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CDSmith1967's definitions

bite my ass

Just another way tell someone to fuck off.
Some old fuck was yelling at me for no reason, so I walked past hi, gave him the finger and yelled, "Ahhh, bite my ass, you peckerwood son-of-a-bitch!"
by CDSmith1967 April 16, 2016
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Oh shit!

Two well-know last words that are said
in an expression of:

1) Impending trouble- When you got a blunt in your hand,
and the po-po appears around the corner;

2) Chargin- When someone finds out a dirty secret
that involves YOU or you're losing in a game;

and/or 3) Catastrophe- at the last second before a
car crash;

EIther way, you are screwed, dude.
Example #1- Dereck had just rolled a fat ass blunt
on the corner when he saw the 5-O rollin' in like
bad weather. "Oh shit!" he thought as he dropped his
last fattie in to the sewer. The cops looked him over,
but Derek didn't get busted for possession.

Example #2- When Henry's mom found his web-blog,
all he could say was, "Ohhhhhhhhhh shit."

Example #3- *SCRRRRREEEEECCCCCHHHHH!!* "OH SHIT!!!"
was the last words that Susan said as her car crashed
into the guy's parked Beamer. If the collision doesn't
nearly kill her, the owner of the car-now-turned-hoopty
will, either with a tire iron or a lawsuit.
by CDSmith1967 April 16, 2006
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screaming shits

When you have the absolutely worst case of diarrhea that you feel like
Jeff Daniels did on the toilet in Dumb and Dumber and the pain is too
much to bear.
When you drink too many glasses of milk or some lowdown bastard spikes your food
with laxative or you eat too much spicy food, you'll know for sure you'll get them, and
you'll be on the can for a good long time having the screaming shits.
by CDSmith1967 March 6, 2019
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Twisting in the wind

Where you yourself is in an EXTREMELY BAD
situation that makes you wonder if you'll
get out of it with your ass either intact
or injured but intact...
With no help from ANYONE... EVER.

(See up shit creek, screwed, fucked up, and screwed six ways till Sunday.)

Imagine a small piece of metal in a
F5 tornado.

Now, imagine yourself in a social situation
that is equally like the F5 tornado and you
being the small piece of metal.
A guy lends his credit card to a relative to
help her out. Said relative runs up the limit
to card, and commits credit fraud. Guy gets
stuck with the bill, and is facing $15,000
owed for purchases he didn't make. Relative
chooses toskip town while the guy tries
to pez out every crying dime to said bill
before the po-po and the courts make him
Bubba's playmate for being a credit criminal.

However, the store cameras did scope out
the scenery and backed his claims, and
now the relative is up shit creek.

Both parties went twisting in the wind for
that one!
by CDSmith1967 April 9, 2009
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rotten-egg fart

A really REALLY bad smeeling fart that
contains a HUGE amount of hydrogen
sulfide, contained in the familiar and
noxious odor of the proteins breaking
down from bacterial growth within...
you guessed it, a rotting egg.

And boy! those are straight up nasty.
*POOOOT!*

Get the Air-Wick! This mother-fucker
just laid a rotten-egg fart in here!
by CDSmith1967 January 22, 2006
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balloons

The girl was flat-chested before; now she looked like
she had put great big balloons under shirt... that is...
until she took off that shirt! WOW!!
by CDSmith1967 July 6, 2006
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nuzzle

To rub your nose at a girl's body parts.

When nuzzling her neck, take in the smell of her perfume.
But in more intimate situations, nuzzling at her breasts is
even better. Trust me.
The girl squealed in surprise, then
laughed out loud as her amorous boyfriend
pressed his face into her big, soft breasts.

Then she said, teasingly as he began to
nuzzle her:

"EEP! You horny bastard! Stop! I'm ticklish there! Hahaha!!"
by CDSmith1967 August 4, 2007
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