don't ask don't smell

Something you can say after expelling some noisome bodily gas, fluid or solid in the presence of others.

“Pee-yoo! Who did that?”
“Don't ask don't smell.”

by Bottom Ford, Esq December 25, 2010

fire drill

A method for getting no-longer-wanted company up off your couch and out the door.

“Come on, Bottom, fire drill!”
“Wait, I’m not done telling you about the cool dream I had during my nap.”
“The house is on fire, Bottom! Go, go, go!”

by Bottom Ford, Esq March 09, 2014

caesarean haircut

1. A short hair style, with the hair combed forward (in some cases to disguise a receding hairline), effecting a resemblance to various busts or portraits of Caesar.

2. A surgical procedure that removes some of the baby’s hair during birth.

“Look! A caesarean haircut!”
“I did it myself with barber clippers.”

“That newborn looks unreasonably stylish.”
“He got a caesarean haircut.”

by Bottom Ford, Esq December 30, 2010

ass wholeness

1. The state or trait of being an asshole.

2. Success in following one’s bliss to such a state.

We find that tattoos with violent themes indicate ass wholeness.

by Bottom Ford, Esq April 20, 2012