netcock

Since many of the traditional frat boy style cockwaving activities (date raping as many girls as possible, eating semen off of cookies) are available on the world wide web, a different indicator of penis length has cropped up among the dorks and failures of the messageboards. Usual indicators used are postcount, uptime, computer specifications, amount of RAM, hard drive size, "first post" in a thread, and various other completely non-vital statistics about one's computer. These "netcock waving" threads tend to start at least once a month on messageboards. A lucky person may find a thread full of pictures of the board's posters, so that their complete failure/dork status can be properly judged.
"Wow, he's got 20,000 posts, 4GB of RAM, and his computer has been up for 3 years. He must have a massive netcock."
by Bob McFillius July 08, 2003
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cockmuffler

Whore. Someone who has so much cock in their mouth that they can be considered a muffler for it. Does not necessarily imply swallowing. See also cum muffler.
That girl is a regular cockmuffler!
by Bob McFillius April 09, 2003
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uptime

Social status measurement used by hopeless geeks as an alternate indicator of penile length. Completely non-representative of actual work being accomplished by said computer. Most accurate indicator known of time between power outages.
by Bob McFillius April 09, 2003
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shitclump

A tiny clump of shit: Used as a derogatory term or insult.
"He's such a fucking shitclump."
by Bob McFillius April 09, 2003
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feminine itch

1) The act of itching one's self in a feminine manner.

2) An itchy vulva, often talked about in the most blatant possible manner on network TV commercials while I'm eating.
1) Look at him giggling like a school girl and going all limp wristed on that itch. That nizzle gots tha feminine itch for shizzle my dizzle.

2) "There are some subjects that are important to talk about with good friends... like painful, burning, feminine itch" - Actual Quote from Monistat commercial.
by Bob McFillius June 20, 2003
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postcount

Another gauge used by forum failures of a person's netcock. Doesn't necessarily prove contribution to said forum, but does prove how little of a life the poster has. Can reach the tens of thousands for the true fuckups.
Wow, a 10,000 postcount! He must be a well respected member of this forum...

*click*

Wow, 9,000 posts that say "FAP FAP HA HA". What a fucking real American hero.
by Bob McFillius July 08, 2003
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dickclit

A clit that is large enough to be mistaken for a penis, although is not.
That bitch had a 2" dickclit!
by Bob McFillius April 09, 2003
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