Bjergen's definitions

value-wipe

when you blow your nose on a piece of tissue and then wipe your ass with the same tissue.

Devon was running low on cash, so when he had diarrhea during allergy season, he had to value-wipe to get by.

by bjergen August 11, 2006

boner bender

An event that ruins a metaphorical erection.

Billy: "You know I go crazy for gumballs man. Well, last easter, I found this egg-shaped piece of candy. I was pretty sure it was a gumball. When I bit into it, though, it was one of those fucking repulsive malt balls! My quaff was so loud that my neighbor called the cops. Those bastards at the malt ball factory always pull that shit."

Darrel: "Talk about a boner bender man. Let's go buy some gumballs"

by bjergen May 24, 2007

TBM

True Blue Mormon; member of the church of jesus christ of latter day saints; momo; LDS

Gerald won't drink coffee and can't wait to get his own planet. Dangit, he's a TBM.

by bjergen September 29, 2011

quaff

quaff (kwaaff) - The revolting burp one has just before vomit spews from one's esophagus, at which point one knows there is no turning back (Here come da puke).

She could not hold it any longer. A deafening quaff rumbled her entrails like rolling thunder. In a split second her jaw shot down and her tongue stuck out as an ocean of scotch and macaroni spewed from her esophagus, filling her mouth. She tried to contain it, but with each heave, more vomit spewed from her lips and onto her guests. No, Hillary Rodham Clinton would not be winning the presidency this year.

by bjergen July 17, 2006