fire drill

A method for getting no-longer-wanted company up off your couch and out the door.
“Come on, Bottom, fire drill!”
“Wait, I’m not done telling you about the cool dream I had during my nap.”
The house is on fire, Bottom! Go, go, go!”
by Bottom Ford, Esq March 21, 2014
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swim johns

Swimwear with long sleeves and pants, like long johns, for swimming. Designed for sun protection and/or modesty.
Meet me in Hawaii. I’ll be the girl wearing swim johns.
by Bottom Ford, Esq December 13, 2010
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paragaffe

The social offense of wasting people’s time by blathering on for a whole paragraph when a short sentence would suffice.
“All I wanted to know was whether Bottom is still smoking. He wrote back a whole paragaffe about why it’s none of my business and smoking is not a problem for him.”
by Bottom Ford, Esq May 16, 2011
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release the kitties

Famous last words you don’t want to hear, because it means you are about to be killed by a horde of ruthless, predatory kitties. Made famous by Metalpocalypse.
When Bottom said, “Release the kitties,” I knew my death would be slow, painful, and certain.
by Bottom Ford, Esq February 27, 2012
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