Bottom Ford, Esq's definitions

fire drill

A method for getting no-longer-wanted company up off your couch and out the door.

“Come on, Bottom, fire drill!”
“Wait, I’m not done telling you about the cool dream I had during my nap.”
“The house is on fire, Bottom! Go, go, go!”

by Bottom Ford, Esq March 21, 2014

ass wholeness

1. The state or trait of being an asshole.

2. Success in following one’s bliss to such a state.

We find that tattoos with violent themes indicate ass wholeness.

by Bottom Ford, Esq September 20, 2012

release the kitties

Famous last words you don’t want to hear, because it means you are about to be killed by a horde of ruthless, predatory kitties. Made famous by Metalpocalypse.

When Bottom said, “Release the kitties,” I knew my death would be slow, painful, and certain.

by Bottom Ford, Esq February 27, 2012

Byrned out

A state of burn-out suffered by the partners of David Byrne fans who think he’s funny for a couple of years but then only tolerate him out of love.

“If Bottom plays Little Creatures one more time I am going to get Byrned out.”

by Bottom Ford, Esq June 29, 2011