14 definitions by Blarny

The long delayed sequel to Duke nukem 3D. It was lost in development for over 12 years but when it finally came out it essentially killed the Duke Nukem franchise.

It seems very unlikely that anyone other then hardcore Duke Nukem fans will take much pleasure in this mess of a game and even then only for the nostalgia value of it.

It almost feels like Gearbox, the game company that obtained the rights and "finished" the game, went back threw out all 12 years of previous work and slapped together a 2-bit halo knockoff to rip off the old fanbase and ruin Duke for the new fanbase.

Featuring filler content, platforming puzzles, and crappy game mechanics this is truly a complete mess. It also crossed the very big line between dirty humor and stupid humor more times then I can count. Between the rape jokes and the shit throw (i kid you not it's really in there) it's just not worth the time to play, not to mention the load times are awful even on a high end gaming PC.

They somehow managed to make it to sexist even for Duke, even for DUKE. I didn't even know that was possible.

Another Duke Nukem game has been announced by gearbox, hopefully it will be a masterpiece that saves the franchise but after this god awful performance it's doubtful

Dwarves are the most sturdy race. They are also shorter then most, due to centuries of adaptation to underground homes.

Dwarves are alcohol dependent. They can survive without alcohol but they do slowdown becoming sluggish and grouchy. Dwarves uses alcohol as energy rather then intoxicant. NEVER DRINK WITH DWARVES.

Dwarves love gems & metals and much of there time is spent underground. This can lead to consequences for dwarves who don't get out, mainly cave adaptation.

Dwarves are a friendly race trading with the smelly elves and the humans. Dwarves and Goblins are natural enemies. after seeing each other they will immediately start kicking, punching, and biting each other to death. Dwarves mostly ignore kobold.

Dwarves are a Monarchy. A king who is supreme leader, barons who command regions, and Mayors who rule settlements. All positions can be held by either gender.

Living up to 170 years of age dwarves are very clever building complex traps and tools out of whatever is on hand (rocks)and are the only race afflicted by fay-moods that make them seek out parts to craft items of legendary quality, needs not being met can lead to depression, rage, insanity, and nudism.

Killing animals enemies and plants is ok so long as they are sanctioned. A dwarf committing assault and vandalism are punished. Killing, treason, ect. are punished by death. Lying is a personal matter.

Elves as described by the Dwarves

Elves are smelly, stuck-up, arrogant tree-fondling hippies dedicated to the protection of their concept of nature (focused on trees).

Elven caravans arrive in late spring. During trade, elves will not accept wood, wooden items or any goods decorated with wood.

Elves will, however, gladly trade you their own wooden items. They will not, however, accept their wooden items back. Bunch of hypocritical bastards.

Elven ethics often differ from those of other races. They are likely to be friendly with dwarves, at least until they cut down too many trees. Elves are the only race which wholeheartedly accepts devouring enemy combatants. History shows that an elven combatant will sometimes devour the other person they were fighting when they win. However elves refuse to butcher and consume intelligent beings. Elves find torturing as an example acceptable. To elves, keeping any trophy of any kind is an unthinkable act. Elves allow for killing animals when done in self-defense, and the killing of other elves by an elf is justified if there is an extremely good reason. For elves, the killing of plants is unthinkable. On the other hand, the killing of neutral beings and enemies is acceptable. Elves never offer capital punishment to criminals; instead, elves found to have committed petty crimes are reprimanded, while those convicted of treason, breaking oaths, or participating in slavery are exiled.

One of the best and worst parts of having any form of popularity on the internet. This applies to videogames, movies, youtubers, artists, porn, and basically everything else.

The fanbase is the sum total of all a persons fans good, bad, and otherwise.

While the positive portions of the fanbase often outweigh the negative it can become irritating for yourself and others when your own fans are constantly harassing another persons fans or each other for essentially no reason.

Fans provide the vital service of spreading your name around for others to hear and come to enjoy your stuff much in the same way religious fans never shut up about how you should join there church and talk about there imaginary friend in the sky.

On the other side of this idea however you have the fans who spread your work like the crusades, by destroying, demeaning, or getting butthurt over everything/one remotely similar to your own work.

Frank West the main character of Dead rising. After years of working for newspapers Ex-photographer Frank West decided to go freelance and cover topics most journalists wouldn't even consider including riots, wars, and a myriad of other topics.

In addition Frank West fought his way through the first (official) zombie out break inside of the Willamette mall in Colorado after the city was quarantined, discovered the culprit behind the outbreak, killed numerous insane mall goers who'd succumbed to the stress of a zombie outbreak and became a world famous celebrity.

Unknown to the public until late in his fame Frank West was infected by the zombies during his time in the mall and became dependent on the drug zombrex which temporarily prevents the zombification process and if taken every 24hours can keep an infected person alive indefinitely.

During the events of Dead Rising 2: off the record (alternate but equal version of DR 2) Frank is seen fallen from glory and now a disgraced former celebrity playing on the game show Terror is reality (a gore fest centered around slaughtering zombies) to make money to keep himself in zombrex. Frank isn't a man who can be kept down however and went on to discover the truth behind phenotrans the sole producer of zombrex, Terror is reality, and the numerous outbreaks since the Willamette mall incident including the events at Fortune City where both Dead Rising 2's take place.

The lowest form of gaming that's still considered gaming.

Call of duty is literally the same game with a new map every single year. Don't believe me? Call of duty 3's crash screen reads and I quote "call of duty 2 has crashed"

The fanbase was originally alright but then children with parents who don't give a shit ruined it for everyone, forever.

If you play call of duty and nothing else you are essentially the scum of the gaming community.

If you believe call of duty is better then any game out there, not every, any of the other games out there then you are lower then the scum

The entire series is now being milked dry by greedy developers and is honestly not worth playing in any way shape or form in it's current state.

Kobold are small dog-man like creatures which live on the fringes of larger civilizations.

Kobold are incapable of farming and make a living by stealing what they can from other civilizations. Compounded with the fact that they are frail to the point of pathetic it's understandable why they often lose there communities or are wiped out entirely.

Living almost exclusively in caves and occasionally small cobbled together villages Kobold maintain a position as the worlds scavengers, stealing small goods from the dead after battles and looting garbage dumping grounds. Occasionally a very lucky, brave, or stupid Kobold may get away with stealing something extremely valuable but this is rare.

The shear ridicule of there abilities has caused some to take pity on them, leaving useless but still useable items outside of there protected stockpiles for Kobold to take.

Something about them also seems to garner some form of pity and feelings of adoration leading to them being referred to as cutebold by people who find there quarks endearing rather then annoying.

There main import is death:There main export is petty annoyance.