geordie alarm clock

A fart performed in bed by one's wife/female partner, so loud in volume and pungent in smell that it would rouse even a work-shy geordie from his foul sleep pit.

"Howay Pet! Mind tha Geordie alarm clock. Yor orse has splattered broon allaver me pidjammers!"

by Bob Sometimes March 18, 2005

minipop

(a) Descriptive of a sexy girl of diminutive proportions who (1) would look extremely attractive in a "school uniform/jailbait" situation and (2) looks like they might be up for it. (similar to a laptop or a throwabout

(b) To "crack one off" while contemplating the above. Named after an early Channel 4 program designed to appeal to paedophiles in which under-12s dressed up and performed pop songs.
Please note: A Minipop should not be confused with a "Krankywank" which is something quite different and totally unacceptable.

(A) "Did you see that Lisa Rogers slutting about on the Big Breakfast? Talk about a minipop!"

(B) Watching Britney's "One More Time" video always caused Gervaise to squeeze off a minipop.

by Bob Sometimes June 06, 2005

scouser

As everyone has said, a scouser is someone from Liverpool. Like all cities, Liverpool has its scum but I have to say they were colourful and well-mannered. When I stayed there in 1991 I witnessed a branch of Dixons being broken into one night but the thieves were all very polite. They wished me good evening as I went past and went to pains to ensure I wasn't hit by any flying glass from the window they were breaking. I felt this was a very nice touch.

"Oh no! Someone has broken my car window and nicked the radio! But at least they swept the broken glass up - They must be a scouser!"

by Bob Sometimes March 23, 2005

buggeree

One who is buggered, as opposed to one who does the buggering (a buggerer).

"Alright Kids, I'll race you all to the Neverland sign... Last one there is today's buggeree."

by Bob Sometimes March 23, 2005

Laptop

Well OBVIOUSLY its a computer but it also means a woman who is sexy but small of stature and can be easily picked up, moved around, etc, during Horizontal Jogging. Damn! There's another word I'll have to define.

"Dave's girlfriend couldn't reach a high shelf without a ladder and a couple of phone books but he felt it was handy to have a laptop in the bedroom."

by Bob Sometimes January 09, 2006

bird's custard

The thick, creamy sauce that slurps out of a bird when she is aroused (very nice on a piece of apple pie).

"After dinner I enjoyed my aunt's cherry pie with a thick helping of bird's custard"

by Bob Sometimes March 23, 2005

Big Muck

Two flattened turds in a bap, covered in bloody pus and soggy mould, available for purchase at a well-known burger chain. Consumed with enthusiasm by plebs who would eat their own bowels if they were packaged in a gaudy fashion.

"Greetings fresh-faced burger bar attendant. Kindly poison me with a Big Muck, if you would be so kind." - "Certainly sir and would you like some scabby fries with your shit or shall I just puke in your face?"

by Bob Sometimes September 04, 2004