Babe Ruth baseball----

Mr. Mertle: I take it back. You're not in trouble. You're dead where you stand!

Can you say Oh shit?
by CDSmith1967 February 20, 2017
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balloons

The girl was flat-chested before; now she looked like
she had put great big balloons under shirt... that is...
until she took off that shirt! WOW!!
by CDSmith1967 July 6, 2006
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fruitful valley

Cleavage between a woman's breasts,
especially if said woman has large
breasts.
I tried not to notice, I tried to
ignore it, but I couldn't help but
look upon the fruitful valley that
was in view from within her snug
blouse.
by CDSmith1967 October 12, 2005
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nuzzle

To rub your nose at a girl's body parts.

When nuzzling her neck, take in the smell of her perfume.
But in more intimate situations, nuzzling at her breasts is
even better. Trust me.
The girl squealed in surprise, then
laughed out loud as her amorous boyfriend
pressed his face into her big, soft breasts.

Then she said, teasingly as he began to
nuzzle her:

"EEP! You horny bastard! Stop! I'm ticklish there! Hahaha!!"
by CDSmith1967 August 4, 2007
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Twisting in the wind

Where you yourself is in an EXTREMELY BAD
situation that makes you wonder if you'll
get out of it with your ass either intact
or injured but intact...
With no help from ANYONE... EVER.

(See up shit creek, screwed, fucked up, and screwed six ways till Sunday.)

Imagine a small piece of metal in a
F5 tornado.

Now, imagine yourself in a social situation
that is equally like the F5 tornado and you
being the small piece of metal.
A guy lends his credit card to a relative to
help her out. Said relative runs up the limit
to card, and commits credit fraud. Guy gets
stuck with the bill, and is facing $15,000
owed for purchases he didn't make. Relative
chooses toskip town while the guy tries
to pez out every crying dime to said bill
before the po-po and the courts make him
Bubba's playmate for being a credit criminal.

However, the store cameras did scope out
the scenery and backed his claims, and
now the relative is up shit creek.

Both parties went twisting in the wind for
that one!
by CDSmith1967 April 9, 2009
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one-finger salute

Same as The Eminem salute, the freeway salute, the Jersy salute,
the finger, the bird, just to flip off the ones you really can't stand.

In other words , the middle finger.
There was many a time
That Roy Lee acted a prat.
Seriously, he was an older version
Of a poseur, a brown noser, and a really spoiled brat.

So, whether it was behind his back
Or right in his PLAIN VIEW,
I'd showed him my middle digit
And with no hesitation, too!

Though I had quit that job,
I've given him the one-finger salute...
Just to prove he's a big loser...
AND to piss him off, to boot!
by CDSmith1967 November 5, 2005
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knitting booties

The after effects of shagging without rubber.
When your girl starts knitting booties as she
sports a baby bump, you know you'll HAVE to either
get hitched or pay child support.
I know I want a cute girl to be knitting booties,
but I need have cabbage to support her and her
kids... once we're married.
by CDSmith1967 October 14, 2006
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