Bloodbath 87's definitions

Phone

A device that was originally created for contacting someone over long distances without much effort.

Today, there are many variations of the phone but most of them do every stupid thing that you don't need it to do. Because of this, the corporations jack the price up to inhumane levels.

It's still possible to get a normal phone which does what it was originally intended to do but if you have one your friends will make fun of you.

I got this new phone and could not figure out how to make a call on it. I could, however, summon a giant robot and arm a nuke fairly easily.

by Bloodbath 87 March 6, 2009

Raptor Jesus

Our savior.

Raptor Jesus died for our sins.

by Bloodbath 87 March 6, 2009

God

A mean old tyrant who threatens to punish anyone who disobeys him.

God: Do what I say or you will burn in a fire pit after you die.

Religious person: Yes master. You're not a bastard at all.

by Bloodbath 87 March 6, 2009

Knife

A sharp object used for killing people who don't do as they're told.

I got a new knife at the store today. It's very sharp and should be good for killing.

by Bloodbath 87 March 6, 2009

Super Vagina Kick

When you kick a woman in the vagina so hard that your foot gets stuck in it.

I gave this girl a super vagina kick and my entire foot got stuck in there. I managed to pull my foot out but my shoe is still in there somewhere.

by Bloodbath 87 March 6, 2009

Sex with a Woman

Similar to masturbation but much better. It's performed by inserting your penis into a woman's vagina.

The vagina is located between the woman's legs. You can't miss it.

I had sex with a woman yesterday. It was fun.

by Bloodbath 87 March 6, 2009

Plastic Bag

Something that you pull over your head when trying to kill yourself.

Wal-Mart gives away plastic bags for free as part of their plot to have everyone kill themselves easier.

by Bloodbath 87 March 7, 2009