Definitions by CDSmith1967
screaming shits
When you have the absolutely worst case of diarrhea that you feel like
Jeff Daniels did on the toilet in Dumb and Dumber and the pain is too
much to bear.
Jeff Daniels did on the toilet in Dumb and Dumber and the pain is too
much to bear.
When you drink too many glasses of milk or some lowdown bastard spikes your food
with laxative or you eat too much spicy food, you'll know for sure you'll get them, and
you'll be on the can for a good long time having the screaming shits.
with laxative or you eat too much spicy food, you'll know for sure you'll get them, and
you'll be on the can for a good long time having the screaming shits.
screaming shits by CDSmith1967 March 6, 2019
You're dead where you stand!
This where being in deep trouble is unheard of, and goes beyond in deep shit. You might as well face it... doomed is putting it mildly. You are in SO deep in woe, you can only pray for death.
And both Mr. Mertle from "The Sandlot" and Sans from Undertale said it.
And both Mr. Mertle from "The Sandlot" and Sans from Undertale said it.
A scene from the Sandlot after Scotty Smalls explains about why he borrowed his
stepfather's autographed Babe Ruth baseball----
Mr. Mertle: I take it back. You're not in trouble. You're dead where you stand!
Can you say Oh shit?
stepfather's autographed Babe Ruth baseball----
Mr. Mertle: I take it back. You're not in trouble. You're dead where you stand!
Can you say Oh shit?
You're dead where you stand! by CDSmith1967 February 20, 2017
bite my ass
Some old fuck was yelling at me for no reason, so I walked past hi, gave him the finger and yelled, "Ahhh, bite my ass, you peckerwood son-of-a-bitch!"
bite my ass by CDSmith1967 April 16, 2016
Too Many Cooks Spoil The Broth
When someone or a group of people (usually in a working environment)
try to tell you how you are supposed to do YOUR job when
they are incapable of doing your job, especially THEY feel
the need to dish out some oppression to those who are
declassé in their own opinion, or doing it for shits and
giggles just to make misery. Even worse when a
one trick pony wage slave acts like a
big headed twat toward anyone who pushes a broom
or mops the floor.
Culminates into too many chiefs and not enough Indians
helping to make one's fuck up into a Fuck Up of the First Order
while being in total denial of doing so.
try to tell you how you are supposed to do YOUR job when
they are incapable of doing your job, especially THEY feel
the need to dish out some oppression to those who are
declassé in their own opinion, or doing it for shits and
giggles just to make misery. Even worse when a
one trick pony wage slave acts like a
big headed twat toward anyone who pushes a broom
or mops the floor.
Culminates into too many chiefs and not enough Indians
helping to make one's fuck up into a Fuck Up of the First Order
while being in total denial of doing so.
When too many cooks spoil the broth, only a lot of blame is served.
And knowing some folks, they don't want that portion.
And knowing some folks, they don't want that portion.
Too Many Cooks Spoil The Broth by CDSmith1967 February 12, 2013
deal sweetener
Verb. To throw something extra-cool in the already-existing good deal, making more appealing.
It's something like what a car-dealer does when offering a vehicle with extra comforts... but the items in question are for free.
Deal sweeteners work for those who are truly smooth talkers, and those blessed with a silver tongue who
know how to talk a good deal. The difference is: Those kind of folks DO SO MORE than those who BS.
But beware... liars can do it, too, especially in working out a scam.
It's something like what a car-dealer does when offering a vehicle with extra comforts... but the items in question are for free.
Deal sweeteners work for those who are truly smooth talkers, and those blessed with a silver tongue who
know how to talk a good deal. The difference is: Those kind of folks DO SO MORE than those who BS.
But beware... liars can do it, too, especially in working out a scam.
The computer service guy not only offer to fix my computer, he threw in a deal sweetener: some anti-virus software and a wi-fi receiver for free for being a first-time customer! Fuck yeah!
deal sweetener by CDSmith1967 October 9, 2012
Twisting in the wind
Where you yourself is in an EXTREMELY BAD
situation that makes you wonder if you'll
get out of it with your ass either intact
or injured but intact...
With no help from ANYONE... EVER.
(See up shit creek, screwed, fucked up, and screwed six ways till Sunday.)
Imagine a small piece of metal in a
F5 tornado.
Now, imagine yourself in a social situation
that is equally like the F5 tornado and you
being the small piece of metal.
situation that makes you wonder if you'll
get out of it with your ass either intact
or injured but intact...
With no help from ANYONE... EVER.
(See up shit creek, screwed, fucked up, and screwed six ways till Sunday.)
Imagine a small piece of metal in a
F5 tornado.
Now, imagine yourself in a social situation
that is equally like the F5 tornado and you
being the small piece of metal.
A guy lends his credit card to a relative to
help her out. Said relative runs up the limit
to card, and commits credit fraud. Guy gets
stuck with the bill, and is facing $15,000
owed for purchases he didn't make. Relative
chooses toskip town while the guy tries
to pez out every crying dime to said bill
before the po-po and the courts make him
Bubba's playmate for being a credit criminal.
However, the store cameras did scope out
the scenery and backed his claims, and
now the relative is up shit creek.
Both parties went twisting in the wind for
that one!
help her out. Said relative runs up the limit
to card, and commits credit fraud. Guy gets
stuck with the bill, and is facing $15,000
owed for purchases he didn't make. Relative
chooses toskip town while the guy tries
to pez out every crying dime to said bill
before the po-po and the courts make him
Bubba's playmate for being a credit criminal.
However, the store cameras did scope out
the scenery and backed his claims, and
now the relative is up shit creek.
Both parties went twisting in the wind for
that one!
Twisting in the wind by CDSmith1967 April 9, 2009
slap monkey
~adj.-
1. a servant, loser, or lackey, to heap abuse on for any mistakes or failures he or she makes.
2. Status for someone who deserves the beatdown heaped on for
stupid shit they did or stupid shit they said.
1. a servant, loser, or lackey, to heap abuse on for any mistakes or failures he or she makes.
2. Status for someone who deserves the beatdown heaped on for
stupid shit they did or stupid shit they said.
Example #1- You stupid fuckin' slap monkey! For that, you earned this ass-beating, motherfucker!!!
Example #2- You punk ass bitch... your status just dropped to the level of a slap monkey.
Now, get ready for a relentless but well-deserved beatdown.
Example #2- You punk ass bitch... your status just dropped to the level of a slap monkey.
Now, get ready for a relentless but well-deserved beatdown.
slap monkey by CDSmith1967 June 30, 2008