Bottom Ford, Esq's definitions

don't ask don't smell

Something you can say after expelling some noisome bodily gas, fluid or solid in the presence of others.

“Pee-yoo! Who did that?”
“Don't ask don't smell.”

by Bottom Ford, Esq December 25, 2010

paragaffe

The social offense of wasting people’s time by blathering on for a whole paragraph when a short sentence would suffice.

“All I wanted to know was whether Bottom is still smoking. He wrote back a whole paragaffe about why it’s none of my business and smoking is not a problem for him.”

by Bottom Ford, Esq May 16, 2011

release the kitties

Famous last words you don’t want to hear, because it means you are about to be killed by a horde of ruthless, predatory kitties. Made famous by Metalpocalypse.

When Bottom said, “Release the kitties,” I knew my death would be slow, painful, and certain.

by Bottom Ford, Esq February 27, 2012

ass wholeness

1. The state or trait of being an asshole.

2. Success in following one’s bliss to such a state.

We find that tattoos with violent themes indicate ass wholeness.

by Bottom Ford, Esq September 20, 2012