Definitions by Bobby the Bug Man
the stormy
"I did something presidential last night." Oh yeah, what was that? "I gave your mom the stormy." You're a fucking banker rim licker. Fuck you!
the stormy by Bobby the Bug Man October 22, 2020
blown surprise
A bar trick usually performed by a female server or bar tender on a patron that has closed their tab and hung around to bullshit with their friends. At this point, the server/bar tender re-engages with the non-tipper to tell them the legend of if you blow on one’s asshole, one is unable to shit. With that, the patron calls shenanigans and asks the server/bar tender to prove it. Without hesitation, the server has the cheap bastard lie on their back on the bar/a table/the floor, pulls down her pants to expose her balloon knot, then has the scumbag blow a sweet breeze. Upon the wind hitting the chocolate star, she releases an extrusion of warm soft-served shitty logs onto the mother fucker’s face.
Yo, the other night I hung out with a buddy at the Watering Hole and he brought his dumbass coworker with him. That mother fucker bought over $100 of booze and didn’t tip the bar tender. He then hung around like Epstein in a jail cell. Eventually the bar tender told him THE legend and as expected, he didn’t believe it and asked her to prove it. So, she gave him the blown surprise and released Thursdays meatloaf all over his face. It was epic!
blown surprise by Bobby the Bug Man October 5, 2020
blown surprise
A bar trick usually performed by a female server or bar tender on a patron that has closed their tab without tipping and hung around to bullshit with friends. At this point, the server/bar tender re-engages with the patron and precedes to tell them about the urban legend that if someone blows on one's asshole, that person can't shit. At this point, the non-tipper is so obliterated and a non-believer of the urban legend and asks to have it proven. At this point, the server/bar tender has the patron lie on their back up on the bar, on the floor, or on a stage. They then pull down their pants to expose the chocolate star and ask the non-tipper to blow. Upon the cool breeze hitting the 'ol balloon knot, the bowels are released, leaving a free swirly on the patron's face.
Yo, the other night I hung out with Jason at the Watering Hole and he brought his dumbass co-worker, Adam, with him. That mother fucker bought over $100 of booze and didn't tip our server. He then proceeded to hang around like Epstein in a prison cell. After a while, the server told him THE urban legend. And yes, he fell for it. She gave him the blown surprise and shat all over his face! It was EPIC!!
blown surprise by Bobby the Bug Man September 22, 2020
shitcessful
When, on the backside of a night of major drinking, you sit down on the commode and use those 8 Coronas to push your wife’s meatloaf through your balloon knot and into the toilet where it should have gone in the first place. All while having the extruded log going from what looks like old petrified, burnt bark to smooth light-brown peanut butter.
Hey Tom, you having a good day? “Man, I’m having a shitcessful day!” Oh really? Did you blow out that struggle plug or something? “Dude, I reset my bowels to Thursday before my wife fed me a meatloaf that looked like a dead cat. I feel like I can take over the world now!!”
shitcessful by Bobby the Bug Man September 21, 2020
rubbing lamps
Similar to scissoring, but involves two happy men rubbing their buttholes together while making extravagant wishes.
I just saw the most ridiculous meme ever. "Was it a girl yelling at a cat?" No, it was two dudes rubbing lamps and asking for pearl necklaces, tea bags, and chocolate starfish. I didn't get it.
rubbing lamps by Bobby the Bug Man August 26, 2020
procrastifart
When you put off taking a shit for so long that your farts go from smelling like typical gas to just pure shit as the air upon release passes over and around a gigantic turd.
procrastifart by Bobby the Bug Man August 25, 2020
struggle plug
When you've been constipated for a few days and sit on the toilet to shit, but are unable to produce a log.
I was sitting on the shitter and things ended with a ghost wipe and a clean flush. That struggle plug almost gave me a stroke!
struggle plug by Bobby the Bug Man August 22, 2020