When, on the backside of a night of major drinking, you sit down on the commode and use those 8 Coronas to push your wife’s meatloaf through your balloon knot and into the toilet where it should have gone in the first place. All while having the extruded log going from what looks like old petrified, burnt bark to smooth light-brown peanut butter.
Hey Tom, you having a good day? “Man, I’m having a shitcessful day!” Oh really? Did you blow out that struggle plug or something? “Dude, I reset my bowels to Thursday before my wife fed me a meatloaf that looked like a dead cat. I feel like I can take over the world now!!”
by Bobby the Bug Man September 21, 2020
Get the shitcessful mug.When you have every sign that your bowels are full beyond capacity and a major shit needs to be taken, but upon parking your ass on the commode and easing the tension on your blowhole, all that comes out is 100psi of fecal flavored gas. No poop. Not even an M&M. Just enough methane to heat an igloo for the winter.
Me: Ah oh, I need to find a toilet immediately!
You: There’s a bathroom over there.
Me: <running for my life >
You: I hope he doesn’t make it.
Also you: Well, that was fast.
Me: Yep, it was only a gasplosion.
Also me: The velocity of brown wind made the fucking toilet flush itself!
You: There’s a bathroom over there.
Me: <running for my life >
You: I hope he doesn’t make it.
Also you: Well, that was fast.
Me: Yep, it was only a gasplosion.
Also me: The velocity of brown wind made the fucking toilet flush itself!
by Bobby the Bug Man February 11, 2022
Get the gasplosion mug.When you’re in a public restroom taking a shit in your favorite stall and push out a log followed by residual gas that flaps and echoes off of all of walls.
by Bobby the Bug Man May 06, 2022
Get the shitecho mug.Very much like Craig's List, except the shit being sold were stolen from the workplace. Items such as vacuum cleaners.
Where the fuck is the drill?? "Have you checked on Greg's List?" If that piece of shit stole it, I'm going to burn him in his wood-fire pizza oven.
by Bobby the Bug Man August 22, 2020
Get the Greg's List mug.When you put off taking a shit for so long that your farts go from smelling like typical gas to just pure shit as the air upon release passes over and around a gigantic turd.
by Bobby the Bug Man August 25, 2020
Get the procrastifart mug.When a man has just pulled up to a urinal in a public restroom and has a gas bubble drop to the back gate at the same time as the flow is about to start. At this moment, a friend walks in and calls you out by name. Now your identity is revealed to others that are in the stalls. With this happening, you can no longer let the brown cloud come flapping out. The only thing you can do is limit the flow with enough squeeze on the urethra that didn’ doesn’t compromise the rectum seal.
Fuck man, my boss walked in to bathroom right when I pulled up to the urinal. A gas bubble dropped and I was working the valves to save myself from an embarrassing fart.
by Bobby the Bug Man March 23, 2022
Get the working the valves mug.A bar trick usually performed by a female server or bar tender on a patron that has closed their tab without tipping and hung around to bullshit with friends. At this point, the server/bar tender re-engages with the patron and precedes to tell them about the urban legend that if someone blows on one's asshole, that person can't shit. At this point, the non-tipper is so obliterated and a non-believer of the urban legend and asks to have it proven. At this point, the server/bar tender has the patron lie on their back up on the bar, on the floor, or on a stage. They then pull down their pants to expose the chocolate star and ask the non-tipper to blow. Upon the cool breeze hitting the 'ol balloon knot, the bowels are released, leaving a free swirly on the patron's face.
Yo, the other night I hung out with Jason at the Watering Hole and he brought his dumbass co-worker, Adam, with him. That mother fucker bought over $100 of booze and didn't tip our server. He then proceeded to hang around like Epstein in a prison cell. After a while, the server told him THE urban legend. And yes, he fell for it. She gave him the blown surprise and shat all over his face! It was EPIC!!
by Bobby the Bug Man September 22, 2020
Get the blown surprise mug.