When a man has just pulled up to a urinal in a public restroom and has a gas bubble drop to the back gate at the same time as the flow is about to start. At this moment, a friend walks in and calls you out by name. Now your identity is revealed to others that are in the stalls. With this happening, you can no longer let the brown cloud come flapping out. The only thing you can do is limit the flow with enough squeeze on the urethra that didn’ doesn’t compromise the rectum seal.
Fuck man, my boss walked in to bathroom right when I pulled up to the urinal. A gas bubble dropped and I was working the valves to save myself from an embarrassing fart.
by Bobby the Bug Man March 23, 2022
This is an event that occurs when a shit has brewed under the extreme pressure of last night’s streak and you’re now sitting on the commode ready to unload. At this moment, the gas escapes as such a velocity that you no longer have the sphincter strength to stop this hell from escaping. Usually it starts with a quick clap, followed by gigantic explosion that breaks the sound barrier, then ends with a dry-to-wet sputtering that let leads to feces in any state of matter to then rely on gravity to make a splash. It should also be pointed out that the explosion has a specific echo that is purely unique to this event. And, you ALL know what I mean.
by Bobby the Bug Man January 27, 2022
Similar to scissoring, but involves two happy men rubbing their buttholes together while making extravagant wishes.
I just saw the most ridiculous meme ever. "Was it a girl yelling at a cat?" No, it was two dudes rubbing lamps and asking for pearl necklaces, tea bags, and chocolate starfish. I didn't get it.
by Bobby the Bug Man August 26, 2020
A bar trick usually performed by a female server or bar tender on a patron that has closed their tab without tipping and hung around to bullshit with friends. At this point, the server/bar tender re-engages with the patron and precedes to tell them about the urban legend that if someone blows on one's asshole, that person can't shit. At this point, the non-tipper is so obliterated and a non-believer of the urban legend and asks to have it proven. At this point, the server/bar tender has the patron lie on their back up on the bar, on the floor, or on a stage. They then pull down their pants to expose the chocolate star and ask the non-tipper to blow. Upon the cool breeze hitting the 'ol balloon knot, the bowels are released, leaving a free swirly on the patron's face.
Yo, the other night I hung out with Jason at the Watering Hole and he brought his dumbass co-worker, Adam, with him. That mother fucker bought over $100 of booze and didn't tip our server. He then proceeded to hang around like Epstein in a prison cell. After a while, the server told him THE urban legend. And yes, he fell for it. She gave him the blown surprise and shat all over his face! It was EPIC!!
by Bobby the Bug Man September 22, 2020
A bar trick usually performed by a female server or bar tender on a patron that has closed their tab and hung around to bullshit with their friends. At this point, the server/bar tender re-engages with the non-tipper to tell them the legend of if you blow on one’s asshole, one is unable to shit. With that, the patron calls shenanigans and asks the server/bar tender to prove it. Without hesitation, the server has the cheap bastard lie on their back on the bar/a table/the floor, pulls down her pants to expose her balloon knot, then has the scumbag blow a sweet breeze. Upon the wind hitting the chocolate star, she releases an extrusion of warm soft-served shitty logs onto the mother fucker’s face.
Yo, the other night I hung out with a buddy at the Watering Hole and he brought his dumbass coworker with him. That mother fucker bought over $100 of booze and didn’t tip the bar tender. He then hung around like Epstein in a jail cell. Eventually the bar tender told him THE legend and as expected, he didn’t believe it and asked her to prove it. So, she gave him the blown surprise and released Thursdays meatloaf all over his face. It was epic!
by Bobby the Bug Man October 06, 2020
When you've been constipated for a few days and sit on the toilet to shit, but are unable to produce a log.
I was sitting on the shitter and things ended with a ghost wipe and a clean flush. That struggle plug almost gave me a stroke!
by Bobby the Bug Man August 22, 2020
When you have every sign that your bowels are full beyond capacity and a major shit needs to be taken, but upon parking your ass on the commode and easing the tension on your blowhole, all that comes out is 100psi of fecal flavored gas. No poop. Not even an M&M. Just enough methane to heat an igloo for the winter.
Me: Ah oh, I need to find a toilet immediately!
You: There’s a bathroom over there.
Me: <running for my life >
You: I hope he doesn’t make it.
Also you: Well, that was fast.
Me: Yep, it was only a gasplosion.
Also me: The velocity of brown wind made the fucking toilet flush itself!
You: There’s a bathroom over there.
Me: <running for my life >
You: I hope he doesn’t make it.
Also you: Well, that was fast.
Me: Yep, it was only a gasplosion.
Also me: The velocity of brown wind made the fucking toilet flush itself!
by Bobby the Bug Man February 11, 2022